I'd rather write you something succinct and intelligible but this will have to do.
The kids are still trying to kill me. Unfortunately Max's attempts at killing me have become a lot less pleasant than the usual, "Kids? Aren't they little shit heads half the time!?" Something isn't quite right with my usually easy going dude. I don't know if any of you remember when Max was two and three when I started this website. But Max was a little terror. A demon.
He threw up on me in the middle of tantrums, he threw fits in the grocery store making me leave a full cart in the aisle and run for cover, he was constipated and I think some core part of him believed he was constipated because of me and I had to pay.
But in the last three or four years those tantrums have mostly disappeared. But in the last few months they've come back into our lives and I feel a lot of the time like I'm being held hostage by Max's intense mood and inability to stop making this horrible sound with his mouth that goes a little like this:
"AAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHH"
Some of my proudest parenting moments occur when he's making this horrible sound with his mouth.
Like the day last week when his cheap crappy plastic toy from the dentist was broken, for two minutes, until I parked the car, picked up the piece and snapped it back together. The toy was fixed, but his mouth wouldn't stop making that noise. With tears and crying. Crying, hey I can handle a good cry. Sometimes I poke myself in the eye to have a good cry. I like to cry. I understand the outlet.
But this noise he makes with his mouth. It's enough to make me rip my uterus out of my body and stuff it in his mouth.
Okay, that was disturbing and reading that sentence made me gasp with the violence of it all. But MY GOD the stupid noise that comes out of his mouth during these fits. It's just that bad.
So I thought I'd shame him into stopping that noise coming from his mouth by continuing into the store so we could buy a birthday present for a party Maddie was attending that afternoon. I thought, perhaps as a seven-year-old he'd get to the door of Target and realize, "Holy Shit I'm acting like a two year old."
But he didn't. He was still very upset about his toy breaking (and being put together two minutes later) (also, he later claimed he was upset about the cavities the dentist found in his mouth) and couldn't stop crying. He also couldn't stop making that horrific noise come out of his mouth.
He out lasted me in our little game of chicken and even though he didn't care if he walked around the store sounding like a two year old the shame of having a seven year old acting like a bleating goat (thank you, Heather) was too much for me to publicly bear.
We went back to the car empty handed and Oh Boy, this is where I win The Summer Parenting Pageant of 2008. I was pretty angry that we couldn't go into a store because of my son's tantrum. We're past that, remember how I'm better at parenting now that they're older? And how I don't lose my patience very often anymore?
It turns out I don't lose it as often because the kids don't lose it as often. Because I haven't really changed at all. That's reassuring isn't it?
So we're driving home and for the first half a mile I'm willing myself to not hear the "AAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHHHH AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" coming out of Max's mouth. For the second half a mile I try reasoning with him, "Look Max, I know you're upset and I that's okay but please, please, I'm begging you. Please just cry with your mouth closed. Just shut your mouth and cry like that. Okay?"
For the next half a mile I willed myself with all my strength not to drive us into a tree. You'd think my sense of survival would kick in and I'd realize I wouldn't be hearing the noise anymore but then we'd all be dead and that's not ideal. But you have no idea how horrible the noise was. How badly I wanted to get away from it. How hard it was not to throw the car off the road into a slightly wooded park with lots of trees.
Since my survival techniques weren't working I pulled into a parking lot, left the a/c on (though, that would have been another way to stop the noise) and stood outside the car giving myself a time out.
It was like 2003 all over again.
Had it been a one time thing I would have told you this story as a funny little "Oh Dear! Max was tired!" type of thing.
But this is something we've been dealing with for the last few months starting when he hated Day Camp so much he kept the entire neighborhood awake for a couple of hours screaming about it. He had to leave the swim club because of a freak-out, we have to see a specialist to have his fillings done because he lost it at the dentist office, the whole family has laid awake waiting for the wave of fury to pass over the kid so we could all go to sleep.
It's gotten to the point that Logan and I are spending twenty to thirty minutes each night discussing what the hell could possibly be wrong with him.
I spend time thinking maybe I've really done a terrible job raising my kids. Maybe I created a monster and he can't deal with even the smallest disappointments with any grace at all.
But he could....I remember a time when we weren't prisoners of Max and the noise he makes with his mouth and his inability to get a hold of himself. He was normal and one might even say easy going.
