A little magical potpourri.

So I've gone from suggesting Logan go to hell for disposing of my soda to gritting my teeth and trying not to send angry emails to the landlord. I can't wait until we're gone from this house and then, have spent six months in court fighting to get our security deposit back and then, finally, I'll get to regale the Internet with the Tale of the Landlord.

**********

Have you all heard of Let Me Google That For You? I was telling a friend about it and how it frustrates me when Logan will ask me a question, and I Google it for him (because his computer doesn't get Google, I assume) or when the Internet is looking for a certain post, like, say, the one about Blow Job and Steak Day (everyone forgets when it is!). I find it by typing Blow Job And Steak Day Suburbanbliss and voila!

Last night I was helping Maddie with her homework while chatting with a friend via IM. We were wondering what the word for words that sound the same, but aren't, was. Even though I was sitting there on my computer I did the annoying thing and asked "Hey, what's the name for words that sound the same but aren't?"

She sent this link back in reply.

Nice. It reminded of me of the time in college I was going on and on to a friend how much I hate when people don't use proper grammar....and she paused and said, "I have to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out. You spell grammar wrong, it's not grammer." I'd been spelling it that way, for my entire life. (And no, Internet, let's not chat about all the other grammar and spelling mistakes I make on this website. That would be about 20 times over the dumping of the soda, and I am a little on the edge right now. I have the eye twitch to prove it.)

February is going to be a lot more pleasant for the Summers.

********

I have a few pictures from our New Year's Eve party. You know, the one where we let 20 kids loose in our house and see who loses an eye? No one lost an eyeball, though we had one close call. Also the cats tried to kill one small guest with their fur and her eyes. Oops! Allergies.

I only have a few pictures from the night because well I was having fun....so I didn't take a lot of pictures.

Here are Maddie and Erin. Maddie and Erin became friends in preschool when Maddie was nearly 3 and Erin was 3. Next year they will go to the same middle school and are very excited to be reunited after five years at separate elementary schools. My friend Chrissy and I are convinced that together they're going to keep playing with Littlest Pet Shop stuff and never express and interest in boys or drugs. Fingers Crossed!

A couple years ago I read about letting kids stomp on bubble wrap to ring in the new year. As exciting as confetti only less aggravating. (Kids + Juice + Adults Drinking + Confetti = Massive Mess). After a few years I've finally figured out you don't want the little bubbles, you want the big ones. This would also work for any party, at a little kids bubble themed party perhaps.

To keep the kids from freaking out and popping the bubble wrap before midnight, we blocked the entry ways with chairs. So they all spent the last 15-20 minutes of 2008 staring longingly at bubble wrap.

Later, we decided to play Guitar Hero. This is Tom, my friend Leslie's husband. Tom is Logan's Co-Den Mother of the cub scouts.

I used to be able to beat Tom at Guitar Hero. This made me feel good because he generally decimates me in political debates. But then I taught him the trick about getting the highest scores and now, he kills me. Especially after a few libations. Ahem. Here I am regretting my decision to tell him my secret.

Here's the aftermath of the party. I think it explains a lot about how Fraternity Parties end up so messy. They invite 20 kids under ten and they destroy the house.

The kitchen I'd like to blame on the kids too, but no, that wouldn't be fair.

I blame that on the cats.

Comments

[Kelli]

I LOVE the bubble wrap idea!!!!

[Ginny]

When I was in college, after the soaps, ABC would run these public service dealies with Hal Linden called FYI...my favorite one was Hal advising you how to talk to your daughter about getting her period. "Don't call it the curse!" Hal would counsel. "The beginning of menstruation is a wonderful time in a girl's life." I'd mock him everyday because he'd say "menstruation," because, of course, it was MENUSTRATION....only, of course, it isn't. A friend finally asked me why *I* kept saying it wrong. I was 18. And had been menstruating for 5 years.

[ikate]

Oh boy, I'm going to be sending "let me google that you for you" links to so many of my co-workers. I can't tell you how many times the send me stupid, easily googled questions. I'm so excited!

