Paging Nurse Logan.

Logan is very good at a lot of things. He is good at:

Running more than humans are supposed to.
Being thoughtful.
Working hard and exceeding expectations.
Doing fun things with the kids.
Eating a lot of protein.

Logan is not good at very few things:

He is not very good at keeping his schedule relatively open, if there's a minute? He'll fill it!
He isn't very good at throwing his clothes down the laundry chute. (They sit on the floor in front of the chute.)

He's probably worst at taking care of sick people.

In November I'm going to be a very sick person. That said, our neighbor told me she was "mostly fine" after her tonsillectomy years ago at age 30. She's around 60 years old now. I think she might be forgetting the pain, much like childbirth doesn't seem that bad after the fact. Although, I still remember in the throes of it all thinking, "I will never forget that this feels like I am splitting in two."

Also my neighbor is a lot tougher than me, she probably had her tonsils out after a shot of Jack with a rusty knife on her kitchen table. (Not really, it was at hospital). I have no doubt she could wash the floor with my limp and lifeless body if she chose to.

I am, on the other hand, an incredible wimp. As we've seen over and over in the last year as I've (we've all) suffered through throat infection after throat infection.

The nice thing about Logan's terrible lack of patience and empathy when taking care of sick people is that he knows he's really bad at it. We're all on the same page so that when he says, "Will you need a ride home from the surgery?"

And I look at him with the look that says, "What the hell are you talking about, dummy?"

He doesn't argue, he looks back and says, "Oh, right...."

When he says, "Maybe I'll just take a day off work?"

And I look at him and he says, "Why don't I take the rest of the week after the surgery off, I can work from home and then we'll see how you feel?"

It's just too bad I can't get that method to work when we're arguing over relocating to a different state.

Although I may have pushed the whole thing too far when I suggested he should wear a nurse's costume and give me a bell so I can call him when I need something, like my pillows fluffed.

Comments

[Lisame]

You need find a ManNurse Costume for him. ONE WITH SHORTS! This is his chance to show off those legs. Maybe that would be incentive for him to be better at taking care of you. Roll playing - using his legs!

[Amanda]

In February I managed to come down with a nasty case of something. I laid in bed one particular Sunday morning writhing in pain from a head fully congested in snot and a nice mixture of hot flashes and cold sweats. I also had a temperature of over 100.

My husband, who is usually very good at taking care of sick people asks, "Do you need me to drive you to the Urgent Care?" So once I convinced him that yes, I needed a ride (all of 5 minutes up the road to the nearest one!) he proceeds to take me inside, take one look around the waiting room (full of people) and asked if it was okay if he left? 2 HOT SWEATY FEVERISH HOURS LATER I still hadn't been called back and he walks in and asks if it is worth the wait. I'm like, "Yes. I'm sitting here in a thin t-shirt, bra less, sweating, I am not leaving until I get some damn medication."

He then ices the cake by asking if he could just call my mom to pick him up and I could drive myself home. I must have shot a nasty death look his way and not more than 2 minutes later was called back to a room.

He will NEVER live that one down.

[Lorna]

I had my tonsils out when I was 21 and had to stay overnight in the hospital. I hate to be the bad news fairy, but I was sick for a month. Bad reaction to the antibiotics. However, it was the best diet I was ever on!

[ashley]

Dude, I'm with you on the whole relocation thing. I was just surfing job sites for other areas... I cannot believe that we moved to Michigan on purpose. This place scares the ever loving crap out of me. Of course, it's not like we could sell our house anyway. Stupid market. Stupid economy. Stupid Michigan. I need a drink.

[melissaS]

I know! I feel like now is the time to cut and run since we don't own a house.

However, Logan was offered a promotion yesterday.

Grrrrrrrrrrr. FOILED AGAIN!

[Beth]

I had my tonsils out when I was 18 and it well and truly sucked. Upside? My stomach was never flatter.

[Lisa]

Having my tonsils out was WAY WORSE than having a baby.....just thought you should know the truth going in. Plus my 15 year old daughter had hers out two weeks ago and she found out today that there is "scar tissue" on the left side and she will have to have another surgery right before Thanksgiving. Can not tell you how happy she was about that one!

