A little of this and that.

Bring on the bran flakes.

It is 6:30 in the morning and I am awake. Not just awake, out of my bed and downstairs using my computer at this hour I don't usually see unless there is a very good reason. Like going to see Chris and Susan in Chicago. I like sleep. A lot.

I am usually dragged from my bed at exactly 8am each morning giving me exactly 40 minutes to feed the kids breakfast, make the lunches and sit in the front room with them for about 10 minutes hearing about alternately how heavy Maddie's violin is to carry, about how funny Nathan is, and how gym is sucking the life out of Maddie can't I see that? And then, before they leave for school.

But today I'm awake at 6:30. For no reason other than I wasn't sleeping so I decided to get up. This makes sense to a reasonable person, I'm married to a man who wakes up at 5am to get work done before he goes to work. (!) But for someone like me, a championship sleeper, this is unnatural. I can only think of one reason I'd be waking up at 6:30 in the morning. I'm becoming an old person. Pretty soon I'll be stopping by the Early Bird Dinner special and heading to bed by 7pm, but not before watching the Weather Channel for a couple hours.

====================================

Finally, he has an awkward interaction.

Last night we attended the second concert for Maddie in the last three days. The first was a band and orchestra extravaganza where we were dazzled and maybe a little stunned at how loud a bunch of 10 years olds can sound while playing wind instruments. I'm thankful Maddie chose to play the violin, even in spite of the scratching cat in heat sounds it can sometimes make. I felt a little violated by the trumpets during the show.

The concert last night was a little less an assault on the ears.

Before the show we saw the parents of one of Maddie's friends. As the dad came walking by I said hello and to get Logan's attention, he tapped him on the shoulder. This was meant as a passing gesture to elicit a friendly wave and nothing more.

But Logan decided to make the interaction one of those colossally awkward moments usually attributed to me in this marriage. He kind of reached out to shake the guy's hand but used the wrong hand? And it was over his shoulder sort of. And the guy was walking by quickly not meaning to stop for a handshake, awkward or otherwise.

In the end the effect was they'd just had a brief hand holding moment.

Sarah's* dad walked away, Logan looked at me and said, "I think I just held hands with Sarah's dad."

That just stood in the air for a minute.

Next time I'll try to hug him.

*not her real name

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Other Places:

I spend a lot of my day shopping for the Mighty sites. And yet, I haven't started my Christmas shopping and I have no plans to start any time soon. Let's just file this bit of information under the heading: Ways Melissa Likes To Make Life Difficult For Herself. There are two problems I have with shopping.

I have a big problem with money in that I like to have it in my pocket.

My second problem is Madison's Christmas list that reads as follows:

1. A laptop
2. Clothes (see my drawings for the kinds)
3. A trip to Chicago, San Antonio and Paris
4. A cell phone
5. A puppy (I'll be happy with just the puppy)

So you see my dilemma. Here's my list, for comparison.

1. To keep all my money.

We've been going crazy with guides at the Mighties as a lot of people actually enjoy buying people thoughtful presents during this season. Here's what we have so far.

At Mighty Junior.

The Teacher's Gift Guide.

The Handmade Holiday Guide.

The (Accidentally) Very Red Luxury Gift Guide.

At Mighty Haus.

The Wreath Round Up

10 DIY Ideas For Neighbor Gifts

Gifts for Entertainers.

Christmas Ornament Round Up

Phew, no wonder I can't come up with anything to say here.

Comments

[HouseofJules]

I laughed so hard about the hand-holding that I snorted a little. There should be an award for awkward interactions. Like the time I was working as a consultant (freelance, but on-site) graphic designer and we had a major, shut-down-the-roadways snowstorm. I had only been at the design firm for 3 weeks of my 3 month stint, and the project manager was HOT. The office closed early and just before everyone left, we were looking out the huge picture window to see how bad the traffic was (tremendously bad). The hot project manager was walking in the room as a few of us were walking out, and had his arms outstretched. I failed to notice that he was doing some kind of stretching thing until the millisecond AFTER I went in for a hug. Awkward doesn't quite cover it. Then I alternated between laughing and crying in my car for the next 5 hours I was stuck in the storm/traffic. Good times.
Jules
House of Jules

[melissaS]

Oh my God. That is so so so funny. I want someone to create a website just sharing people's awkward moments. They never fail to make me laugh hysterically.

