Fifteen & Twelve.

A couple of weeks ago we hosted a neighborhood happy hour. Let me just type that again because it feels so good.

A couple of weeks ago we hosted a neighborhood happy hour. Also I made this appetizer. They're tiny BLT's made in hollowed out cherry tomatoes with a little chipotle mayo on top (I used just ONE chili this time). Then a few days later we invited another couple over to hang out and I made these brussels sprout and bacon appetizers I'd made before.

You know how some people like to light candles to scent their house like a gingerbread cookie? Or they use a room deodorizing spray so their house can smell like an enormous vat of potpourri? When guests come to my house I prefer them to be punched in the face with the smell of bacon. So I made a decision, I will incorporate bacon into every event held in our house.

On Saturday we hosted a euchre tournament for 16 people Logan works with. We had four tables and every one had to play one round with each person. This meant we played, I think, 823 rounds of euchre. It was 2 o'clock in the morning (technically...because of daylight savings time) when I was finally able to get away.

When you host a euchre tournament you have every one bring an entry fee, ours was $7, this money goes into the pot and who ever gets the highest score goes home with some money, $112 in our case. Also every time you get "euchred" (for those of you from....not here, this basically means you did it wrong and you fucked up) you put another amount into a separate pot, our fee for getting euchred was $1.

By round 12 I had put about $600 into the euchre pot and I would have put more in if it meant I could make it stop. But it didn't stop, it went on and on and on. I didn't win any money, not even the euchred pot which was the product of my severe ineptitude at this never ending game.

But then, this story is all about how some things are good in small doses and very bad in larger ones.

In following with my new plan to make everyone smell like bacon after a night at my house, I decided to try these bacon wrapped cracker appetizers from Pioneer Woman Cooks. The house smelled as though I'd washed the floors in bacon grease, and the appetizers were exceedingly simple to make. Perfect.

I left them out on the counter and while I was emptying Maddie's savings account into the euchred pot, most of these really-terrible-for-you treats were devoured. I got my hands on one (before being called back over to empty our Roth IRA into the pot) and, I can't blame everyone for eating them all in about 4.2 seconds. They were amazing. I like to think that food doesn't have to be totally fat laden to be good. I'll tell myself, 'I don't even know it's not there.' But when I ate those crackers I realized what it is fat does. Fat makes things taste like heaven. So, no I don't blame everyone for eating all of the crackers that night, I can really only blame myself for not making a double batch.

Last night I made another batch and I didn't eat dinner because I knew these were really bad for me so I'd save my appetite for them. I sat down to eat my little snack and suddenly there were no more left and my stomach kind of hurt.  All day today I can't think about those bacon crackers without fighting back the urge to gag.

If you were wondering exactly how many rounds of euchre are too many, the answer is 15.
If you wondered what the precise amount of bacon which comprises "Too Many" is, the answer is 12.

You're welcome.

Comments

[Jenn]

Oh, oh, oh. I have something for you. Check this out.

http://www.seriouseats.com/required_eating/2008/02/for-an-edible-container-try-bacon-bowls.html

BipolarLawyerCook clued me into this; now that's for people who are serious about their bacon!

[bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

I swear, bacon is in the air these days. Not Martha did those bacon bowls for Gluten-Free Girl's bacon party and now this! I am definitely going to have to ingest some bacon by Saturday. I'll blame it on peer pressure, ok?
Jules
House of Jules

[Michelle]

God, I love bacon. I haven't had it in months either.

Dammit, woman, now I must go buy bacon.

[ChrisBL]

You should try these; I'd say they're about a 12 also:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Brown-Sugar-Smokies/Detail.aspx

[Ashley Gailey]

Bacon is good.

[Assertagirl]

Bacon makes everything better.

[jaime]

Screw bacon. Someone else knows what euchre is! When I was a kid I was fairly certain my family made it up because I think we were the only people in Maine who knew how to play.

[mom2werogers]

If every party at your house smelled like bacon, I would NEVER LEAVE!

Long live cured pork products!

[Xdm]

I've always wanted to make t-shirts that read, "Everything is Better with Bacon." I'd give you one for free.

[Joel]

You are going love this.

