Suburban Bliss:: Birth Control Via The Written Word

Forbidden Photo #4

Exotic toppings at the Frozen Yogurt place.

Gummy Bears?
Crushed Oreos?
THE TRADE SECRETS ARE MINE!

I've said it before, I enjoy beating dead horses. I'm almost done.

Restorative Trucks.

Hank likes to watch a show his parents swear is called "Trucks" but through my ears....it sounds less innocent.

The day after Blogher finished Hank snuggled up with his mom to watch (so called) "Trucks" and drink a bottle. I like to think the entire week after Blogher where I slept a lot was my version of cuddling with my mom in my favorite blanket while watching Trucks and drinking a bottle of milk.

Blogher was really great for me this year. A very close second to the first year that blew my mind.

I'll candidly admit that my second trip to Blogher was a little weird. I don't know what happened exactly, I spent time with my friends and met quite a few new people I still really like that year, but I walked away feeling a little terrified. Also very sleepy.

This time I knew what I wanted from this conference. I wanted to meet a list of about 20 people and a few extras I didn't know I wanted to meet until I met them.

I also wanted to spend time with my favorite people, meet one of my favorite people's husband, meet new people I'm awfully fond of, spend a little time with newly favorite people (but luckily I get to see them again this fall in Chicago), attended the launch party for a new site I'm thrilled to be a part of, acted as professional fluffer at said party, only not in that way. More in the sense that I fluffed about 30 paper floofs we decorated with. I also participated in a panel for the first time and managed to not cry even once.

I don't know what made the difference this year as opposed to the second year.

There was drama both years, but maybe with 1000 attendees to absorb the drama I didn't feel very much of it. I also knew exactly what I wanted from this conference and if that meant walking around by myself and missing a couple meals with my friends, it was worth it for my state of mind.

I would do a big list of everyone I met and talked to and liked a lot but you know how those things go. (Badly.)

Just know that, just like I said (or at least thought....nerves....) on our panel, after 5+ years of doing this website, I still keep growing my community and that is worth more than I ever thought it could be.

Forbidden Photo #3

oooh! A white table, with white cushions.....I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!

Other Places: Am finally feeling the summer burn.

Boy today is not going how I'd like.

I did manage to get my Buzz Off column completed on time (for the first time...in a couple of weeks). (Nice.)

Maddie and I made paper bead necklaces yesterday and I showed you how to do it too.

August is almost here. Once I throw that 40th birthday party, get the family ready for camping and clean up my kitchen....I might feel like I can accomplish something outside of my wifely duties again.

Forbidden Photo #2

   

The amusing thing about this series of photos is the part where I could have been advertising their nice establishment. But instead, I'm stealing their trade secrets: Beautiful light + White on white + Frozen yogurt

I miss wearing a scarf.

I took this picture and a few others I'm going to share at a frozen yogurt place. The manager asked me to stop taking pictures because they have problems with designers stealing their ideas.

Their radical white on white decor and frozen yogurt with various toppings ideas.

Hmmmmm.....

Hank and Esme

This year our Blogher festivities included Antonia from Whoopee. She is from London and on Sunday Antonia's husband Ian flew in with their little girl Esme to join her for an extended holiday in the states.

We all met up for breakfast and Hank and Esme hit it off being so ridiculously cute and toddler-like I suddenly forgot I hate baby-hood and enjoy this part of my life as a parent a lot more. Since then I have had a dream each night I'm pregnant and happy about it.

Thanks a lot Hank and Esme.

The babies sat next to each other sharing toys and bits of toast. They also talked to each other and babbled back and forth. But sometimes it seems they had trouble understanding one another.

"I can't understand your accent..."

When the the little ones got out of their chairs they toddled around the table and gave each other hugs and kisses I died. I'm dead right now. I hope they're happy.

Update: Oh My God. They brought me back to life just to do this to me.

Rainbows

On Monday before I took the red eye home we walked around North Beach. These were leather samples for custom made shoes. I'd like something in a puce.

Other Places: The I Took The Red Eye Home & Have Been Asleep Since Edition

For the second week in a row, I'm late with my Buzz Off post. I collected five of my favorite outdoor birthday party themes to get you lucky people with summer birthdays to celebrate some inspiration. While researching I found a lot more birthday party inspiration so watch for that post in another month.

Speaking of parties, Maggie and her amazing husband Bryan pulled off a wonderful party to celebrate the launch of our new site Mighty Haus. If I met you there, Hello! Wasn't that fun!? (You can see Maggie's pictures here.)

Tuesday at Mighty Haus I closed out the 50 problem solvers under $50 feature we launched with.