My gut tells me something is wrong. He hasn't wanted to play with his buddies from school, he hasn't been his goofy self as often. We went camping this weekend and he usually would have been running around with a pack of kids from school, enjoying the freedom. Instead he seemed a little lost and a little sad.
But I don't see anything physically wrong with him, I only have a "gut feeling". We're supposed to trust those feelings, I know.
Years ago Maddie lost her mind for a few weeks. She acted like a psychotic little girl throwing her favorite stuffed animal in the toilet and then crying saying she didn't know why she did it. She unloaded salt and pepper on tables at restaurants and threw her body around in flailing tantrums in public.
I described her behavior to friends and they said, "Sounds like she's having late Terrible Twos." Or "Oh, that sounds like how my kid acts all the time! Ha!" Or the best, her preschool teacher suggested I tell Maddie to talk to God and ask Him to help her stop throwing her Teddy Bear in the toilet.
Which was a nice idea and all and I am Pro-God for sure. My gut was telling me something was wrong but I couldn't see anything physically wrong with her.
It turned out she had a hidden sinus infection through everyone of her sinuses. We only found it because she'd had an MRI to help us understand her overall low muscle tone.
I've put off seeing the pediatrician because I can't face the possibility that there's nothing physically wrong with him that's causing this. And I doubt the doctor will do an MRI just to find out if there's something making him act like a psychopath like his sister did years ago.
Although I bet she would if Max started making that terrible sound with his mouth while he's in the office.

Oh, Bless you! My 20 month old is now starting to blur these noises together when she's tired, disgruntled, disoriented, discumbobulated, etc. I've started to expect this noise that can't be spelled and have tried to figure out ways to extinguish it before it starts, but have failed every time. Driving the car into a tree seems a little extreme, but give me a couple of weeks. That may start to look realistic.
Posted by: Sprite's Keeper | 2008.08.12 at 11:13 AM
Wow, that sounds really hard to deal with. Not having kids yet myself, I have no assvice. But maybe, trust your instincts.
Good luck. I hope it's just a (really short) phase!!!!!
Posted by: Pam | 2008.08.12 at 11:35 AM
Please, call your pediatrian. From all that you've written, he's a great little guy. If its not normal to you - it's not right.
Posted by: pharmgirl | 2008.08.12 at 11:36 AM
Call the pediatrician. Trust your instincts. He sounds like he's in distress, and you know him best. Go with your gut and demand an MRI and a workup. Trust me.
Hugs to you and your family. Oh, and a martini for you!
Shash
Posted by: Shash | 2008.08.12 at 11:45 AM
You're right - you have good instincts. Call your pediatrician and don't take "it's nothing" for an answer!
Posted by: The Other Laura | 2008.08.12 at 11:52 AM
Trust yourself. You know something's wrong. You know. It would be great if it just stopped happening, but he may need some help to get there. You can do it!
Posted by: ccr in MA | 2008.08.12 at 11:55 AM
You know your kids better than anyone else and you know what is "normal" for them. Call the pediatrician and explain. If you have a good pediatrician, they'll take you seriously and will be understanding and investigate. If they don't take you seriously, then find another pediatrician. And in the meantime, while you're getting to the bottom of it: don't panic and don't worry. I realize, even though I don't know you personally, that's about as rational and likely to happen as me telling the sun not to shine, but try not to stress about it. The actual answer/diagnosis/solution is usually much simpler, less scary and easier to deal with than the possibilities that exist in our imaginations. Max sounds like a great little kiddo and you, Melissa, are a good mom. We've all wanted to rip our uterus out before. Anybody that says otherwise is a liar.
Posted by: Lara | 2008.08.12 at 12:04 PM
Oh my god, my son cries just like that. He is five. We call it the donkey bray and when we're not too crazy-frustrated, we laugh. That is, when we're not sending him to his room to "bray by yourself."
Posted by: Lindsey | 2008.08.12 at 12:13 PM
I'm impressed that a) you tried to reason with him in the car and b) you gave yourself a time-out. Lately I've been - not so good at remembering that I'm an actual adult. Flying off the handle is my new secret talent.
I hope you find answers soon.
Posted by: Sue | 2008.08.12 at 12:13 PM
I have to commend you on stepping out of the car. I can see me in this situation - I know I would have pulled over and did a major freak out and felt like spanking him. (I also have a seven and five year old, so I know frustration)Not that that would have been the best way to handle it.
So I think you did the right thing. I would have handled it way worse. In my house it's the whining that drives me bonkers.
