I think the Bad Neighbor is serving my cat for dinner.

Life is awfully slow in the interesting ways around here.

Here's a quick story. There's one neighbor here that nearly everyone hates. Which is refreshing because in our old neighborhood I was the one neighbor everyone hated. When I try to explain why everyone has feelings for this person that range from "FUCK YOU, YOU HORRIBLE WOMAN!!!!"*** on to "Enh, I wish she'd move."

Every time I try to explain this, I fall into a blood pressure raising discussion that spans over 10 years of stories and interactions with this person. She is....awful is too nice a term to use when referring to her. I mean Liver and Onions is, in my opinion, awful. She's more like Head Cheese. Head Cheese is repugnant. It defies explanation. It's something you wish you didn't know existed.

***Clearly I fall into this category.

We've started letting Gary The Cat outside in the new house since we've lived here for nine months now. Not sure why that makes a difference but in my mind he's more committed. Tonight, we let him out and I haven't seen him since. Usually he hangs out by the door and runs inside the minute I open it. Also, coincidentally (or not) I noticed the husband of the neighbor I like to think of as Head Cheese out rolling around a heavy wheelbarrow.

Now if Gary comes back tonight I'll probably think this was a stupid thing to think. But I think Husband of Head Cheese had Gary, knocked unconscious,  in his wheelbarrow and they're currently burying him in their trash cans for the Friday pick up.

I'll keep you posted.

In less bad energy inducing news, I wrote about Mother's Day Giveaways at The Buzz Off. You could win stuff and telling you about it lessens my chances of winning so maybe I just earned back my karma.

Probably not.

Also Maggie closed out the Mother's Day Gift guide at Mighty Goods and Mighty Junior. We combined our efforts (meaning I contributed three gifts to the guide and Maggie did the other stuff). Considering that my siblings and I are buying my mother a privacy fence for her back yard (as a Mother's Day + 60th birthday gift) this makes a lot of sense. For Christmas we bought her a new stove.

We're very thoughtful as a family. Actually the members of our family who do not share DNA with us are thoughtful. Actually, everyone in our family who is not me is very thoughtful. I did give you that Giveaway link and that gives you access to my new favorite source for dresses. So I am thoughtful....in a way. Too bad my brother can't exactly use that link.

Comments

[Christy Cegelski]

We have a woman like that on our street too...maybe it's a midwestern thing. Every street has to have one or something? :)

[bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

Comparing people to food is genius. I totally know how awful your neighbor is because my best friend worked in a grocery store deli when we were in high school, and let me tell you, that head cheese was some unspeakable stuff.

Had you compared your neighbor to the even worse "blood sausage", I'd be suggesting you call the authorities on report your neighbors for catnapping ASAP.
Jules
House of Jules

[Goingape]

Aw, man, I really hope Gary the Cat comes back. The thought of that huge man-kitty being held kitty captive makes me really sad. If anything happens, there's a big fat black cat named Pippin sitting next to me on the couch. He says, "I know some people."

[joanne]

I think I'm the hated neighbor. Well to the 3 houses adjacent to me. I don't like trash in the street, and dog poop on my lawn. I've taken their kids to task for littering, and even put their dog poop in cookie gift bags with notes on their cars. One I can't get rid of as she owns the home and has lived there for 20 years. The other two are renters. Last time a renter moved out, I got new neighbors moving in the same day as the old renters moved out! I call them the Hillbilly Clampetts. They've changed their ways.

[Suze]

I think every street has a hated neighbour - I don't know who ours is, probably me, but since I don't really talk to my neighbours that much, I can't be sure.
Hope Gary returns unscathed and has just been trawling for chicks, rather than being served for dinner.

[Suze]

I think every street has a hated neighbour - I don't know who ours is, probably me, but since I don't really talk to my neighbours that much, I can't be sure.
Hope Gary returns unscathed and has just been trawling for chicks, rather than being served for dinner.

http://dailyfrippery.com

[Carmi]

I think we've all crossed paths with the Neighbor From Hell, and we all smile just a little as we muse about these people who view the world from their porch just a little differently than the rest of us.

Our neighborhood curmudgeon lived right across the street from us. When she wasn't sitting on her balcony with a scowl on her face, she was hiding behind her bedroom blinds. Also with a smile on her face.

If a ball accidentally meandered its way down to her garage door (the driveway sloped down, so it happened often), the door often came up, a hand came out, grabbed the ball, pulled it inside and then smalled it shut. To this day, we muse about the tennis ball collection she must have had.

We moved far away and she receded into the past. I heard she passed away a few years ago and her long-suffering husband - the mind boggles when it thinks about being married to such a shrew - isn't aging well. I hope she found tenderness in her later years.

[Lisa]

I can't believe I feel compelled to reply to your slurs on the reputation of liver and onions and head cheese but...there it is and I'm doing it.

In my opinion liver and onions, especially fresh liver and new field onions with fried apples in season is firm, rich and sublimely satisfying. Head cheese, especially German-made head cheese, is crunchy and fantastic. Methinks you need to be introduced to people who make these dishes correctly.

Now if you want to talk awful, awful enough to compare it to a neighbor you can't stand - and I've got one of those living right next door to me so I feel you - joyfully reaching into a bag of your favorite potato chips and popping one in your mouth that tastes like someone on the belt had a case of the revenges and wiped their nether regions on it... *that* is truly awful.

Who knew it took an hour and a bottle of mouthwash to get that taste out? Which is a deal considering how long it'll take to get over the residual annoyance of a bad neighbor.

Hope all is well with your cat.

[jck]

I'm having neighbor issues myself right now. What it comes down to is the entire family has a tremendous sense of entitlement. Entire family - the grandmother that doesn't even live there, the mother, the kids. Ugh.

Hope Gary the cat is back soon.

[Marian]

Any updates on the cat?