Over two hundred viruses cause the common cold. Stop fighting it.

The kids and I created a couple terrariums last week during spring break, I shared them at The Buzz Off this week and you might enjoy that. (It's less of a 'How-To' and more of a 'Go over here and here to find out how to and we just sort of flew by the seat of our pants and did this' Too long for the title field and definitely not SEO'd.)

Spring break is the break where I start to realize if I don't up my income substantially we're going to be staring at each other every single day for three months this summer. And I'm going to be saying, "I don't know why you have to be so mean to him all the time." And, "Just use your words. We don't hit in this family." Until the cats punch me in the face and tell me to call The Supernanny already.

Maybe it will be different this year since we live in Heaven now. But a few weeks of summer camp never hurt anyone. Or so I assume since I never went away to camp. If I was away from home for more than 12 hours I would become increasingly anxious about what was happening there. This is amusing to me now because mainly what was happening at home was my parents ignoring each other or conversely throwing Little Debbie Snack Cakes at each other's heads. So you can clearly see why I wouldn't want to be AWAY from all that. WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL NINE-YEAR-OLD ME??? (Also? 20 bucks says Maddie never goes to camp either because of her own anxiety. Though not about Logan and I throwing snack cakes at each other. We throw hugs and kisses at each other!)

=========================

I've had two things on my mind this week and it's a topic which hasn't come up since the days of MOMS Club. You know when I strangled myself with a jump rope and stabbed myself with a horse tranquilizer during a discussion of breast feeding at a playgroup?

I've found as my kids get older there are less hot buttons to trample on than there are when you're a mother of young kids surrounded by other mothers of young kids. Most of this is due to my highly developed sense of weeding people out.

We had drinks with another couple the other night and she is a librarian. We were talking about books and how there's no reason to finish a bad one, not when there are literally a million more to read. You'll never be able to read them all so cut your losses and move on.

I feel like that about people, if someone irritates you...which really has more to do with you than it has to do with them...move on. Because there are thousands of people out there who will be a better fit, you don't need to waste time on people who annoy you simply by being who they are.

Still there are two things that continue to drive me crazy in some parents I see around school and activities.

The first thing is people who try to pinpoint who gave their kid the flu/cold/strep whatever. This comes in the form of statements like, "Oh....so that's who gave it to us...." Or, "Didn't she realize he was sick? Why did she send him to school? Now my kid's got it!"

This is very similar to another issue I had as the mother of younger children desperately trying to fit in with my local MOMS Club. I wrote about it here.

There are a few things that bother me about this, the first one being the idea that it's so unusual for kids TO GET SICK. They get sick, you're stuck at home with them for a few days and maybe you eat mustard sandwiches because you can't get to the market. But really, this is called "life" and everyone gets sick. If you don't want illness to be a part of your life do yourself a huge favor and do not have kids.

The other thing that bothers me about this is the implication that some kid (or more specifically the kid's mother) purposely gave your kid a virus. That these irresponsible parents were so selfish they sent a sick child to school and now your kid is sick.

The truth is most illnesses are contagious before there are any detectable symptoms in your kid and if I were to keep my kids home from school every time they may have possibly come into contact with a virus or strep or whatever else is going around, my kids would never be in school. In fact they would have been home from November until now and probably wouldn't be able to make it back to school before summer break.

Instead of trying to pinpoint where your kid's illness came from let's use that energy to teach our kids to wash their hands.

The second thing is .... going to have to wait because I just really riled myself up. I think I pulled a muscle.

Comments

[Sara]

I never understand the instinct to blame others for illness. Children get sick and if I kept my daughter away from all the kids with runny noses, we'd never leave the house. I've had parents at preschool apologize, "oh, she probably got sick because of my Johnny," and then it feels awkward.
I like your book/friends comparison -- well said!

[ats2000]

I completely agree about the sickies. I will not send my kids to school with raging fevers, but I'm not above telling my half-sick daughter to cough on the kid on the bus who was ripping up all her stuff.

[The Domestic Goddess]

Amen!
It drives me NUTS when people think you gave it to them. Um hello? People get colds. People get flus. People get viruses. It is nature. Don't assume that just because my kids had a cold one day that the next day your child sneezes and you got it from us. It takes 10 days for a cold to incubate anyways. You didn't get it standing next to us at the bus stop, moron. More that likely you got it from the shopping cart at the grocery store or from someone coughing at the mall.

[*sweetpotatopie*]

Yes, it's not as if one child is solely responsible for spreading a cold or flu virus.

HOWEVER. I DO want to know who failed to recognize (or worse, ignored) the fact that their child had LICE. You know what I'm talkin' about. And yes, I DO want to glare at them and judge them harshly.

Anyone who thinks this is petty of me has never been through a Lice-Fest.

[MelissaS]

Oh no that's my next peeve. But on a totally different side of the coin. I have a problem with people who get all huffy and puffy about their kid being 'Wrongly Accused' of having head lice. And the incredible STIGMA!(!) which will follow them if that happens.

I lived with it and suffered through it and I have compassion for anyone who's found it on their kid's head. God only knows how many people Maddie gave it to because I had no clue what I was looking for (most people don't) and you almost never see a live louse.

There were a few kids in Maddie's class who kept getting it though and that drove me crazy. They'd miss an afternoon of school and were back and I guarantee they didn't get all the nits off their heads. It took me almost a full week to get it all off my kid's head.

In my opinion lice is the same as a virus. (Except in the case of repeat offenders. I check my kid's heads every other day all winter now that I know what I'm looking for.)

[De in D.C.]

Good comment about books/friends. I wish you could do the same with coworkers. I'll click your ads with a bit more vigor to try and help the "get the kids to camp" fund.