There does sound like something off with him though. Best of luck.
Posted by: Marcie | 2008.08.12 at 12:24 PM
I'm a new reader, so you won't recognize my name, but I just wanted you to know that I love your writing, think you are funny and insightful, spot-on much of the time and will be back to read more.
I'm also pretty sure you haven't been raising monsters or parenting badly, although this is merely a gut call on my part.
And speaking of my gut, I have a few reserved curse words for people who say things that make us check our intuition. We know. It might be a big thing or a small thing or a silly thing at the root, but at the end of the day, we know when our kids are not themselves.
Go with that, until your gut has been quieted. If your intuition is off...eh, it won't be the end of the world.
Kim
Posted by: The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet | 2008.08.12 at 12:30 PM
Oh Melissa,
Thank you for having the courage to write this. Parenting is so fucking hard, more so when something is wrong (as opposed to them just being little shitheads.) You aren't alone, and you aren't a bad parent.
Have you considered a food allergy? That can trigger the exact behavior you're describing, the mood swings and irrational crying.
Whatever it is, I hope you get it figured out soon.
Posted by: kate | 2008.08.12 at 12:31 PM
Although I only met them briefly, I remember being impressed with how well-mannered and polite Max and Maddie were: really, really good kids. I know that doesn't help with the AAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH noise in Target, but it definitely goes to show that you raised them right.
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | 2008.08.12 at 12:40 PM
The terrible sounds my kids can make nearly kill me, too. I fully relate to the 'ripping out the uterus' feeling. Totally.
I have no great words of wisdom. My kids are 11 and 10. It does certainly sound like there's something more going on with him. That mommy instinct is powerful, and it's rarely wrong.
Posted by: califmom | 2008.08.12 at 12:42 PM
I'm with the others and agree a trip to the doctor is in order.
My youngest has epilepsy (or "a seizure disorder" if you want it to sound better) and the medication he started taking after the first one stopped working works great...except that it sort of caused what you're talking about. Things that might just warrant a frowny face precipitated a half hour or so screaming, crying, writhing fit (on really good days complete with drool). Thank heavens he wasn't school age yet.
But anyways, this has a good ending. Turns out that Vitamin B6 works peachy keen to give him back his ability to take the slings and arrows of life. And even if that isn't what's doing it? You can bet your /insert prized possession or body part here/ that we'll be serving crushed B6 in yogurt until he stops taking the meds or moves out.
Here's hoping they find a similarly easy fix for you all.
Posted by: Jen | 2008.08.12 at 12:44 PM
I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds awful.
Posted by: Peeved Michelle | 2008.08.12 at 12:47 PM
You're a great mom. Trust your gut.
Posted by: Lisa | 2008.08.12 at 12:57 PM
I know it doesn't help with anything, but I wanted you to know I got to the paragraph about giving yourself a time out and I just sat here for a minute thinking about that. I'm sure I would have been yelling at my kid, losing my shit in the car, not pulling over and taking myself out of the situation until I could control myself. You are awesome, and I'm grateful you wrote about this whole thing.
Posted by: Sundry | 2008.08.12 at 01:01 PM
You are a much better parent than I would ever be, I'd have driven the car into the tree. I can't handle crying at all. Hopefully if there is something actually wrong with him and he's not just doing it for attention you'll get it solved. Good luck.
Posted by: Dianna | 2008.08.12 at 01:04 PM
First, I am with the 'see the pediatrician' crowd. Absolutely go with your gut. Second, my infinitely patient husband taught me that I should not be ashamed of having a kid misbehave in public, because who gives a shit what people think, and every kid does it sometime. It is okay, though, to realize, this trip is not working out and will have to be rescheduled. That's just the way it is sometimes. Realizing that helped me step back and not take it as a personal attack on myself when my kids were upset or confused or scared or just being bratty.
Posted by: Middle-Aged-Woman | 2008.08.12 at 01:28 PM
sounds like you've hit a rough patch. My now 12 year old when he was 9 was headed in the same direction your Max seems to be. It was frustrating and was wearing us both out. Fortunately a friend suggested we see a bio-energetic practitioner (she treats with all natural products and homeopathics instead of drugs) in the Grand Rapids (MI) area. It has changed my son into a delightful "man-child". All the behaviors that drove me crazy...the wiggles, the nervous bouncing, the easy to anger/tears, stuff has all but vanished and what is left is this boy with a great sense of humor, rising self esteem, better grades, better social skills etc.... It has been a win for everyone around him. He just needed some detox, to have is adrenals and thyroid adjusted and now we keep him on some bush flower essence drops periodically to keep his emotions and hormones balanced. I think his teen years will be some of the easiest to handle compared to what we went through before.
