Other Places: The I Need Childcare Edition

This morning I had a wistful moment thinking about how another summer's gone by and how many more things I'd planned to do with the kids. I was thinking how I wish I'd gotten child care so the work I should be able to get done in twelve intense hours a week didn't end up taking me five wildly interrupted days a week.

It's not even that the kids are bad, or need me standing over them all the time. It's that the guilt of having them here when I could be doing stuff with them, at least part of the time, absolutely kills me. Contrary to what you may think, I love doing things with my kids. I just don't like doing things with them every single day for 12 hours a day.

Many people before me have learned, doing 8 things at once means you've really done all of those things half-assed. I say this every year but next year, remind me. Next year I'm going to get someone to come take the kids to do fun things on the days I work. Then, on the days I'm not working we're going to make more time for fun.

The truth is, we did do quite a lot. But there were also quite a few days where we ate dinner and I realized the whole day had slipped past me.

Then I walked in on the kids playing a game involving a sofa cushion and screaming as loudly as possible and I thought, "Well, next year I can do it differently but Holy Shit Tuesday can't come soon enough. For all of us."

Luckily Logan has a four day weekend and we're going to fit in another three or four items on the Fun For Summer list before Tuesday.

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Last week I didn't sit down to share links to the other places I've been working. So here's a great big list.

Last Tuesday at The Buzz Off I highlighted 5 Excellent School Fundraisers. This Tuesday I did something different and shared what a few bloggers did on their summer vacation. Oddly, none of them ate their young over summer vacation. You should come over and tell us what you did. Especially if you ate your young.

At Mighty Junior I ran a Lego RoundUp, have been working on a Perfect Gifts For Two Year Olds guide and I think I closed out the Back To School Clothes Guide since the last time we talked. Check out the Lunchbox Round Up as well.

At Mighty Haus I keep finding lovely things. Here are a few of my favorites from the last couple weeks.

Like this Molded Ply Wastebasket: "This is where you’d throw all your rejected tag lines if you were Don Draper."

The Ring Doorbell: "The product description said everything I needed to hear, “The RING doorbell has a true ‘ding dong’ sound”. Next, I’d like to find a dog that actually says “Woof, Woof.”

And Handpresso: "Espresso in the wild? Now you have zero excuse to avoid camping. Wait, except for bears. And sleeping on the ground. And outhouses. Whew. That was close."

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Enjoy your last summer weekend. We have to run and find out which wonderful teacher will enrich the lives of my children while I work guilt free for 6 hours a day. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Comments

[Beth]

let me impress upon you the value of the sitter/nanny. I only work part-time. Maybe 12-15 hours a week and during that time I have a nanny that comes and watches the kids. I can't begin to tell you the difference that makes. I work far more efficiently in that 15 hours than I ever could and when I'm done I can focus 100% on my kids guilt-free. It's worth the money - seriously!

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

I am going to consider it a personal mission to sart reminding you in, say, April, or so.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

And after that, I'll START reminding you.

[Becky]

I know. The guilt, it burns! Like, I can feel guilty while my two year-old is playing happily by himself. He doesn't even need to be whining and nearly dislocating my index finger by trying to pull me away from my desk.

I have a neat ability to feel guilty about whatever I'm NOT doing, no matter what I'm doing. Sorry to be a downer. Good times!

And I love your blog! See, up up up!

[Sara]

That's one of the hazards of working from home, isn't it? I don't take my work as seriously as I should, so I don't line up childcare. If I worked in an office, for somebody else, I wouldn't try to get away with not hiring a babysitter.

The guilt of not taking myself seriously vs. the guilt of not spending time with my kids... oh, my, how to choose?

[Lyndsay]

I don't even have anything inspiration to add, I just want to say that I totally understand :)

[Lisa]

Guilt is some serious shit. However, having a day (or several)slip by you is seriously OK. I think kids need time to figure out how to amuse themselves instead of relying on us amusing THEM all the time. Remember when your mother opened the back door in the summer and said in a much nicer way "OK, beat it." Which really meant, time for kids to go out and play and find things to do in the back yard for a while while Mom catches her breath. We DO so much for our kids to make sure they're happy, and I think maybe sometimes we do too much. Just sayin'.

[Jennifer]

Wow--only a few days of nothing much accomplished? My whole childhood, the summers consisted of me waking up whenever, eating something really unhealthy that could be microwaved (one time I tried to make something in the oven but that resulted in a small fire so I never did that again), and then crawling into my parents' bed to watch Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Happy Days reruns ad nauseum (both parents worked). Your kids have got it GREAT!

[Mary Anne]

I hear you. I spent the entire summer trying to work, while my husband, a stay at home dad, tried to keep them out of my hair. But, let's face it....a Mommy that is off limits is way to fun to ignore. The result was me stressing out, yelling a little too much and having to work longer hours to make up the difference. Also, I decided to start a blog, not knowing how freaking addictive it is and then that took up more time too. Next year, I'm doing the same thing as you....or at least organizing some structured activities that get them out of the house with Dad for at least few hours a day. Mine went back to school this week, and while I did actually cheer that fact, two minutes after they got on the bus, I was like "well...I sucked big time this summer..." I call a do-over next summer!

[Lizzi]

What we've found to solve that problem over the summer are weekly camps. I'm not a big proponent of the Send-Your-Kids-Away-To-Camp-Everyday theory, so we utilize the varying weeklong camps available in our area. For example, one week they'll do a baseball camp, then they stay home and we play or we all go somewhere the next week. The following week they'll do a theatre camp, and the next they'll be home, etc. It's a nice way to make sure I actually still have a business by the end of summer, and that ... well, that the kids are still alive.

[Jamie]

I'm with you on the difficulty of working from home and the guilt. I work from home on Fridays and it really turns into a "let's see how many half-assed projects I can cram into one day" day. Ugh.

I'm glad school is back in full swing, too. Although I get the wistful where did summer go guilt, too.

Dang I'm full of guilt!

[Signe]

Clearly you're not alone! I'd love to have someone come in and just do the housework so I could be outside doing something other than cleaning the toilet or laundry. Luckily kids forget a lot. :)

[Michele]

I think all Mom's think they can do better with fun activities. I know when my 3-yr-old watches 3 episodes of Dora back to back, I feel guilty!

[Margot]

Ah, mommy guilt. Lovely thing, huh? I fully agree with the commenters who say that our kids need to learn how to entertain themselves a bit more-- I too was one of those kids who was shown the door and told to Go Play Outdoors, and I honestly think I'm more creative and self disciplined because of it. I also strongly believe that all Mommies need time to themselves, and that taking some time to themselves makes them better mothers. A stressed out mom desperately in need of a bit of time out isn't able to be there for her kids. All I have to say is thank heavens for Care.com-- my source of great sitters!!! I adore my kids and love spending time with them, but from time to time need to get work done or catch a moment to myself. :)

[Jen]

Is it bad that I'm counting down the days until my 11 month-old starts all day Kindergarten? :)

[Carol]

I got two words for you: Summer camp. The kids LOVE it and you get peace and quiet.