Where I ruin Logan's dating life. *Again*

In my last post, I didn't mean to imply we're doing bad really. We're fine. Just nervous. If you live in Detroit things have been depressed for a long time. It's scary to think how much worse it will get. A lot of you have only now started to see the effects of the drooping economy. I feel like we've been living with it for the last two years.

The looming automotive turmoil affects about 80-90% of the people I know in a very direct and pressing way. As in, they could break for the holidays and not be able to go back to work.

It leaves one feeling decidedly un-festive. But no, we are fine. More than fine. We are blessed. I just want a simple Christmas this year because it feels wrong to part with my money when things are so...unsettled.

Here's something more fun though.

Last night I got to go out with Logan. We went to his bowling league. You're thinking, "Lame Date." You're right! But you carve out the time where you can when you're married to a robot.

It was fun and all the people who come over to play cards were there so I got to be social which is nice when your coworkers are two really lazy cats.

At the end of the evening, after hearing the name Logan from another team's table quite a bit (a group of men and women), one of the men at the table yelled across the room, "Logan! Logan! Are you single!?"

I never go with Logan to his bowling games, it's not high on my priority list. But on the one night I come, someone's well meaning friend decides to help her make the first move on my (incredibly attractive) husband. And there I am.

So Logan replies...uh...this is my wife.

And the poor girl at that table....her head burst into flames of embarrassment. I laughed and laughed because...of all the nights he's been at this stupid bowling league and I've not been there. They picked this night to ask him if he was single.

That poor girl.

Now if I were a different sort of woman, maybe I would get upset. Maybe even a little "jealous". If I was from a different side of town, perhaps I would threaten this girl with physical violence.

Instead I just felt so badly for her. So bad that I kind of wanted to go over to her, put my arm around her shoulder and say, "I know, he really is terribly handsome and quietly confident....and between you and me, amazing in bed. But listen, you should know, he has also been known to run until he can't control his bowels. And he thinks that's "okay"."

I think that would have made her feel a lot better about his marital status.

Comments

[kbreints]

That is quite funny! I would have felt bad for her too...

[Why Mom Drinks Rum]

Oh that poor girl! I agree...no need for a smack-down or evil-glare unless she knows that he's married and flirts anyway.

Then it's ON!

Unless she's ugly. Then it's just kind of funny in a sad clown kind of way.

Only clowns aren't funny.

[Jenny]

All of these months, she's probably been admiring him from afar.....she's been thinking that if someone that is attrative and single that there is hope for her. And then he shows up and there is an extra person at the bowling league.

Pretty funny stuff.

[Emmy]

Haha I love it! It's a good thing you're so nice, since Logan's so stunningly handsome. At least he runs till he poops, that would scare off most people...

[Ashley Gailey]

I teeter between totally freaking out and moderate concern about the whole possible implosion of the auto industry. However, those fluctuations swing about every 15 minutes. It's really hard living in the Detroit metro area right now. My body is tired from being so stressed out and I sleep like the dead now. I have pretty much come to the realization that there is nothing I can do about the situation. It is out of my control. My hubs and I will both lose our jobs if the autos go down, so it is scary.

On less depressing topics, I think that story is quite funny. I do feel for that girl though. I would have keeled over and died right there if that happened to me. Can you imagine?!? Gah!

[Lisame]

How flattering!

[anonsb]

I love that you totally played it cool! I know WAY too many women who woulda flipped.

[Heather]

Serendipitously hilarious that you were there for that gaffe.
Here in Philly it's all: hey let's close the pools, the rec centeres, the libraries, um everything fun!
I totally get what you meant and what you mean---would be better to have things a little festive all year long, than lots o' festive now and really quite effin' depressing next year. Pulling for Detroit even if we drive Hondas.

[Meg]

Oh I am cringing for her! She must have wanted to hide in the bathroom.

[De in D.C.]

"Logan! Logan! Are you single!?"
L: "I don't know; let me ask my wife. Liss, am I single?"
M: "Not this week!"

Glad you had a good time at date night, even if it was a date during bowling league.

[Coma Girl]

Very funny!

I just tell my adorable husband to say how many kids he has (5!) and that will pretty much keep any sane woman away.

[jenny]

gah! i bet she wanted to crawl under the table! that kind of thing would have totally made me smile, then grab my hubby's butt. haha! :)

[Ali]

You're a better person than I am.

[beyond]

funny story and very flattering for you. haven't been here for a visit in a while, good to know you still make me chuckle...

[Erika]

That is hilarious!! Poor girl.

[Lauren]

So laughing out loud at the bowls comment...funny!

[Miss Grace]

Ack! Ouch.

[Another Melissa]

That's too funny. I had a similar experience when my husband was a scuba instructor. The girls flirting with him had no idea I was his wife until I started loading his gear into my car when they were inviting him to dinner! I just laughed! They were embarrassed but we all ended up going to dinner together!

[HouseofJules]

You are SO funny! This cracked me up to no end...
Jules
House of Jules

[Molly]

Wow, totally awkward. Love it!

[pharmgirl]

Awww man..

that poor girl!

If that had happended to the pharmboy, I would have had to butter his head to get him into the car!

[pharmgirl]

AAAnnd pharmboy's married to an idiot who cannot spell.

YIKES! So sorry!

[Jen]

I admire you...I'd be a little jealous, but I'm one of those girls from the other side of town...just kidding....I feel bad for the girl too because she probably waited weeks to get the nerve to mention it to someone. Yikes!

I tend to err on the side of jealous, but I enjoy a good throw down at the bowling alley too. It's how I roll...

[Jen]

Ok Melissa...I just re-read my comment and realized it was full of puns, none intended..."throw down", "bowling alley", "it's how I roll"....get it? Yeah, I didn't either until like two minutes later...sigh, I need to go to bed.

[Alcie]

Awww! There's no way to get out of situations like that quietly - I think that your scenario would have at least given the poor girl something else to think about (albeit a somewhat disturbing something else, depending on how vivid her imagination is.)

For some reason I thought Logan was a wedding ring-wearer. I have NO idea where that assumption came from, but if he was one, you'd be out one good story.

[Jessi Louise]

That's good stuff. You're right, if you were from another side of town there would be a full-on Jerry Springer throw-down after that. Or at least a tussle.

[Bill]

But what about Logan?
He just got, um, blocked, you know.

[Sam]

Love your post (and site) - live in A2 and hubby works for the autos so completely relate on the economy front. Looking for the picture of your front porch decorated for Christmas last year for inspiration for me this year - any help?

[Mary]

Uh-oh, is it time to break out the "man saving panties"?

[die Frau]

Hah! Alcie, the wedding ring is sometimes the REASON women come over. Sad but true.

My husband will go out every once in a while with single friends and start talking to the hottest girl in the place to get her to chat with his friend. He says it's great because he knows he's coming home to me, so he has no fear of talking to her. Whenever he tells me they hit on him, I give him a high-five and then threaten to beat the sh*t out of the girl (jokingly, of course).

But really I'm kind of smug that my husband gets hit on and then comes home to me. Am I a smarmy beeyotch for feeling that way? Maybe it's because we were both ugly ducklings for so long that I'm proud of both of us.

What I'm trying to write is that HE's the lucky one, too, you know. :-)

[JP]

Oh, that poor girl.

(But oh, how you made me laugh!)

[Deb]

THAT is hilarious! It's my first time reading your blog, and I'm really enjoying it...incredibly funny.