[*sweetpotatopie*]

Uh oh...I didn't mean to make you pull a muscle! I was mostly being a smart-ass. Because yes, it IS hell to live through. It took me ONE MONTH to get rid of them, because the kids kept re-infecting each other. As a result I developed a nervous tic AND a drinking problem.

What is with the stigma, anyway? My sister-in-law said, when she found out my daughter had it, "Oh, even MY friends have had their children get it! It's not just poor people!" Somehow that didn't seem all that comforting to me.

Anyway, sorry if I ruined your next post! Carry on! I'll keep my quips to myself.

[ErikaMSN]

I love this: "Most of this is due to my highly developed sense of weeding people out."

We had my daughter's 5th bday party the other day, and really enjoyed ourselves--and were so pleased that many of the parents of her friends seemed to get along w/ each other really well. After it, I said to my husband "isn't it nice that we really like the parents of all her good friends?" And then I realized that we like them b/c, for the most part, we've selected them. Oh well. I suppose as she gets older we won't be so lucky...

[Bonzai]

Shudder - my kids have not had lice...yet. But, as our pediatrician once told us, "Well, take comfort in this fact: lice like clean heads of hair." Basically, if the lice move in, it's BECAUSE you have well-groomed children! How's that for irony?

[lousoz]

2 comments
1. along the same lines, but not really...if you hear of anyone nearby who has the chickpox, can you let me know?

and
2. It has been reported to me by the people at my daughters "school" that a certain city just to the north is no longer treating lice as a public health concern. They no longer send notes home if a student has it because, well, at least one student has it all the way up to the high school level every week. WTF? How are you supposed to know to check your kid if they're not even telling you that someone has it? Nice, huh?

[Peeved Michelle]

I was checking out the parks & rec brochure last week and saw that I could have my kid in day camp every weekday for the entire summer and the weekly cost is about the same as I am paying right now for all-day daycare. (She is 8 mos. old, but I believe in planning ahead.)

[AnneM]

Yeah, I just got the stigma yesterday since my daughter was diagnosed with pneumonia last week - "my gosh, and she was in school until Wednesday!" Well yeah, we didn't find out about the pneumonia until Thursday. Sorry if she coughed on your kid. And then people were asking me if she should have been back in school already - four days of antibiotics and no more coughing, even the pediatrician said it was okay! So I feel your pain and am hoping for warmer weather to kill the cooties.

[mommastantrum]

Send the kids to camp. Maddie will get over the anxiety or throw up on the counselors...either way the fresh air will do her some good.

And lice...suck. I had it three times in grade school. I am glad to know that it likes clean hair...I'll just keep Toddler's hair nasty from now on.LOL...he will get it some time or another, although I have NO IDEA what I am looking for.

Maybe you could give us a tutorial Melissa?

[midwestgrrl]

Oh, if you're talking about one specific mom it's probably a woman I used to work with, who, though single and child-free at the time, was similarly accusatory about who at work had "made her sick." I told her I was going to start French kissing her each morning at work since she assumed all her bugs and colds came from me anyway.

[Allison aka HaselBride]

Adults pull that crap with each other, too, which is just as annoying. "You gave me this cold." Gee, me? Really? And not the other ten people in our office who are ill? Once I have kids, I vow not to be a parent who does that crap. Everyone gets sick; get over it.

This rage and anger could be a remnant from when I got lice in the fourth grade. I was mortified because of the "STIGMA!" as Melissa said and my mom scrubbed and scrubbed our house and tore my hair out to kill the nits. It was miserable.

[Jenn O]

It drives me nuts that people don't realize that you're most contagious BEFORE you have any symptoms. Annoying.

[AmyinMotown]

There is a mom at my daughter's school who carries on as if I attempted murder on my new baby because he got two colds from my daughter and was exposed to the flu (BEFORE WE KNEW HE HAD IT) through my husband. Thanks, I am stressed enough about the situation, making me feel like a crap parent because people I love get exposed to germs REALLY HELPS.

So, um, yeah I agree with you.

[Kellie Mullin]

Kids get sick, some moms just need to take the big girl pill and get over it!

Btw, LOVING the new banner!

[Sonja]

My kids were pretty much sick all last winter with one cold after another--mostly runny noses and such, nothing too serious. Ironically, being a stay-at-home-mom myself, I barely saw my stay-at-home-mom friends because they didn't want me to come over and visit them when my kids were sick. My friends with kids in daycare were like, "A runny nose? Pshaw! Come on over!" I found that the daycare parents were far more easy going. If only they were home during the day....

[Cat & Emily]

Hi, Melissa--

I'm a longtime reader and lurker, who recently started a blog of my own with a friend. I was inspired by your post today, but am not yet familiar with appropriate blog etiquette... I've permalinked to today's post, mentioned your name and your site name, and quoted the particular sentence that inspired me... is there something else you'd like me to do to quote you appropriately? Or something I should UNdo that I've already done? Sorry to bother, I just want to err on the side of blog-caution when it comes to involving others!

Actually, speaking of blog etiquette... I should have emailed this, huh. Well, maybe somebody else in class has this same question and it'll be helpful!

Thanks much for your insight--!

Always-
Em

from catandemily.blogspot.com

[smackdown]

plastic bubble uniforms for everyone. problem solved!

[Chefdruck]

Now I understand why I have such trouble putting down bad books and spend so much time annoyed in friendships that should just slip away. Next step, learning to clear the clutter.

[MisterSnitch]

What the world needs is a virus that CURES the common cold. I'll get right on it. Just let me finish up with my cold-fusion project first and then I'm all yours.