Moving. 2009 Edition

Last year as we passed into 2008 I was terrified of leaving 2007 behind. I still think 2007 was one of those high water marks for me. Even with the part where I nearly died trying to remove wall paper from the kitchen walls and spent a couple of weeks using a port-a-john in the driveway while we remodeled the bathroom of the old house. We struggled and succeeded, it was a year of working hard and reaching goals. It felt good.

In 2008 we've been in this great place and almost every day looked around and been happy, thrilled even, with where we are.

Back in September our financial landscape changed a great deal and after looking around at comparable housing in our area, we realized this house is both too much for our revised budget and too much for what it is (even with that lovely water feature in the basement....some might call it flooding. Our landlord calls it "a pool"!) in this housing market. (Plus our landlord is what one might call "delusional".)

Additionally, as I mentioned this week, I have a bigger move in mind and we have to make some cuts around here to make that happen. A move is necessary.

We found a house this week, it's a perfectly lovely home. With all the same 1920's charm we loved in our last house with a new kitchen, a beautiful oak banister and basement we can use as a room for the kid's crap. It's smaller than where we live now, but I've always known this house was bigger than we needed and if we move to a city like Portland we'll probably have to live in something smaller anyway. It's good not to get used to more space.

There's plenty of room to entertain, a great deck in back, and a mudroom off the porch. It's actually in the town of Royal Oak, where we can walk a block to shop and go to dinner. There's a park across the street and our new potential (we haven't signed anything yet) landlords tell us there are a few kids on our block. So it's not bleak, we're not moving to a van down by the river. By a lot of accounts we're blessed (even if there is a McDonald's two blocks down on the corner of our street....almost as good as a puppy according to the kids.)

Best of all we'll save a lot of money living there, and that will allow us to move toward other goals we have a lot faster.

And that is good, really good. Still I drove home crying after we saw the house. Logan kept saying, "Is this the wrong house?" And it's not. It's as good as it's getting right now, but it's not here, in the dream house (even with the water in the basement, it's still a dream house). It's my dream neighborhood, with all the things I've come to love about living in a community with people who, in spite of their wacky political leanings (kidding! Sort of!), make me feel at home.

On the other hand, we're so lucky we get to make this choice. I'm so glad we didn't buy. Logan said yesterday this is just a trial run for when we are able to leave Michigan altogether. It's a good middle step, we're not leaving our friends and family behind, we're just moving across town.

This is going to be a good move.

I know we're making the right move. Sometimes doing the right thing is really, really hard.

Comments

[nelking]

It sucks being all grown up and making smart decisions doesn't it?

I wish you all the luck in 2009 and if you do get to Portland someday, let me know if you need anything.

[Lisa V]

The dream changes, so the dream house has to change with it. Sounds like you guys are making a good move for the right reasons. Sorry about the bumps with it.

[Peeved Michelle]

The thing I like about moving often is that it keeps you from accumulating too much crap.

[grace]

I'm so happy you guys did the ridiculously hard work when you did to sell your house last year. And I went back and read it and geeze, what a roller coaster. We got my dad's house remodeled and sold seconds before the bubble collapsed. I just start sweating when I think where we'd be right now. On the other hand, my mom's house we JUST finished and yeah, that's not going so well... Ug. I'm sorry you are leaving dream neighbors and moving again, but glad that you are renting right now.

[jessica mae]

i hear you on the "doing the right thing is really, really hard" (although you didn't add the "f'ing hard" part I would have). i made a move out west to support a dream of my partners, and even though at the beginning i wasn't keen on it (who am i kidding, i HATED it), looking back now, i know it was the best decision i ever made.

[kimblahg]

but if it were really your dream house, it would come minus the asshat landlord. you'll find the perfect place in the perfect town- this is just a step.

[Melissa Summers]

I know. I'll be meditating on that thought as I pack this house up to leave.

This is the right decision. This is the right decision. This is the right decision.

[Meg McG]

You have to wake up from a really good dream to give yourself the time and brain food to make an even BETTER dream tomorrow.

Good luck.

The whole meaning of life is to make improvements - better the planet, make children who are better than us, be better parents than what we had, make strides in work, turn materials into art, instruments and thoughts into music. Its what we are compelled to do as people.

If the new move sucks I'm sure your current landlord will piss off the new tenants and you can always move back!

[Tara]

Still in Royal Oak? With a McDonald's on the corner? You may very well be looking at a house on my Grandma's street! If so, it's a lovely neighborhood that I'm sure you will love, too!

[HomeSlice]

is it okay to say i'm a little jealous of living in royal oak? i love it there. i'm impressed with your ability to make those temporary sacrifices - i'm not so good with that myself.

[William]

Even though it is hard ..it is the right thing.