We had such good results that when she needed a new office manager, I applied for the position and have been in her office for two years now. I have seen some amazing things happen for people in the last 2 years. It is so fun to see people, but especially kids, start to feel good again.
If you want info about her just shoot me an email and I will get it to you. I know that it would be a little bit of a drive for you, but I think it would be worth it.
Posted by: delurking | 2008.08.12 at 01:31 PM
Eesh. Thank you for writing this, and for not shying away from the messier parts of parenting. I can completely understand not wanting to 'give up' the possibility of a physical ailment, but given that you wrote it here, it sounds like your gut knows what to do.
Posted by: alice | 2008.08.12 at 01:35 PM
Someone already mentioned a food allergy...
I know a five year old who has been a holy terror much of his life. Nobody could ever figure out the nature of his psychosis. He has nonsensical meltdowns constantly, the kind he should have outgrown awhile ago, much like you've described with Max. Recently I was reading about children having reactions to some of the dyes being used in foods (juice, fruit snacks, you name it). Basically, some kids are hyper sensitive to these dyes and one of the resulting symptoms can be severe behavioral disturbances. Needless to say, said 5 year old is on a strict No Dye diet and his behavior is much improved.
Good luck pinpointing what's going on with Max, hopefully it's something that can be easily solved.
Posted by: Jessica Pesci | 2008.08.12 at 01:59 PM
Do you think he was totally up front with you about why he hated summer camp? Seems like something there really threw him off...
I really hope this works out for everyone. Good luck, and like everyone else said, trust your gut.
Posted by: Kate | 2008.08.12 at 02:13 PM
You are a great mom. You give me hope that even when my children are rotten little beasts, I'll be able to handle it. I so appreciate your honesty.
I totally agree with everyone that has said "trust your instincts." You know your child better than anyone else, and if you think something is wrong, it is.
I really hope things get better soon.
Posted by: Elizabeth | 2008.08.12 at 02:36 PM
I think your pediatrician would be a good one to talk to. Who knows what goes on in their little minds and why. Even at an older age they can't explain everything. Hell, even at my age I can't.
Good for you for keeping you cool.
Posted by: Kari | 2008.08.12 at 02:46 PM
Ah yes. Tantrums. I do remember them well.
My daughter who is now 22 (and yes sometimes she still acts like she's 10) was the queen.
Unfortunately for her (and me)her diagnosis was not physical but psychological as she was diagnosed with severe depression and bi-polar tendencies.
Now I'm not saying that's what's wrong with Max. I hope it's not.
Do you think something happened to him at camp? Maybe some kids played a mean joke on him or something? As you know what is no big deal to us is a HUGE deal to them.
Since his behavior changed after camp that would be my guess. But it's just a guess.
Definitely go with your gut. Go to your pediatrician. You never know what could be going on that you can't see.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Posted by: ella | 2008.08.12 at 02:48 PM
doctor. now. go.
Posted by: zeghsy | 2008.08.12 at 02:58 PM
You are a good Momma. You realize something is amiss, and you know there are steps you can take to discover the root of the problem. That's the best thing you can do for you little guy (in my opinion).
I have a son who is allergic to red food coloring. We went thru batteries of tests looking for a reason for his Corn-holio behavior. Now, we just avoid it and I have my sweet boy back.
I'm sending you hugs and hope you find a solution that helps your son.
Posted by: Adriane | 2008.08.12 at 03:21 PM
My 8-year-old makes a noise like a dying seal. It.drives.me.crazy. Great idea to give yourself a time out. I usually just lose my ever-lovin' mind and scream. A lot.
Sending happy thoughts your way!
Posted by: Kate | 2008.08.12 at 03:25 PM
I have a daughter that can raise holy hell until we realize she has –yet another– sinus infection. I completely understand the "Oh my god what if this is his new personality?!" scenario, but you know him best. (Our pediatrician can tell Sweetie's all infected even without the MRI.)
CALL!