[Michelle]

I had my tonsils out at 26 and had no problems - likely due to the fact that having tonsilitis and bronchitis nearly continuously for the year prior to having them out made the post-op pain pale in comparison. My tonsils were so inflamed and swollen that they met in the middle in the back of my throat - it's not good when the doctor takes a quick look and says with not hesitation, "Um, yes, that's bad, you need surgery."
So here's hoping you have the same luck I did. Though I was honestly hoping for some weight loss resulting from not being able to swallow for a couple weeks, alas, it was not to be. Be prepared for the worst and then when it's not so bad you can be pleasantly surprised - sort of the opposite mantra of "aim for the stars...".

[Teresa]

My daughter had her tonsils & adenoids out just over a year ago. It was horrible for her for at least seven days. Everything I read leading up to her surgery suggested that for adults it's at least twice as tough. I'm sorry...very very sorry for you! My daughter was pathetic. The bell is actually a good idea! Our librarian gave us one for her to use to get our attention. As it turned out, since she was only 4, we didn't leave her alone much at all! You, on the other hand, are an adult. Logan may feel comfortable retreating to the other side of the house while you sleep & when you wake - you need something (maybe not fluffed pillows - maybe more drugs!) Cue BELL! Best of luck to you!

P.S. we also borrowed an icee machine from a friend. Cold = good.

[Suzi @ pink vanilla cupcakes]

Good luck with the surgery. I am sure Logan will step up and take excellent care of you! As for relocating, come to Minnesota! The economy and job market haven't tanked (yet) and there are awesome companies to work for. Woo hoo! Eat plenty of popcicles!!!!

[ashley]

Well, yeah on the promotion! That's good news. Sorry your plans to bail were foiled.

Oh and PS - Good luck with the whole tonsils thing. I won't share any of the stories I know about adults who have had them out. Nope. Not going to do it.

[Michele]

What you need to do about the laundry/chute conundrum is to actually put it on his schedule.

Hope all goes well with the surgery. I suffered through numerous bouts of strep throat, etc. two years ago, and I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it can understand the utter hell it is. But just think, once the surgery is done, no more infections that make you feel like you're swallowing a mixture of sand & broken glass.

[Dianna]

Nurse's costume. Yes, you should definately have him do that. I mean really it's the least he could do! If that won't fly, at least the bell!

[bridget in oregon]

I had my tonsils and adnoids out when I was 29. Yeah, it hurt like hell (every time you want to swallow you ask yourself, "Is this necessary or can it wait?") but it beats getting sick all the time. My best friend is a physician and passed on the "BTW" information to me that no, they don't cut them out, they lasso them out.

Yeah. Nice.

[MelissainAtlanta]

Totally brings back memories of mouth surgery I had a year ago! I was laughing out loud, really!

[Tonya]

I can identify. And my husband, who is normally very easy going gets pissy when I am sick. It's as if he thinks it's MY fault that I'm under the weather. WTH?!

[ccr in MA]

Wow, you must have quite a Look! And he can actually read it, too. Well done!

[jana]

Heed the advice for laying low for at LEAST a week and requiring help for at LEAST 2 days. We got text messaging on our phones so I could get George's attention when he worked from home and I was in the bedroom, and even after he went back to work (since I couldn't talk for a couple of weeks). It was much less annoying than a bell.

[zdoodlebub]

I'm glad my husband is not the only one who is a jackass to sick people. Like, the rest of the time he's a pretty decent guy, right? But when the fruits of his loins or the love of his life is sick? Pffft.

Hope your surgery goes better than any surgery in the history of tonsils.

[Mary]

I want to see photos if you get Logan into a nurses costume.

Good luck with the surgery. Speedy healing.

Move to SF Bay Area, California! It was about 80 degrees here today and I fear my kids will be sweating in their Halloween costumes. The housing market is crashing here, so you could get a sweet deal. And your Obama barrette would fit in nicely. :-)

[Bananadoc]

Oh Lord, don't leave. I can't handle all my friends leaving the state. Michigan needs smart, nice people and they're all damn well leaving and it's depressing me. We've lost friends to Phoenix, Somewhere in North Carolina, Cleveland and Toronto so far. God knows why anyone would want to go NORTH from here, but each to his own I guess. Maybe I just want everyone else to suffer with me.

