Hey, thanks! Wait.

A few weeks ago someone left a comment that read;

"Thoughtful husband. Wicked woman."

I thought, "Wow, that lady thinks I'm Wicked Awesome! Like Massachusetts awesome!"

That's a nice thing to say.

But then, after a brief delay, and perusal of her website, I realized that no, she actually thinks I'm wicked in the more generally frowned upon sense of evil.

**************

A while back I posted a picture of Maddie drinking out one of the Naked Lady Glasses we have in the house. Well, now we have just one after a particularly traumatic evening when someone was awkwardly drinking out of the naked lady glass and dropped it.

Someone, who's since deleted her account, left a couple of comments on the photo about what a terrible mother I was for letting my kid drink out of a naked lady glass.

And I assumed she was being sarcastic because I didn't think it was possible to be offended by my kid drinking out of a naked lady glass. Which after this long on the internet you'd think I'd realize how pretty much everything on the internet offends someone at some time.

So I played along, taking the joke further saying maybe my kid would become a serial killer because she drank out of a naked lady glass. Ha! Ha! Right!?

But no, we weren't playing the same sarcasm game...because her next comment suggested Maddie would not become a serial killer but would likely get pregnant from drinking out of a naked lady glass. (?)(!)

Oh, okay, so we're not joking are we. Oops!

**************

I'm trying to decide if it's a good thing I assume people are being kind, even when they're not. Or if this just makes me a bigger jack ass than I originally thought.

Still there's something kind of satisfying about taking someone's insults and taking them in as kindly comments. Like when someone flips you off in traffic and you smile and wave back.

You can just hear them, in their car, "Why is she smiling! I'm furious! FURIOUS!!!! I'm flipping her off why does she keep smiling? STOP SMILING! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

And I'm in my car going, "How nice, he's waving to me with his middle finger. That must be a new thing all the kids are doing! Hello nice fellow! Have a lovely day!"

And then his head explodes.

Comments

[HomeSlice]

yeah, there are some really wackos in the universe. like when i posted about thinking of selling my children, and people thought i was actually going to do it (well, it depends on how much i could get). i don't understand though why people comment with that crap. move on. there are plenty of conservative, non-naked-lady-glass drinking blogs out there.

[MelissaSfromGA]

I'm totally with you, and I mean it! I now need to run out and get some naked lady glasses for my kids to drink out of. Do they make them in sippy cup style?

[Rebeckah]

You are so funny! I think the EXACT same way that you do! I am always always hoping people are filled with kindness instead of hatred...

[Rebeckah]

Oh, and P.S. She DEFINITELY can't get pregnant by drinking out of a naked lady glass...just in case you were wondering!

[Tonya]

I like to imagine that this woman put "naked lady" into Google and ended up at your site. Maybe that's why she was so mad. She was looking for REAL naked ladies to be upset about. :)

[Lisame]

Girl! save yourself from these unhappy people and continue to believe the love!

[Nancy King]

These are the people who think Sarah Palin is going to be a great VP

I'm thinking her daughter is more likely to get pregnant.

[Larissa Gaston]

I try to remember to smile and wave back when someone flips me off in traffic. Now I'll add a "Hello nice fellow! Have a lovely day!":)

[ccr in MA]

I think that believing people mean well is an excellent response. If only it were true more often!

And honestly, if one is offended by what one is reading, stop reading it. Click the little X at the top of the screen, and the offensiveness will vanish like it was never there. Poof! No more offense. Magic...

[Ellen]

That woman simply has too much time to stew upon nonsense. I like your attitude. Being a mother, my new role model is Spongebob. I need to be more like that - happy and utterly oblivious.

[Elizabeth]

In our family we call it "Bitchy Friendly" and try to deploy it as awesome as possible because it is just so awesome.
If it helps, btw, I think you're wicked. In the good way.

[anna]

The right kind of birth control education is to learn that drinking out of naked lady glasses might lead to pregnancy, I guess.