Posted by: a different kate | 2008.08.12 at 04:16 PM
Thank you for this. Just last night, I told my husband how concerned I am about the behavior that our 17-month old is exhibiting. Part of me thinks it's just the normal behavior for this age, the other part of me worries. I will be calling my pediatrician and telling him that I have feeling, as her mother, that something is not right. If it's behavioral and we can nip it in the bud, great, if it's physical, let's fix it, if it's just this age...then I'm stocking up on advil, alcohol, and earplugs. No one has any patience they care spare, do they?
Posted by: Audrey | 2008.08.12 at 05:02 PM
Geez, I have nothing helpful to add except this: you have a huge (some would say world wide) support group here hoping that everything gets better real soon.
And trust your instincts.
And I'm borrowing the parking lot time out idea.
Posted by: bgirl | 2008.08.12 at 05:45 PM
Trust your instincts! Take him to the doctor. You know your kids.
Posted by: MelissaSfromGA | 2008.08.12 at 06:01 PM
So, maybe you can tell me why my 3 year old has turned evil since my 5 year old started kindergarten? Otherwise, I'll have to continue with the thought of eating my arms to keep from spanking him every 30 seconds.....
Good luck! You inspire me! I did the self-imposed time-out but I had to wait on my husband to come home, lest my 2 boys tear stuff off the walls and climb in the pantry if I forgot to lock it or some other equally tormenting act. Time out, sometimes it's them, sometimes it is most definitely me!
Posted by: Jerri Ann | 2008.08.12 at 06:41 PM
I just started reading you recently, and really enjoy your writing and perspective. Even though I am reiterating much that has already been said, I'm going to say it anyway:
1. Self-imposed time out is something I need to do more of, big time.
2. We are going through a super whiny/emotional stage with our 5yr old son. It seems in some ways to be similar - mostly because of the horrific noises!
3. I agree with those that say talk to the Doc. You do know Max best and it can't hurt, right?
Good luck and don't beat yourself up!
Posted by: Dana in RI | 2008.08.12 at 09:09 PM
I hate to even think this, but do you think something bad might have happened at camp? Things just don't sound right with him.
I'm so hoping for a food allergy...
Posted by: Becky | 2008.08.12 at 09:23 PM
Who knows him best? You do. It might be physical, it might be emotional, but you know there is something that needs addressing, and you'll do it. Being a parent is like being the clueless kid in school, wandering around in gym class about to get nailed with the next dodgeball because we think the game is still in time-out.
Posted by: Velma | 2008.08.12 at 09:33 PM
someone mentioned the food allergy thing...have him tested for celiace disease...i know you've mentioned that your sister has it (and so do I)....it can cause some crazy behavior, neurological & depression like symptoms....and it can just make you not feel very good (i know as i've been there).
Posted by: jill jones | 2008.08.12 at 09:47 PM
Never underestimate your gut. Hugs.
Posted by: Laura | 2008.08.12 at 10:06 PM
Coming out of lurkdom to give a suggestion. Your kiddo would benefit from seeing a registered play therapist. You both will get some great insights and most importantly some support for you. you can find a registered play therapist at www.a4pt.org look under directories for a therapist in your area. Best of luck to you.
Posted by: Kecia | 2008.08.12 at 10:46 PM
Is it his hearing again? Should it be checked again? Sometimes kids can be good at masking their hearing problems at home but it can cause difficulties with socializing and moods. Is it possible that he can't tell that the pitch of some sounds is super-annoying?
Posted by: visitor | 2008.08.12 at 11:10 PM
I agree, you know your kids, take him to the doctor and push to find out what's wrong. Be "that" parent again, the one who pisses everyone else off because you know what's right and your son needs you again. And if it's not physical, drugs, lots of drugs, maybe for him too ;)
Posted by: FamiliesONLY | 2008.08.12 at 11:11 PM
Others have mentioned food allergies and celiac disease, two things I would pursue further. The most common symptom of celiac disease in children is irritability. Also, celiac disease causes malabsorption of nutrients, so kids with it are often low in iron and various vitamins that, in turn, can cause the sensory issues you mentioned (dentist issues, etc.).
However, your pediatrician may not be of much help with either of those issues. Usually, the MD approach to food allergies is the IgE test, which is a skin test. The IgG test measures delayed allergies, which is more likely what happens in the gut. A nutritionist can help with that testing. As for celiac testing, if you have a family history of it, then you should be able to ask your pediatrician to have your son tested.
Celiac disease can sometimes be "triggered," i.e., become symptomatic, by events, so that may be why Max seemed OK until recently. It's not unusual for kids with celiac disease to have had colic as infants, to have been difficult toddlers and picky eaters, etc.