I was also a guest editor at Mighty Goods last week and it's probably a good thing I don't write for that site because I've never been so tempted to buy everything I linked to.

Maggie took over at Mighty Junior and I closed out her 15 Must-Haves For Traveling With Babies and Toddlers feature yesterday as well.

Now that that's all done, I could really use a nap.

Delicious Cookies

I gave Logan a blow job for our 11th anniversary.

He gave me something thoughtful.

Here's a weird story. Years ago when Maddie was a baby I started taking knitting classes and learned to (very slowly) knit sweaters. A woman named Anne was in my class and invited me to her playgroup. I never quite felt cool enough to hang out with her and let the friendship fizzle.

A few years later, Logan started a new job and Anne's husband worked there as well.

About a year ago Anne opened a bakery called Pinwheel Bakery in Ferndale, Michigan.

Recently the bakery landed a lunch provider gig at our husband's office. She sold these heart tattoo cookies for Mother's Day with Mom inscribed on them.

Logan was too late to order the Mother's Day version for me so on our anniversary we stopped in and he picked up a special order.

A blow job is a thoughtful gift too. Right?

Aloe Vera

This plant is gone. It survived a lot of abuse, but the cats rubbing against it and knocking it out of the container spilling dirt all over. This finally proved too much for me to bear.

Corn Hole

Number 3 on the list of things I'm really bad at and like anyway.

Rocks

A lot of Michigan beaches are full of rocks. I think this is why Crocs were invented. I apologize.

Maddie

Detroit, San Francisco and other places.

Detroit and San Francisco have one thing in common.

No, not progressive thinking and social activism.

Both cities have made it illegal to talk on the phone and drive. Which is nice because everything else is totally legal in the city of Detroit. (Rim-Shot!)

I forgot to link you last week to my piece about 10 Fun Things For Your Block Party and today (a day late! Because I rule at pre-trip planning!) a piece about Keeping In Touch With Your Camper.

Isabel Kallman, founder of Alpha Mom, is also a featured editor at Kirtsy this week. You should look.

I know I'm bombarding you with links but I just need to tell you about these things going on. The Mighty Haus 50 problem solvers for under $50 is putting up 10 new problem solvers every day this week so if you've got a problem (that can be solved with a gadget) go look.

At Mighty Junior Maggie is taking over the reigns with 15 must-haves for traveling with kids. On Monday I forgot to mention I closed out Gabrielle from Design Mom's guest editor picks. They were, as expected, perfect.

Open Bottle Here

Logan's favorite thing about living here is going using this bottle opener he installed on the corner of the garage.

Hauswarming

Yesterday at this time I was in the airport parking lot waiting for a shuttle, for 45 minutes, and today I am in San Francisco writing this post while the amazing Hank Mason yells something the Mason's claim is "Truck!" but it sounds a lot like another word. A word people in Detroit tend to yell when they're upset. But in San Francisco it's what 17-Month-Olds yell when they want to watch a movie about "trucks".

Okay San Francisco whatever you say.

Also today, as opposed to yesterday, I'm writing a new website! It's called Mighty Haus and you will love it.

"Mighty Haus is a design and shopping blog for people who like to nest. We look for objects that solve problems and make your life lovely all at once."

Our first big feature is 50 Problem Solvers Under $50, and if you have a problem I think you're going to find something to help you solve it.

Okay, a problem in your home.

Thank You Detroit.

This is me, totally kicking everyone's ass at Guitar Hero.

Study Finds Kids Don't Want Healthcare.

Shocking news!

Thanks Laura

Boating in the gutter.

Rain Gutter Regatta. Yes, there is such a thing.

My motto is: "Just keep swimming."

Maddie: "My friend has a motto, 'Live Fast, Die Hard'"

Me: "Wow, that's pretty intense for a nine-year-old."

Maddie: "Well, she's actually ten."

Quiver.

A quiver of arrows. Also, here's another Quiver you should check out if you like crime fiction.

Other Places The Summer Fun Edition.

As you might imagine, I am fond of children being outside during the summer. With that in mind we made a  Go Play Outside! Backyard Guide over at Mighty Junior. I found really fun things to keep your kids out in the backyard for at least one magazine's worth of reading.

Also this week at Mighty Junior Gabrielle from Design Mom and Kirtsy is guest editing. I send my friend Maggie links all the time of things I come across that blow my mind and about 8 out of 10 times they're things I saw at Design Mom. She's good. You should come see what she's sharing.

I'm a little behind in sharing what I've been buzzing about at The Buzz Off. Last week in an effort to make our upcoming August camping jaunt a little better than that horrible other one from May, I shared my bookmark folder full of helpful camping with kids tips. Making Camping With Kids Easier.