[Erika]

I have a certain sympathy w/ the grammar/grammer thing. I pronounced "infirmary" as "infirmirary" until about senior year in college, when a friend finally set me straight. Apparently I never actually *looked* at the word...

[Colleen]

What IS the Guitar Hero trick that lets you score a lot a points?

I promise I won't tell anybody...

[Nichole]

The bubble wrap idea is fabulous. You're such a good mom/hostess.

[Sara]

Your parties look so fun! Hope the move goes well.

[Carmen]

Holy crap I want your kitchen.

[smallstatic]

So how does a 32 year old woman become a cub scout these days?

[reminisceheirlooms]

Love love love the bubble wrap idea!

[sbk]

Let me know if you need to commiserate. We had to consult a (free!) lawyer to handle our Royal Oak landlord and pry our security deposit from his cranky, ignorant hands.

[Wallydraigle]

Until about a month ago, I thought "victuals" was pronounced "VIC-tyoo-ulls". And that "vittles" was some vernacular pronunciation. Nope. "Vittles" is the actual pronunciation. I felt really stupid.

Also, I know you're moving out, but I might strangle a puppy for your kitchen.

[Heather]

Now, have those same kids back over. Pass out the bubble wrap and have a pack my house party! Their parents can help too. For the life of me I can never spell expirement/experiment. Here's to February!

[Trisha]

What IS the Guitar Hero trick that lets you score a lot a points?

[Ginny]

OMG, Wallydraigle! I had no idea...victuals is one of those (many) words I've read and never heard anyone say...or so I thought. And, sadly, I was an English major.

[Anne]

I'm with Ginny, I had no clue about Wally's info! What's that ua in there for then if not to be pronounced? And if victuals is pronounced vittles then why is usual not ussel or something? These are the conundrums that occupy my mind.

[Becky]

Man, that is a gorgeous kitchen! I mean, aside from the mess. I'm sure that's about the last thing you want to hear with the landlord and the moving and all, but, um, be-YOU-ti-ful!

[melissaS]

Yeah, look at that kitchen and just imagine how unreasonable and unpleasant the Landlord must be.

I still love this house. I'm sad to go. But not sad to have this man out of my life.

[cassie o]

so ... i definitely followed the link all.three.times.

[HouseofJules]

Let Me Google That For You is my new favorite thing. I have SO MANY PEOPLE to send it to! Hilarious... thanks, M!
Jules
House of Jules

[aimee]

I was home today with a pukey kid and that link totally made my day. Thanks :)

[Tricia]

You so don't have to answer this question if you don't want to because I completely understand dealing with cranky ass landlords, but have you guys considered trying to buy the house that you're in now? I know you adore the neighborhood and the house looks so nice.

You've mentioned the water in the basement but would that be easily fixable? My thought process being that in this current housing market, where the house might sit vacant for quite awhile if(when) you guys move, maybe he'd be willing to sell? Or are you guys well beyond that and/or already tried?

[Tricia]

Oh...and I'm probably just projecting my own hatred of moving which is why I'm asking the question above.

Also, want to know the secret to Guitar Hero! Share...or sell it to me. :-)

[melissaS]

All these questions will be answered when we're done.

But I will say, we've offered to buy the house. He didn't like our price, he wouldn't give us a price and as we've seen OVER AND OVER the man is not aware of the way real estate works. As in, a house doesn't have inherent value. It has value based on what other homes are selling for.

It may go into foreclosure, we may be willing to purchase the house from the bank, but I would never go into negotiations with this man. (Also, I am very reluctant to buy in Michigan, but this is a house I love. Even with the water problem. A $3000-$5000 repair)

He's awful and I knew it from the minute we signed the original lease.

[Traci]

Another great party idea for kids is fill a small swimming pool with sawdust or sad and then mix in loose change. Kids can't get enough of the treasure find and eventually adults cheer on the kids and end up tossing in change also. It works great to have small dollar store prizes and for the winner of finding the lucky coins ie parking tokens or 50 cent pieces.

[Del]

I'm still stuck on MADDIE IS GOING TO MIDDLE SCHOOL NEXT YEAR. Oh my God.