Bacon Curls:
http://www.notmartha.org/archives/2008/02/18/bacon-curls/

Making your own bacon:
http://www.bsbrewing.com/blog/?p=261

[angelawd]

I'm so glad you have found your happiness. And those appetizers sound fantastic.

[Max]

I have been dying to try out that Pioneer Woman Cooks recipe, but have not had an opportunity. I kept waiting to be invited to a party, but now I see you can simply make it and eat the entire recipe yourself! Why didn't I think of that???

[Katie]

I love Euchre but yeah, that's way too much Euchre!

Also thanks for the link to Pioneer Woman's website. I wasted my entire morning looking at her food porn picture and now I plan to waste my entire afternoon reading her "regular" blog. I'm hoping that cooking the Marlboro Man's sandwich for my husband will make up for my lack of productivity.

[Mel]

Yay! Another euchre fan! Most of my family is from the South and has NO CLUE what euchre is.

I can't get enough of that game.....

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

I've been saying for YEARS that the world needs bacon scented air freshener and candles.

[mkdaugherty]

From the home of Bacon Fest, here's another bacon recipe to thank you for all you do:

http://www.browniepointsblog.com/2008/01/20/homemade-bacon-vodka/

[AnEmily]

I can't believe I was actually eating bacon as I read your blog today. When you get your bacon mojo back, be sure to try the Pioneer Woman's bacon-wrapped-cream-cheese-filled-jalapenos. Oh my, delicious!

[Sarah in LA]

Ooh, I made those same bacon things from PW's website.

The first time I made them I was like, hmm, they're good, but I don't need to make them again.

I've made them four times since then, sometimes even a double batch.

[JoAnn]

I had to actually create an account to comment on this one...

If you ask our kids what the family motto is, they will answer "Everything is better with bacon." My husband started it, but I have to say I endorsed it.

I'm born and raised in California, and I could have sworn my husband's family made up Euchre. Who knew!

Here's a good bacon recipe for you: Wrap a slice of bacon around a pretzel rod, bake at about 350 degrees until the bacon is crispy and then roll in finely grated parmesan cheese. Put in a vase or mug or anything upright to serve. These are sooo good. They also freeze well (if any are left over).

[iSheesha]

Delurking for the first time - I've been reading your blog regularly for a year or so.... Anyway - I wanted to share a bacon appetizer with you as well. I made these one year on New Year's Eve and they were devoured within seconds. People were lined up by the oven waiting for more....Enjoy!

Bacon-Wrapped Dates
50 pitted whole dates
50 whole almonds, toasted
1 pound lean bacon, cut into thirds
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Stuff each date with an almond. Wrap each date with bacon; secure with wooden pick. Arrange on a baking sheet.

Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until the bacon is crisp; drain.

Makes fifty appetizers - Serves 2.....!

[BOSSY]

Bossy is coincidentally popping cherry tomatoes as she reads this and -- really? Stuffing cherry tomatoes? Because that seems like it requires the patience of a saint... with a jeweler's monocle.

But: yum.

[Debbie]

I was going to tell you about PW's bacon wrapped jalapeno's but someone beat me to it..they are easy and great and yummy on top of a hamburger...yum! Come on summer!

[Mayzie]

If you think something with three ingredients is easy, try this one with two ingredients. I like to call them the British version of Pigs in a Blanket, but the British actually call them Sausage Rolls.

Needed:

3 packages of pre-cooked Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage Links
1 package of frozen Pepperidge Farm Puff Pastry (sheets)

Thaw half of the pastry on the counter for 1 hour

Cut sausages in half (ala PW's cutting of the bacon)

Roll out pastry on the table with a rolling pin (use a little flour to make sure it doesn't stick to the table or the pin)

Once pastry is rolled out thin (but not too thin) slice it into strips the width of your sausage pieces

Roll enough pastry around the sausage to cover

Seel the edge with water

Continue until all sausages are wrapped

Bake at 400 for about 20 minutes

Enjoy!

They are the best! I bring them every year to our Christmas potluck and they are the first to go.

This recipe makes about 40, but just buy another three packs of sausages so you can use up the whole package of pastry and your good to go for your second batch.

Hope you try them and love them as much we do!

[meghanb]

My husband saw these on food network last year, and requested them for his birthday. They were so good and easy to make they are now a staple at all of our parties.

Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_34886,00.html