Today I gave you 10 Great Activities For Block Parties. I left out tip #11, "Drink Safely Because There Will Be Men Around", because I'm growing up. Well, except for the part where I just did it anyway. Oh well!

In other news I have a conference call tonight. I am looking forward to this conference call about as much as I am looking forward to going to the doctor Friday to find out if I have Celiac's disease and will never again be able to drink beer.  By this I mean, I'm not looking forward to talking on the phone.

However I am excited about the reason for the call. I'm talking with Maggie Mason, Evany Thomas and Sarah Brown about our upcoming panel at Blogher next week. (This summer is going fast. Can you believe I just typed that?)

Our session is called Pursuing Your Passion Never Gets Old. It's about finding love as a old person. I'll be speaking about how my grandfather had a penis implant some time in the 70's and it inflated.

I know you'd all like to be there to hear about that but this session will be wildly popular so I don't think there will be enough room for all of you. Just do your best.

No actually it's about adjusting your blaaaaging to suit you as you grow and change so you don't get sick of it. It's about how to avoid writing about your dead grandfather's penile implant over and over again because you're out of material.

It seems I'll be the "don't" of the group.

Vegetables On The Grill.

We had friends over for dinner the other night. Laura is a chef and made a big batch of grilled vegetables. I'm going to recommend you make yourself a friend who's a chef.

Neighborhood BBQ

This is Evan. He also goes by Little Dale because he looks remarkably like our neighbor, Dale.

Feeling incredibly smug.

Since school Maddie's been waking up at 7:00am sharp each morning.

She was waking up at this hour even though it's summer and all we have in this house is time. Time to fill. If you wake up at 7:00am sharp, that means there are about 14 hours of daylight to burn each day. If you sleep until 8:00am or even, Heaven forbid, 9:00am you've reduced the number of hours you spend potentially bored out of your mind with your smart ass mother suggesting you clean your room if you're so bored.

We both win in this scenario.

One morning, I happened to be awake early and heard an alarm clock going off at 7:00am sharp and watched as Maddie stumbled out of her room and down the stairs, seemingly still asleep.

She was setting her alarm clock to maximize the number of hours she can spend making me TOTALLY INSANE.

I tried to explain that only robots, like her dad, use alarm clocks. Normal people try to sleep as much as they possibly can. Why don't we turn your alarm clock off until school starts back up?

"I just like to get a start on the computer before Max gets up."

Uh, yeah?
No.

A week ago I went into check on her before I went to bed. I grabbed her alarm and secretly turned it off.

The next morning she slept until 8:45am.

"It's weird, my alarm didn't go off."

"Huh. That's weird."

And every morning since then her alarm keeps malfunctioning. And she's sleeping until 8:00 or even, 9:00.

Weird.

It takes a village.

Caroline knows every state. Here I am pointing out the state two states above where Obama comes from. Since her mom is a Republican.

Last night, while I couldn't sleep.

I was thinking about how I can't control my face in front of cameras.

And how, although I think I look pretty much like this, in my mind's eye at least.

I usually end up looking almost exactly like this whenever a camera is pointed at me.

Gee, I can't wait to see what pictures come out of Blogher.

Bottles for capping

I'm trying to remain enthusiastic about this hobby. Some days are harder than others.

Family Rules

Three simple steps to not losing your God Damned Computer Time. Logan and I are especially good at following the rules since our jobs require computer time.

Babysitter Etiquette.

First of all, Hey! We made it through the first half a month of summer vacation and I didn't scream or threaten to dip anyone in chocolate or send them to all-year boarding school. Only two more months to go!

Second, I have a question. I'm full of questions lately. Max has a friend around the block and his parents work out of the house so they have a sitter three days a week. They invited Max over to play yesterday and I sent him over for a couple of hours. I know they play together really well, so it doesn't make extra work for the sitter. It might even make her job easier. I know that having that particular friend over to our house makes my life easier.

As an aside, I tried to express to this kid's mother what a great kid her son is. How I think he's so sweet and really funny and personable for a seven year old. I went on to mention his freckles and toothless grin and his great easy going attitude. Then, all the sudden, I felt a little creepy because I was actually gushing about her kid.

The usual rules of "Play Date" require reciprocation, yesterday Max played at his pal's house so it would normally follow that his friend would play over here the next time.

But how does that work? They're paying for a sitter, is it weird for the kid not to be home? Then, on the other hand, if the kid is home is it fair for all their play dates to have my kid added to her responsibilities?

As a final question. The most important one. When is it appropriate for me to steal the sitter?