Someone emailed me a great story of another handshake gone bad and I laughed until I was nearly crying.

[Joy]

And to tie the hand-holding and insomnia together, check out this New Yorker cartoon I just posted on my office wall yesterday.

"I'll take 'Why did I do that?' for $50, Alex."

[Sarah]

Ah yes, The Awkward. Like when at the end of the evening a friend's wife bent down towards me on the sofa. I thought she was saying goodbye, so I kissed her on the cheek, but it turned out she was just picking up her bag.

[Tonya]

That was funny! BUT I had a hard time concentrating on anything you wrote after the part about getting up at 8am, having forty minutes to feed them and then waiting ten minutes for time to leave. What time does school start and end?? The late bell at my child's school rings at 7:50, and I've never heard of a start time much after 8. Not having to drag my daughter out of bed at 6:30 kicking and screaming would be a dream come true.

[Heather]

You just ruined it for me. I always totally thought we could like hang out or something in that stupid blogworld fantasy kind of way.

Then reading this? I realized I'm a Logan. I just recently realized the brilliance and satisfaction of working from 530-8 in the morning before my husband leaves for work.

I think you can get most of Maddie's shopping done at Costco, even the fake FurReal puppy and cheap Acer laptop. Cope find me in 4 years time and I will totally be having this same dilemma. Until then ponies, princesses and matchbox cars are enough to get me off the hook without killing the budget. Those Mighty guides look awesome!

[Garnigal]

My abs hurt from the mental image of Robot!Logan having a brief handholding moment with Sarah's* dad.

Most excellent.

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

Your handholding story was hysterical and Jules' comment was the icing on the cake.

[MIss Grace]

I saw the awkward hand-holding tweet last night, and it gave me a little snort. The full description is even better.

[the Mayor]

From all accounts I've read I have to be at least a decade or more ahead of you and I'm still waiting for the raging to get up early syndrome to hit me. When I'm wide awake at midnight, knowing my alarm will go off at 6:15 I'm praying for the ability to go to bed earlier. So don't purchase a rocking chair yet.

But I guess I should mention I am a bit of an insomniac. When someone responds to my complaint of being tired with, "why don't you just go to bed earlier?" I often fantasize about putting my hands around their neck and squeezing.

As a fellow Detroiter I'm guessing the "Insomnia Jeopardy" cartoon mentioned by Joy may explain a lot.

[HouseofJules]

Melissa: I'm totally with you on the need for an awkward moments website. I have plenty to pull from, and after this post I wrote about the hugging incident on my own blog. I'm thinking it could be a weekly feature easily. Between us it could be 3 times/week at least. If you want to start something like this, let me know. I'm in!
Jules
House of Jules

[Amy F.]

My son keeps asking me why I'm laughing so hard. That interaction between Logan and the other dad is so hilarious and awkward. I'm glad he had a very human moment (and you were there to witness it!). Now maybe he can relate to his wife better?!

[Jerri Ann]

I haven't commented here in ages but...when I was looking at your guide for Mighty whatchamacallit, I wanted to chime in as a teacher............my absolute favorite gifts when I taught (which was several years ago in fact) my favorite gifts were christmas ornaments, even the cheap ones from Walmart where they will put the kids name and year on it.......I get all crazy when I hang that box of ornaments every year...no kidding....

So, I thought I would throw that in there for you....as if you care what I think....

So, while you are not caring what I think...I"m going to shamelessly *while hanging my head* ask you to come over to my christmas contests and invite your readerss to join us...

www.momecentric.com
www.momisteaching.com
www.educationuncensored.com

*head bowed low"

[Jemima]

Just wanted to say, as a teacher? I would not be all that excited about any of those gifts (especially the $78 ones! Holy cow!). I actually ask my students to not buy me anything - if they insist on gifting me, I'd love for them to buy supplies for the classroom, so that I don't have to keep spending my own money on them. If they're buying gifts for me, I second Jerri Ann - Christmas decorations are great. "World's Greatest Teacher", apple-themed, blah blah blah stuff... it's like, do you give lawyers Legal Briefs coffee mugs? Yes? Ugh.

I know you probably don't care what I think and that's alright... just wanted to add my 2 cents.

[Cat]

I'm having a hard time parting with my money this year as well. Good luck!

[Missi]

I'm a teacher, and I like the gifts. I think they're really cute, but I have to say that my favorite teacher gift is a gift card!