My now 12-year-old has celiac. Actually, he only has one of the two known genes for celiac, but once we removed gluten from his diet, he became the sunny boy whom we only caught glimpses of previously. He also grew three inches and gained 13 pounds in 3 months (he was 7 when we started on a gluten-free diet).
Good luck and don't stop until you figure out what is causing such angst in your son.
Posted by: Amy Stone | 2008.08.13 at 12:50 AM
Melissa, you are a fantastic mom. Like most of your commenters, I say trust your gut and go bug your pediatrician to use that degree they worked so hard for.
Posted by: Eva | 2008.08.13 at 01:03 AM
During 2nd grade my son had meltdowns almost nightly for a couple months. He was an emotional wreck. According to him, everyone hated him including his teacher (she didn't), kids picked on him (they didn't), he didn't want to go anywhere--ever. I was "ruining" his life.
I think part of it was he was growing so having more snacks helped some. He already ate pretty healthy--we just added more snacks. However I had to be careful. If I offered him a banana when I picked him up from school it was the stupidest suggestion ever. If I just left a banana on the console and didn't mention it he would go for it on his own. Arg.
Also, at bedtime I would lay down with him and he would wail about all of the above for an hour (or bring up things like our dog that died 3 years before--anything for a good cry) and I'd suggest ways to cope. Really, his troubles were far smaller than he imagined but they seemed huge to him. I totally had to baby him to get him to calm down and get to sleep but he always felt better after a really huge cry the night before.
It did all pass but I spent a lot of sleepless nights worried that he would always be an emotional wreck and kids WOULD start really picking on him because he was so sensitive.
Posted by: kb | 2008.08.13 at 01:04 AM
My son had a freakout when he was about 7 years old -- turned out that he hadn't had a BM in three weeks.
It could be something completely different with Max, of course. Just adding my voice to the "see a doctor" crowd.
Posted by: ac | 2008.08.13 at 10:32 AM
I have the same low tolerance for annoying kid noises, but you're the better mom for giving yourself a timeout. I have been known to sink to such low levels as blasting the car radio so I can't hear them, mimicking the noise right back at them, or actually stopping the car and telling them I'm not driving anymore until they stop stop STOP! Very lame parenting right there. So, first, I think you should be proud of yourself for knowing your limits. Really. That's a sign of a GOOD parent.
Secondly, (regarding your title) I much prefer your honest and long drawn-out posts. Succint is fine for some people and some content (like mighty Maggie), but I like the genuine you better. Always have liked your site and your writing for it's own style, not when it's like someone else's.
Finally, echo echo echo, call the doctor. Even if it's your fear that it *isn't* physical, it could be physiological or psychological and either way it's the kind of thing that there are solutions for, and isn't that the most important thing: finding solutions?
Keep up the good work, Melissa. You're doing just fine -- most days, even better than that.
Posted by: Imanitsud | 2008.08.13 at 12:16 PM
$50 says he has an ear infection. my kids turn into demons when they have them, and half the time they don't even realize (or tell me) that they are in pain.
good luck dude.
Posted by: Sara | 2008.08.13 at 03:12 PM
I say get thee and the boy to the pediatrician. Sudden change in mood can be an indicator of many things and you will kick yourself much harder for putting it off if there's something wrong.
I love the mommy time-out you took. I try to send myself to my room sometimes because it's easier when it's just the general chaos of life that's getting to me.
Anyone with your sense of humor is a great mom.
Posted by: Kelly | 2008.08.13 at 03:24 PM
I've seen kids lose their shit and act psychotic from an undiagnosed (without any symptoms) strep infection. It can cause things that range from childhood anorexia, to OCD, to Tourette syndrome, to simple nightmares.
The worst that will happen is you'll blow a co-payment. Go to the ped. and demand a full workup. If anything, it will cure part of your curiosity and you'll be able to move on. It's easy enough to rule out the basics with concrete results.
You're a good mom for seeking the advice and input of other parents.
Posted by: Dani | 2008.08.13 at 06:36 PM
when my sister was about that age, she started acting different from her normal self - she was sad, introverted and became upset over simple dissappointments. My parents took her to our doc, who suggested she see a therapist. No meds or anything, just some one on one time with someone outside the family who could help her talk about and work through her feelings. she was there for only a few sessions and it worked wonders.