[Ariel]

I LOVE that glass! I want one!

[Laurie]

I hate asshats.

I, too, wave at those in other cars flipping me off...it's fun to watch their heads explode.

[Ariel]

So basically I got pregnant from looking at myself in the mirror when I got out of the shower?
Or maybe because I worked in health care and had to give little old ladies baths?
If ONLY someone had told me...
Keep waving and blowing kisses, its the only way to get by!

[Angela]

When I had reason to deal with nasty people, I always drove them nuts by ending the conversation by saying, "And thanks for being so helpful and kind!", in the cheeriest little voice I had. It's perfect because what are they going to do? Complain to my supervisor that they were neither helpful nor kind, and that I very insultingly insuinated that they were? And yet, they totally know you were really telling them what fuckheads they were.

[Meg]

That is hilarious! I would have taken the "wicked woman" comment the same way too. I don't know why, but I'm always surprised when I realize just how uptight some people are. I would really love to read that woman's blog if you care to share the link. She sounds like a peach. You should put her on your blogroll.

[getsheila]

Wonder what she would have said about the other glass in the set, the naked man with the built in sippie straw.

[Michelle]

True story: My grandfather had very similar naked lady mugs when I was a kid and he used to let me drink out of them all the time. He let me drink things like COFFEE and DR. PEPPER. OOOooo!!!! Despite his wicked ways, I am pleased to report that I am not a serial killer because of his influence.

[Thea]

Wait, hold up. Are you in fact teaching your children to a.) not take themselves so seriously and b.) instill in them a solid sense of humor which will be FOUNDATIONAL skills for survival in this cold, cruel world? Or are you c.) trying to instill in your children a sense of fear and judgment at every turn?

Sometimes one of the greatest skills of all (sounds like you've got this one down pat) is the ability to let all the crap roll right off. See middle finger wave, think ducks and water.

[Lisa V]

My sister's ex and his new wife frequently email us just hideous statements whenever we ask to see my niece.

We never take the bait and always end it with "thanks so much" and a smiley face. Drives them up the wall. And really I feel like it takes the air out of their tires and they channel their anger inward. Maybe they will eventually implode on that anger. :)

[jo]

I'll just ad here that there were nude charcoal drawings on the wall in my house. My Mom collected Cambridge Nude glasses (apttern was called Statuesque) and their bathroom in the master bath was black and white nude wallpeper with I MIGHT ADD a CUSHIONED MATCHING toilet seat.
I inherited this room at the age of 11 when they added on a master suite on the back of the house.
I lived through it, and have a large appreciation of art and even tell my butcher I want chicken boobs when I order. It makes his 70 year old self chuckle.
I also was the official Manhattan maker in the house form age 9 on.
Ever seen Mad Men? That was my life.
I think I've turned out rather normal, dull even.
You, my dear, have nothing to worry about. I've been reading for many a year and have often been shocked at what comes out of the woodwork to chastise you for the slightest thing. Nut jobs, you can't live with em, you can't shoot em.

F'em, is my advice, and following the advice of Lisa above, smile while doing it.

[carrie]

Some people are way too serious about this thing called life. Of course, we gave a similar set of glasses as a Christmas gift one year and I've been thinking about giving a set to my teenage nephew when he graduates from high school. Because we have a warped sense of humor but my brother will probably keep them for himself.

[Dawn]

Boy, some people are just really really weird. I think your blog is funny, you crack me up all the time. Just let that kind of stuff roll off of your back.
dawn

[Marinka]

That is hysterical. I can't stop laughing about the lady who thought that your daughter would get pregnant from drinking out of a naked lady cup.

And Carrie, aren't you worried that your brother will get pregnant if he gets the glasses?

[feefifoto]

I know which blogger you're talking about. In fact, that blog was written by the Republican nominee for VP and she had to delete it because she simply has too much on her plate right now to spend time managing a blog.

She'll be back in the blogosphere soon, though.