[RachelJ]

A week before my surgery (2 months ago) my husband informed me that he'd scheduled an all-day (like 10-hour!) work retreat for 4 days after my surgery was scheduled. He didn't understand why I got mad! To his credit, he did reschedule it and did kid-duty for a whole week. A bell is a good idea; keep a pen and paper too because you probably won't be able to (or want to) talk for about a week.

[Flydaddy]

"Fluff your pillows?" Is that what you kids are calling it now?

[bird]

I had my gallbladder removed over the summer and unexpectedly had to stay in the hospital for five nights. (It was supposed to be an outpatient procedure.)

My husband picked a fight with me over the phone about not having enough clean clothes to wear.

I hung up on him and he never could figure out why.

[Cat]

Good luck with the tonsils! And remind Logan that you won't be able to swallow...you know...very well. But maybe for the holidays?

[Susan]

If you don't already have one, this would be a good time to get yourself a juicer. I had my tonsils out at 26, and found that after four days of mostly sweet soft foods (popsicles, jello, yoghurt), I was craving something with more content. A friend brought over her juicer and a 5 lb bag of carrots and a 5 lb bag of apples. I just about kissed her bare feet. That apple-carrot juice still ranks pretty high on the list of Yummy Food I Have Eaten In My Life.

[Jen]

Sorry, I don't have anything to say about tonsils, but I second a previous commenter's suggestion...move to Minnesota! It's great up here! It's not nearly as cold for nearly as long as people think and it's beautiful all year long. Wouldn't live anywhere else. The Twin Cities rock!

[Amy]

I had my tonsils out when I was 25, after getting strep throat 5 times in 8 months. It took about 2 weeks to recover, the first week was pure hell. The codeine helps for sure! But I haven't been sick like that for almost 13 years now! You will feel so much better after it's done.

Good luck!

[AustinJen]

Hi Melissa, I'm an ENT nurse. Only to add to what's been said above - Logan will probably need to stay with you for SEVERAL days. You'll be really sore and have not much energy. I'd expect two full weeks of laying around the house, not being able to do much. Sending LOTS of good wishes and cold milkshakes your way!

[KYouell]

In a pinch some coins in a jar make a good substitute bell. Even a plastic jar makes a really nice racket. Worked for me after my c-section. I know nuttin' 'bout nuttin' as far as throats and strep and tonsils go. Here's hoping I can keep it that way.

I think the person that said you should add putting clothes into the laundry chute onto Logan's schedule was brilliant. You need to add "check in on Melissa and make sure she doesn't need anything" at whatever frequency suits you. Maybe seeing it in writing will make it make more sense to him?

[BrittanyE]

(*first time poster*)
I had my tonsils out when I was 16!(*God that seems like a lifetime ago*) I seriously thought I was dieing. I had extensive knee surgery before my tonsillectomy, and since then I have had a c-section. I can still tell you that having my tonsils out was thus far the worse thing I have gone through!

Hang in there, you will get through it! I will be sending you good get better soon feelings!

p.s. he needs to take the week off work!

[Courtney]

Oooh, all surgery scares me, but I hear the tonsillectomy isn't so bad... not that I know from personal experience or anything.

I'm hoping Logan pulls through for ya and does a great job of playing nurse.

[LauraB]

I know you were joking, but you will want that bell. You won't be able to call out when you need something so without it, you'll be stuck until the next time he checks on you. And that will be....?

[Carrie]

Hi, Melissa -

I had a tonsillectomy when I was 29 and sorry to say like some other commenters already have, but it was very rough. Seriously, like 2 weeks of BAD, so be prepared. You will need Logan with you for several days at least. It's totally worth it though, just get through those 2 weeks after the surgery! Thank goodness for Lortab! Take care I hope it goes well! You will really be happy you did it, I swear!

[Janette105]

You will hurt...no lie. Just do what they tell you to do no matter what. You'll get better faster. If they tell you to drink this and eat that, do it. I still remember the pain and discomfort and I had mine out at age 8. My sister was 36. She was not happy. BUT, you will hardly have sore throats again. I still remember having tonsilitis for practically one full year. My mom changed doctor's and my tonsils were out within 2 weeks.

Best of luck to you!! LOTS OF HAPPY THOUGHTS GOING YOUR WAY!!

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