Random, on a Wednesday no less.

And I'd still close my f-ing eyes.

Hire your own papparazzo to take your picture. "....the subject is photographed completely naturally, living life as normal." A very intriguing idea. I often let my face slip into an inexplicable scowl when I'm walking around. I'm not unhappy, it's like my default face which is a huge bummer. I started to notice this because store clerks and waiters would ask me if something was wrong. Friendly!

(Via BB-Blog)

Today My Money Didn't Want To Stay In My Pockets

It costs a lot of money (and humiliation) to get your car fixed after you ram it into the side of your garage. I've had to tell 10 people in the last two days that, No, I'm fine from "the accident" I was going 2 miles an hour. In my driveway. Insurance adjuster: "Wow, and you just kept going."

No sir, I'm no quitter!

We also went to the orthodontist for a second opinion. We did this because the first orthodontist was about 97 years old and wanted to make a wooden model of Maddie's teeth. We thought perhaps orthodontia had progressed in the last 50 years this (very nice) older gentleman has been practicing. We were correct and were very happy with the second opinion. Six weeks ago this would have seemed like an astronomical amount to spend on my kid's mouth, but suddenly it seems so cheap. Maddie's just happy this doctor doesn't use head gear.

The Can't Fail New Year's Resolution:

I left the cleaning ladies a note today which said they didn't have to try too hard to get the baked on remnants of a little home brewing accident off the stovetop. Also? YOU COMPLETE ME. Please don't ever leave.

It's such a luxurious thing having someone come to your house every other week to clean your house. I told Logan I would rather eat pasta and black beans three nights a week than give them up. I love them. Making this situation one of my New Year's Resolutions was pretty smart, ingenious really. Next year I'm going to promise to eat Fritos every night of the week and to buy fresh flowers once a week.

Already Twittered, But Here You Go

I don't remember where I first saw this print by Mati Rose McDonough but it struck me as something I wanted to buy. I realized right after I ordered it that this is exactly what my last round of therapy was all about.

Me: "Blah Blah Blah"
Him: "There is nothing wrong with you."
Me: "But, I didn't tell you this. Blah Blah Blah."
Him: "There is nothing wrong with you."
Continue for six months, drop $1500. And still, in spite of yourself, often feel there actually is something wrong with you.

For $25 I'm just going to hang this in our downstairs bath so I can get a friendly reminder that there really is nothing wrong with me. And when we have guests, they'll be washing their hands and see it too.

Hopefully they'll think about themselves for minute with a little more gentleness, "It's true."
Hopefully they will not think, "But Holy Crap there is something wrong with Melissa."

Comments

[bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

I love that print & the fact that you're going to hang it in your bathroom! The only sentiment hanging in a bathroom that I've enjoyed more is one my friend has of a very swashy, stylized, foofy design that when you look closely actually is the 4 letter word starting with 's' and ending with 't'. Unless you really look at it, you'd never notice that it spells out such an appropriate-for-the-location word. You obviously have more class than my friends & I do.
Jules
House of Jules

[srah]

The only problem I foresee with that print is that if you were in the bathroom dealing with any kind of toilet-related health problems and you saw the print you might yell, "OH YEAH, PRINT? WHAT DO YOU KNOW, ANYWAY?" But I suppose if that's the guest bathroom there's less likelihood that you'd be taking care of that sort of business there.

[mosker]

I love that print. If only I could hire someone to walk around with me all day to say it exactly on cue!

[alice]

The only thing that's wrong with Melissa is that there's only one of you, and so you can't be everywhere, spreading (cheap) fun ideas to make us all feel better about ourselves. Such a great print!

[kbow]

What a great post!

[Jenn O]

I used to have a cleaning lady. Then I had this bright idea about teaching my kids about responsibility and hard work. Yada yada. As soon as they're gone I'm getting the cleaning lady back!

[Michelle]

I'm always afraid that if we got a cleaning lady, she would slowly start taking small things, like earrings I never wear, or that Ouija board stashed under the couch.

[Sarah]

I wish there was a way to reset our default faces. Mine goes to "bloody miserable", as do my parents'. The three of us lined up with those expressions do not a pretty picture make.

[empressofdirt]

I took "there is nothing wrong with you" as the starter for the classic boyfriend/girlfriend dumping line: it's not you, it's me. lol. But now that I'm clued in, perhaps you could get one that says, It's not me, it's you. ;-)

[MelissaS]

Michelle, they can take whatever they want as long as I never have to dust 30 sets of blinds ever again.

[Caroline Moore]

That print is perfect.

[Southernbelle]

I know what you mean about your default face. Mine apparently looks like I am mad at the world. I have had people ask me before if I was okay or mad. I don't like it and try to make a concious effort to walk around with a smile on my face. It is VERY hard.

Cleaning ladies rock...my mom is mine!

[Nothing But Bonfires]

A wooden model of her TEETH? Are you kidding? Who is this guy, George Washington?

Still, it would make a nice paperweight when they were done. Maybe an interesting knick-knack on the mantelpiece? "Hey Maddie, what's that above your fireplace?" "Oh, it's just my teeth. Sculpted in wood. You know how it is."

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Is there some way for me to favorite this post? C'mon, technology, get with it.

[ollka]

Wooden teeth! That is so cool! Next time I'm in for my braces appointment, I'll request one. I'll keep it in my pocket and take it out inconspicuously at random times. And maybe point it at people.

[Assertagirl]

I also have one of those faces...if I'm not out-and-out smiling, people think I'm upset or sad or angry. I'm not!

My mom would totally love that print. She often asks, "What is WRONG with me?!"

[Maggie]

Two things:

1. I remember when I was getting braces and my parents took me around to every doctor they could find. They took me to one that said, "AND WE'LL DO GUM LINE CORRECTION SO THAT SHE'LL HAVE AN ATTRACTIVE SMILE WHEN WE'RE FINISHED." Has nothing to do with wooden teeth, but OMG WHO SAYS THAT TO A 10 YEAR OLD? I've hated my smile ever since because my parents? They did not choose the doctor who wanted to correct the gums that I didn't even know where incorrect to begin with.

2. I love that print. I need that print. And the last line of your post had me laugh so loudly that my husband looked over at me and asked what I was laughing at... I hate answering that question because he looks at me as if I've just explained something so mind-numblingly stupid that he must go douche his brain to regain his original state of freshness.

[PunditMom]

I love that print!