[Nannybell]

One of the highlights of my day is reading your blog! There is a saying in my household, penned by my four kids whe they think a girl is "hot"... "Frickin' wicked stunning!" I think she must have meant that! Thanks for all of your hilarity!

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

She was upset by the glass, but not by the beer?

Some people have too much time on their hands.

[Ms.carson]

When I was a kid we had naked lady and naked man pens. You know the kind that had swimsuits on when they were upright but the clothes "melted away" when you would write.
Now I am an adult and I have gotten pregnant twice. Now I know how that all happened.

Ignore the stupid. Be happy and be happy you aren't like them.

[bonzai]

Oh...my. Some people just live to be bitter and unhappy. And they feel the need to spread it like manure.
I love your attitude. Your cheerfulness and bravado in the face of the craziness of life and raising kids often makes my day.
Wicked, indeed! Cheers to Maddie AND her swell glass!

[patois]

Okay. I've got a new name for such people, courtesy of my demon spawn youngest: jackholes. The combo of jackasses and assholes, two words one is not allowed to say around one's mother (even if one is drinking from the EVIL naked lady glass). That woman? A jackhole. (Trademark pending.)

And now I shall head off into traffic and see if I can cause angry people's heads to explode.

[j-rap]

WOW. Well, is my face ever red? Silly me, spending five years trying to get pregnant by having lots of sex with my husband... I should have just bought naked lady glasses! This will save me a fortune on fertility treatments.

[Cuz_I'm_The_Mom]

I love the look on your daughter's face. Priceless.

As for that Asshat Sanctimommy:
Join me in wishing a raging case of head lice upon her perfectly-reared offspring.

p.s. I think the correct term for the nudity portrayed here is "nekkid"

[cornnut32]

some people just need to learn how to LAUGH.

you should always assume people are being nice. if you don't, at least in my experience, you end up being miserable...and taking offense to things that shouldn't be taken offense to! like that weirdo lady!

[Sara]

My dad has this mug shaped like a breast and once, as a teenager, I drank milk from its pert, porcelain nipple. And look what happened to me! I am a married mother with a degree in teaching and at least 10 years of Bust and Bitch magazines in my home library. What is the world coming to?
I think your assumption that people are nice is charming.

[Eva]

Oh, come on!, everyone knows it's the naked-man-drinking-glasses that get girls pregnant!
You are WICKED in all the very best ways!

[Tonja]

Oh I totally smile and wave when someone has road rage - LOVE IT!

[justAcliche]

I grew up in Massachusetts, have been a very long time reader and I have to say - you are wicked. In the wicked cool way of course.

[elizabeth]

I love your attitude of believing the best of people before being proved wrong. More people should think that way. (I am working on it myself) The thought of the road rage guy's head exploding makes it that much more fun to respond kindly.

[ashley]

This pretty much sums up why in general I hate people.

[Jenn Steele]

Keep the rose-colored glasses. They look good on you.

[ryan]

my grandpa used to drink coffee out of a naked lady glass. we never thought a thing of it until a visiting friend ran home in horror and told her mom. we were 8.

[Ani]

The pic was hilarious but the pregnant comment? That was priceless. I'll be chuckling to myself all day now.

[jana]

My husband and I say "Joke 'em if they can't take a F**K." Or just "Joke 'em," if the kids are around.

[Sus]

I love your attitude! I think it's a fun game to always assume the best. The other day we were driving behind a huge SUV that was terrified of the speed bumps in the road. My husband was screaming It's a HUMMER it can HANDLE it!!! I suggested that maybe they are transporting a 10-layer wedding cake made entirely of sand. We just don't know. Do we?

[rbiggs]

Hey, just because you have a husband that isn't a total ass, doesn't make you wicked! People are just jealous when they have yucky husbands. Keep on being positive!

[Erika]

I saw that comment and I assumed that she meant wicked in a cool way. We were both wrong.