Posted by: anon | 2008.08.13 at 06:41 PM
Hi Melissa,
I have been following your blog on and off since you left Blogging Baby but never commented. I think you know what to do, as you always seem to. Didn't Max just undergo an operation on his ears not long ago? Could it be related to the surgery? Making the sound could cause some sort of comfortable vibration for him if something is amiss inside. If his sinuses/ears are off he's probably not getting REM sleep and as I have read, you know what a lack of sleep can do to a body.
Best of luck to you and yours.
Posted by: Meg McG | 2008.08.13 at 07:12 PM
After checking with your pediatrician to rule out a physical problem, maybe you could videotape one of his tantrums--in some sort of 'sneaky' way so it doesn't seem like you're taunting him. Once he has settled down, show it to him (a private viewing, of course) and see what he thinks of it. Perhaps if he sees and hears himself he'll realize how two-ish he looks and figure out a more age-appropriate way to express his frustration. Good luck with regaining your 'chill' little guy!
Posted by: Nanc | 2008.08.13 at 07:21 PM
Right after I read your post I got in my car and heard a Lead Poisoning public service announcement. Apparently, it can cause behaviors in children. Just mentioning it in case it was a sign or something.
Posted by: Laurie | 2008.08.13 at 07:24 PM
If he grew out of it once, I'm sure he can grow out of it again... Right? Maybe? Hopefully?
Posted by: Michelle | 2008.08.13 at 09:23 PM
I am with the ped crowd and the something went down at summer camp crowd.
That said, please remember that it could also just as easily be a phase. An horrid, bleating goat phase, but a phase none-the-less...
Posted by: sarah | 2008.08.13 at 10:38 PM
This is a tough one. I second the recommendations to try a doctor. If that doesn't turn up anything, my best strategy was to ignore it and walk away. If no one is there to listen, I found that it stops pretty soon. Hard to do in the car, though. Good luck.
Posted by: Tom | 2008.08.13 at 10:50 PM
i think max and my middle child are the same age? I too was feeling like "something" wasn't "right" with my guy for weeks and weeks. We had just moved, so it was easy to chalk it up to transition and upheaval, but still...
I finally took him to his ped, feeling like a fool for saying, "well, I don't KNOW what seems to be the problem, only he just doesn't seem himself..." she ran a bunch of tests, and what do you know, the kid had had mono for months.
listen to that gut of yours.
Posted by: kyran Pittman | 2008.08.14 at 12:18 AM
How old is Max again? I am a firm believer in the half year syndrome. Three and half was a rough one for Declan and five and half is turning out to be terrible as well. I looked it up after we started experiencing it every year and it's apparently a true phenomenon among kids. That when they turn an age, they feel great, all grown up, etc - but around half year they start pushing buttons again.
having said that, like with your daughter, clearly you knew something was off, and you will know best if there is something else besides a normal off-phase of assholityness.
Along those lines, I just got back from the doctor and I have a sinus infection and bronchitis and I can tell you I sure feel like being an asshole right now.
Posted by: Aimee Greeblemonkey | 2008.08.14 at 01:39 PM
Stepping out of the car--genius. A move I've made several times to get a moment to regroup and breathe.
Fingers and toes are crossed for you that everything smooths out.
Posted by: Lisa | 2008.08.15 at 10:06 AM
Good luck! If the ped can't make any determination of a physical problem, maybe he can he refer you to a child psychologist?
Posted by: Clair | 2008.08.16 at 12:44 AM
Things I'd check into:
(1) your water source - is he drinking anything made with tap water (concentrated juices, etc.) some water sources can have excess heavy metals which cause neurological issues.
(2) as others have mentioned - food allergies. Dairy and gluten are two biggies that can cause the type of behaviour you've described.
(3) food additives - colourings (they are SO BAD! and are in so many things you'd think they wouldn't be), preservatives.
Just some thoughts.
Posted by: ~Monica | 2008.08.17 at 01:23 AM
I think it's really unlikely that a 7 year old, especially a kid as good as Max, the way you describe him, would carry on and with such odd behavior just for attention. And since you're not giving him the attention, that's clearly not it. Kids are really logical at this age, especially boys.
I think he's in pain - When the toy broke, he probably had a massive head ache. And I think the other things he's telling you - summer camp, dentist, pool... all things that probably aggravated it. I think an MRI to check his sinuses is right on the money.
TRUST your instincts!
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