A kid's crap room is always nice to have.

[kbreints]

The across town move it the hardest logistic wise, but a good step towards your goal for sure! At least when you go to move out of state you will not be leaving your dream home AND your friends too.

Congratulations on finding it and making the next step!

[Amanda Mandajuice]

Isn't sacrifice meant to be good for the soul or some crap like that?

All I know is that we're looking forward to having you up here in Portland.

[d-michigan]

Will the kids chnage school? Congrats on the move it is hard to move yet you can become anyone you want in your next town.We moved from california to Michigan 14 years a ago and never looked back. best wishes

[Amy]

Good luck on the move...you will wonder for awhile if you've made the right decision, but if you've made it with Logan and it feels good in your gut....then it's right.

Also, it's impossible that the house you're in now is the dream house since it comes with that landlord.

[kate]

It's great that you and Logan are willing to "leap" and make these hard decisions in order to change your lives. Really. A lot of "grown ups" won't take those risks, make those choices because of fear. We thought nothing of doing these things when we were in our 20s, you know? This is brave, very brave and it IS the right decision. Good things are comin' your way.

Portland, Maine or Portland, OR??? Either way, woohoooo!!!!

[Erin]

Yay to Portland. I assume you mean Portland, OR from your recent visit out here. I LOVE it here, and I hope you will to. Great schools, beautiful summers, and access to beaches, mountains, and beautiful green everywhere!

[martin]

Royal oak is nice. But it scares me because I am a mailman, and royal oak post office was the scene of a shooting by a postal worker of his supervisor. That changed how management treats the employees nationally. But I hope it works for you and the family, you seem really genuine

[mandible]

We're building a house five minutes from where we live right now. It's going to be beautiful, we picked everything, and the mortgage will be cheaper than our rent right now. But most all of the friends I've made in the year we've lived here live in THIS neighborhood. I'm sad and happy too, and really, it's only FIVE MINUTES AWAY. I understand how hard it is to be grown up.

Are we talking Portland, OR (great choice) or Portland, Maine (no experience with this town so no opinion)?

[Emily]

Apparently, you have a lot of fans in Portland. I happen to be another one. Best of luck with your move and hopefully, we will see you in our amazing (liberal!) city some day soon!!

[lizneust]

We're in a not dissimilar situation right now. It IS the right choice, even though it's an adjustment.

Also, do the kids have to change schools? Ours did, and I was really worried about that. However, they once again proved that Mama doesn't know what she's talking about - they LOVE the new school. Good luck and best wishes.

[kari]

As a former Michigander, I'm practically quivering with excitement that you... might... move out here? If things work out?

The tough move before hand, the sacrifice, is what makes it all worthwhile. Much better than paying off debt for seven years, like we did.

[Assertagirl]

Making short-term sacrifices can be easier when there's an ultimate goal in mind, but transition between homes is never easy, physically or emotionally. Best of luck in the 2009 move!

[Kiki Smith]

Hi. I've been lurking for, um, years, maybe? Yes, probably years. Anyway, I moved here to Portland, OR from Ann Arbor 4 1/2 yrs ago. I love it here. When we drove across the Michigan border towards our new home state, I rolled down the windows and yelled to the passerby's "the borders are open! you can leave whenever you want to! let's go!" Michigan was hard. Good luck with the big decisions. Sometimes movement in any direction is better than staying stuck where you are...

[ER]

Is there advertising business in Portland? It's a very depressed economy.

[Another Melissa]

2 1/2 years ago we made a move for financial and career reasons - we needed more money and my husband HATED his job. We left a fine 2400 sq ft home (sold for break even) and lived in a crappy 1200 sq ft apartment with noisy neighbors. I was miserable and had monthly, ok weekly, breakdowns thinking we made the biggest mistake of our lives. Last month, we bought a lovely home in a great neighborhood in our new town. My husband is SO much happier (he's like a different person) in his job and I am making more money than at the job I left. It's like having a new husband and new life. It may be hard along the way, but know you will be ok. If you know it's the right thing, you will be fine in the end.

[amyp]

I am so hoping that the sale of my husband's inexplicably still-profitable company goes through so we can afford to take a HUGE loss on our house and move away from Michigan. We've been discussing cities for a couple of years. Politics, climate, and healthy lifestyle are our biggest factors. Portland is on our list as well.

The one thing I am worried about is getting the perfect fit with our next house. I know what it's like to be in a neighborhood that looks great on paper, but fails miserably upon closer inspection.

[Chris]

I went to college in Portland and then moved back there with my husband after law school. Lived there for 10 yrs before heading north to Seattle. If Portland, OR is the Portland you are referring to, you'll love it. Your kids will love it. If Logan wants a name to send his resume to at Weiden + Kennedy, I might be able to help him out. And I know great people there who would love to welcome you with open arms and huge smiles.