[Double D]

Ahem......Guitar Hero secret???

[Tricia]

Ah, Melissa, I can totally empathize, then. When we bought our current house, the owner was very emotionally attached to it as it was the house he grew up in and moved into after his father died. This house sat on the market for months (this all transpired right before the bubble burst) because he has it ridiculously overpriced and we made what we thought was a reasonable offer based on the neighborhood comps. Throughout the process, he continually nickeled and dimed and our response was that we didn't have to move as we could easily not buy his house and just add on to the one we currently owned. To this day, I'm convinced he thinks we really got one over on him when in reality, we made a very fair and reasonable offer especially given the amount of work we've had to do to the house since we've owned it.

I'm sure your at the point to just be through with the crazy landlord and on to a new start someplace else.

[Deb]

I've GOT to know the secret to scoring higher on Guitar Hero...please, please share? :)

[Kelly W.]

Have you used ChaCha?? You can text them a question and they will look it up for you and text the answer back! I always know where the cheapest gas is and what the weather will be. I also know that a Blue Whale has the largest penis on the planet.

ChaCha - 242424.

Enjoy!

[michelle @ TNS]

i want to do the bubble-wrap thing at MY next new years' party.

but then i got distracted by your kitchen. your beautiful kitchen, than i totally want.

[michelle @ TNS]

i want to do the bubble-wrap thing at MY next new years' party.

but then i got distracted by your kitchen. your beautiful kitchen, than i totally want.

[michelle @ TNS]

sorry for the double post, but i just remembered that i, too, must know the guitar hero secret.

or i should just buy rock band, because i can rock the SHIT out of "wanted dead or alive."

[michelle @ TNS]

i want to do the bubble-wrap thing at MY next new years' party.

but then i got distracted by your kitchen. your beautiful kitchen, than i totally want.

[Amy]

OK! I GOOGLED IT FIRST! It was no help! What's the secret to high scores on GH3??

[melissaS]

It's really dumb guys. Just something you might not know when you first get the game. I'd play with one of Logan's friends and we'd both get like 99% of the notes but his score was always double mine.

What you do is use your star power strategically. You know how when you play so many notes in a row correctly, you see the little x2, x3 and x4?

Use your star power when your score is being multiplied by 4's.....then it's x8.

Until you mess up then you're back to x2.

[kbreints]

Looks like a good time! I hope tha tyou left the mess until morning!

[Slim]

I know this is annoying, but I can't stop (as the owner of a house with a formerly leaky basement and a previous owner who was a total moron. also patronizing, as a bonus).

If shoveling snow away from the base of house keeps the basement from leaking, you probably don't need French drains (the $3K-$5K solution, I'm guessing). The house needs proper grading around the foundation, which is a fairly cheap DIY project, although only for a house you actually own. Otherwise, write obscenities in chalk that will get washed away the next time the basement leaks. Oh, wait, that's for the childish and bitter. Have me over, and I'll do it.

[melissaS]

No, this is a problem all over our neighborhood. The grading is fine. It's unreasonable to shovel the grass surrounding the house (and I guarantee that would not solve this issue).

The basement needs to be waterproofed, just like all the other dry basements on our side of the street have been.

[melissa]

Messy? Um, that's what we call "Wednesday" at my house.

[Stacy Foshee]

Sounds like a BLAST...I remember my parents letting me have a party for New Years one year...now that I have kids I think they must have been OUT OF THEIR MINDS...or just wanted to keep an EYE on me!
Your blog has SO MUCH Attitude that I just had to nominate it for the Lemonade Award....see my blog if you want to play along....

[Andrea]

Thank you.

No, seriously. Thank you.

Now maybe, just maybe, I can put an end to my mother's incessant computer tech support questions.

Which, like so many other questions, are very easy to google.

Plus, when my mother starts to google her inane computer questions instead of asking me, she'll get answers without attitude. What more could she ask for?

(Now she'll probably die or have something terrible happen, since I've publicly aired my irritation with her incessant emails...then I'll feel guilty in general, plus even more so when I use google!)

[fakir]

My best friend dont want to come to me and talk to me please solve this problem magically.