[Matin]

Oh how much I hate moral police, why do they even read blogs??
Great blog by the way:-)
X M

[Michele]

Some people just aren't happy unless they are unhappy. Screw'em! Your blog is hilarious!!

[Cat]

OMG too funny! Totally make her head explode! Do it! Do it! That's more likely to swing your daughter's issues towards the serial killer end of the spectrum. And really, everyone's daughter is getting knocked up these days - you want to stand out from the crowd! Female serial killers are about as rare as female engineers - you'll be famous!

[dewshane]

Waving and smiling at people who are flipping me off on the road is about my favorite thing to do. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to actually see their head explode. I'm from Boston...people drive around here without their heads all the time (but usually because it's stuffed up their butts).

[galyng]

I'm exactly the same way--I idiotically assume that everyone is really kind and friendly. And they couldn't possibly be angry about certain things.
This morning, I was driving to work, worrying about how late I was, when I noticed this really, really angry man driving past me. He was giving someone the finger and leaning out his window waving his hand furiously. "Wow!" I thought. "He is REALLY mad." And I looked around and then realized that he was mad at me. Apparently, I did something, like, uh, take his turn at a 4-way stop.

[Michelle]

I too derive that unusual satisfaction from disallowing someone their pleasure of my shame.

[CouryG]

Wait a second.....I don't have any naked lady glasses, so why do I keep getting pregnant?

[Melissa]

I was exposed (pun unintentional) to a boob cake in the 6th grade. (by my mom! for shame!) I'm 32 and still not pregnant. Hmmm...maybe I should've eaten a piece of that cake...

[photo Lori]

I love doing things like that. This one was the absolute best! I lived in NYC at the time and had to walk to the grocery store. Well, one day I bought a few too many and of course didn't have one of those carts, so I had to carry a crap-load of bags home. I was walking across the street and a couple of ladies walked by me and I accidently bumped her with one of my bags. She started yelling at me. She was so mad I bumped her...(she didn't fall down and it was AN ACCIDENT!) Well, I pretended to be retarded. Her friend was mortified that she was screaming at a handicapped person. The screaming lady only slightly so...

[Elle]

From someone who grew up in Massachusetts, I think you're wicked awesome!

[JP]

There is something oddly satisfying about laughing at the folks who think they are so high and mighty. Awesome...

[HeatherK]

Well, I for one think you are a wicked cool mom. I'm well towards the irreverent side myself and hell, I breastfed my kids so is drinking from actual naked lady boobs really going to warp them or what?

And if Maddie is a pregnant teen, then can *you* run for veep? I would so totally vote for you. At least run for mayor of Detroit or something.

[zandor]

I never saw that picture before this. I think it's good how you think nice things even with mean people. Its fun to do sometimes.

[northerngurl]

Sometimes my daughter and I go out and say "Let's just kill everyone with kindness today."....OHHHH....it's fun!!!

[Dawn]

Get pregnant from drinking from a naked lady glass?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

My lord, how do these people get through life? It must be traumatizing for them.

Stay wicked. The internets like you that way. ;)

[JessicaD]

I'm from MA. You're certifiably wicked.

I also do the cheery "hello to you, ma'am!" when being violently flipped off. If it's in person, I have taken to ending the conversation with a big smile and "bless your little soul!"

[kimblahg]

If it is any consolation, I do the same thing, "Thanks! Wait, what?"

[Domestic GOddess]

OH NOES! Not the nekkid lady glasses! I mean, NEKKID? ACK! That's nudity! And when people see nudity they do all kinds of crazy immoral things!
Sigh. What IS this world coming to?

[Carrie]

Good lord, people are strange aren't they?

*and I don't mean you :)

[jfoo]

You're funnnny.

*Note I did not clarify funny ha ha or funny hummmm

[SueFromNC]

This gal has a righteous comic on her website that, in my opinion, pretty much sums up the haters that come to your site...check it out.

http://misszoepearl.blogspot.com/2008/09/comic-of-day.html