[Franca Bollo]

Portland? Mighty Girl know about this? I thought for sure she'd be insisting you move to San Francisco. But then you'd have to live in a one-bedroom flat and park on the street. At least your neighbors will be politically like-minded!

Whatever you decide to do, you'll make it work. And as they say in your potential future home, just do it.

[Cat]

I just said last night that I'm hoping like hell 2009 is the year when we DON'T move. Swear to god, collectively we've moved 6 times in 5 years. ENOUGH.

Good for you, it's exciting, it's an adventure, and it sounds like a good move. Selling my home and moving into a tiny apartment SUCKED. SUCK SUCK. But I am SO FREAKING THANKFUL I don't own a home right now. I'd be drowning in payments.

[carosgram]

Sometimes life s*cks. Sounds like you are making the best of a bad situation and that's all anyone can do. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

[donnamae]

Well at least you can get rid of your cleaning lady -- if you ever got one in the first place. If you're gonna make a big move do it now instead of later because later never comes. It's the same philosophy as waiting until you have enough money saved, a house bought and your career stable before having children -- you do that, and you'll never have kids. Or you'll wait a long time. The older you get, the harder it is to change jobs/careers, the kids don't want to move and leave their friends, and the older you get, the harder it will be for you to leave family and friends --- unless of course it's a company transfer and the company pays all your moving and housing expenses. Moving cross country is expensive -- we've done it. And if I had my choice today? I'd move back home in a heart beat -- I can't because it's too expensive and my graphic artist husband just doesn't make that kind of money. I say stay in the "dream home" until the economy recovers and then BUY your "dream home" where your friends and family live. The grass isn't always greener on the other side -- I know, I've lived it. Good luck no matter what though.

[Elle]

Melissa, I am so impressed and inspired by your ability to set these huge goals and then actually follow through. From deciding to get out of debt and manage your finances, to unloading the old house and making your way to the dream neighborhood, to embracing the joy in your accomplishments over this last year, you have managed to achieve success with some major goals in mind. Although the individual steps necessary to get there may be tough, I have no doubt that you will be just as successful in making this new dream come true. Best of luck!

[Sara]

Best of luck this year! Your decisions are honorable; I'm not sure I could make them as confidently.
And, of course, I will join the (growing) Portland welcome wagon when you make it West!

[Miss Grace]

I hate moving (the process), but when it's the right thing to do, I think it's just great!

hey, we plan on moving to Portland as well... Max and Oliver could totally hang just like it was kindergarden all over again, only better

[Julie]

As a former Midwesterner transplanted to the PAC NW, you could not come to a nicer place. I am in rural W. Washington but if I were to ever go back to a city, Portland (OR) it would be.

[califmom]

I think this is an example of what they call 'being a grown up', which means it's the right and mature thing to do, but isn't necessarily what the younger you would have done.

I admire your 'grown up-ness' and wish I had a bit more of it.

[Carol]

Yup -- you should definitely head west. Pacific Northwest! We'd love to have you, of course. But it might take a while to adjust. Detroit is really, really far from here... in so many ways!

Carol

Sounds like a good step towards a great goal. I moved to Portland, OR eight years ago from Utah, and oh my god, the chemistry? That city fits me like a glove. I've never loved a place or felt more at home. The people are wonderful, the city is fantastic, the restaurants and music and art....love it.

We had to move to Seattle this summer for work. As fun as Seattle is, it's not Portland.

Good luck! And thanks for letting me peak into your life. You voice so many of the thoughts I've had about motherhood.

[Ani]

This doesn't have to be the right house, it just needs to be the right-now house. And if it helps you get closer to your dream of change, then it is certainly the right thing to do.

Best of luck in 09

[Sara]

Best of luck with the move. It seems the Portland welcome wagon is already gearing up for a possible migration in this direction! Wherever you end up, I know you'll make it wonderful.

[Caroline]

I think you'll love Royal Oak. It's a great area. Being so close to downtown will be great!

[MiniHipster.com]

Moving is typically, at least in my experience, a big pain in the ass! It does, however, force you to assess your possessions to either keep or throw - not a position I would generally look forward to, but am always thankful for once accomplished.

Good luck, Melissa!

www.MiniHipster.com

[Diane]

Hey there - I LOVE Michigan!!! Of course I live in the southwest corner, but I LOVE it, even if we are covered with two feet of snow right now - this is the best, this is what winter should be!!!

But good for you with setting goals and stuff, and making sacrifices - whooo - I am not good at that stuff. Anyway - goodluck with the move - hope your new home works out well!

Hugs from the other side of Michigan - Diane