But seriously, why did he throw out the soda?

I got an email from a friend yesterday. She mentioned how positive I'm being about this move, how she'd be pouting and unhappy. Last night I mulled around that option, pouting, because if you've read this website for a few years you know I am the kind of person who likes a good pouting session. I've even been known to wallow, for weeks at a time.

I don't know, pouting just isn't working for me.

Another thing that hasn't worked is having inane arguments with Logan.

The other night, after we'd pretty much decided we were going to sign a lease on the new place, we sat down with the kids to watch a movie all cuddled up on the sofa and let everything kind of sink in. At the end of the movie, something scared the cat off our collective laps and sent her leaping over the table.

And I don't know, but Logan and I swear she paused mid-air and threw Logan's glass of bourbon all over the rug. Then she flipped us off and ran away leaving our rug reeking like bourbon.

We started cleaning up the mess, full of resentment and unspoken stress.

While cleaning up I noticed Logan had emptied the soda I bought earlier. And for some reason, the tossing of that soda, the soda I was looking forward to drinking the next morning, the soda I hadn't even opened yet, unleashed an inexplicable reaction.

My reaction triggered Logan's reaction and our irritation and stress totally exploded over that stupid poured out soda bottle.

The conversation went like this.

"Hey, why is this soda bottle in the sink? What happened? Did it explode?"

"No."

"What happened to it?"

"MY GOD! Why are you grilling me!?"

"I'm just wondering what happened to it. I was looking forward to drinking it and now it's gone and I'm just wondering why?"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!!!"

"I'M NOT YELLING, WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? Where are you going? Don't walk away, I just want to know what happened to the soda!?"

"I poured it out."

"WHAT! Why would you do that?"

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?"

"You threw out a perfectly good soda, I'm just trying to understand why. Forget it, I'm going to bed. No, I don't want to talk about it."

(I may or may not have mumbled, "Stupid Jerk" under my breath. I may have also suggested going to hell as an option.....urrr.)

So yeah, maybe I'm not handling the stress all that well.

But at least I'm not pouting. I mean, having livid arguments about nothing but not pouting. So much better.

Comments

[Sharon]

But seriously is right...did you ever find out why he threw out a perfectly good soda? Sometimes I think stress (and monthly horomones, too, by the way) just put us in a place where we don't take any $%!#. You have a right to know what happened to your soda, dang it!

[nelking]

Why did he throw out the soda? Now, I feel like having an inane argument.

[Kellie]

I'll be honest, that would piss me off if I wasn't in the middle if a stressful situation.

It sucks. I'm sorry. I can't wait until things settle down for you.

[Laura]

Who throws out perfectly good soda? My fiance dumped half a bottle of perfectly good champagne last night. The nerve!

[melissaS]

I guess I forgot it in the freezer, so he thought it was ruined.

Aand in the spirit of Melissa Beating Dead horses...why did he think that?

Aaaaaah!!!!!

[Carrie]

Ok, now I need to know why he poured out the soda!! I am sorry!! Hope you are feeling better about things!

[Pam]

I'm sitting at our emptied out old house (2 miles from our new house) while we have a yard sale. We've a lot of soda moments in the last few weeks since we needed to find out we had to move because our landlord is a douchebag who didn't tell us he couldn't pay the mortgage anymore even though we were giving him our rent on time. Luckily we found out before the sheriff came and sent our stuff to the curb. Anyway, we've moved 4 times in the last 3 years. It blows. But you know what, we all survive.

But I am going to make my husband deal with the crap that didn't sell.

[Kellie]

In the freezer so it's bad? Interesting thought process.

[Tonya]

There'd be hell to pay here, too, if someone messed with my Coke. Gotta have the morning Coke. And, I rarely comment, but I've followed you for years and almost feel as if I know you. You are handling the move beautifully. I'm proud of you. :)

[gladys]

My husband and I have our "pepperoni snap" moments, so named for the time when my otherwise adorably tolerant and accommodating partner nearly ate my hand because I took (just one!) slice of pepperoni from his pizza. Now we laugh about the pepperoni snap, but ugh, do I hate those unreasonable fights.

Thank you very much for NOT being one of those famous bloggers (you know, the ones you git together with in other states) who refuse to post on weekend and holidays and long weeks between holidays. YES, I am off from work, but that's what we NEED you. (Or WE need YOU.)

[melissaS]

that's a weird comment. I think you're referring to my friends. I hope you're teasing

[Amy@UWM]

Sometimes being pissed about soda is just about being pissed about soda. Why did he throw it out? That would certainly piss me off...

[Missy]

Hmmm...totally random, but I always thought folks in Michigan said "pop". (I grew up in a soda area but lived there for 3+ years and could never get used to hearing "pop".)

Sorry to hear the stress is getting to you!

[MelissaS]

Well sure, it was annoying but an honest mistake. He thought if it had been frozen the carbonation would be screwed.

The escalation from both ends was a direct result of the stress of leaving a house we thought we'd be buying right now.

[ikate]

Oh my god! Why did he dump the soda? Why??? I really need to know because if my hubby did that to a Diet Coke I had purchased for the next day, there would be great gnashing of the teeth and much sex being withheld. You DO NOT mess with the soda.

[Tarin]

Weird comment? OK.

But valid.

You wax melo on the dumping of the soda, why can't I wax about the non-posting around holidays? And before you say it's your blog, you say what you want, to heck with the rest... I think there's more to it. You're the writer, we're the readers. Why isn't what I have to say important unless what I am saying is blowing wind beneath your wings and lifting you up high? And I didn't even say much that was negative, just that it's nice to have something to read when alot of bloggers aint blogging.

[kimblahg]

yeah, something would be said in our house if either one of us had dumped out the other's soda.

[kris]

i would really have freaked if someone had thrown out my pop and that was the last one. really, he is lucky to still be walking.

[melissaS]

There's a nice way to say anything, Tarin.

A "compliment" doesn't have to be given with a slam to another person.

That's all.

[Tarin]

Yes, there is a nice way to say anything. And more often than not, you chose not to say it the nicest way possible. Why should I?

And even it you did chose to say it the nicest way possible (which you don't), why does that mandate that I say it the nicest way possible? I thought the one thing I got from your blog was that the saying of it is the point.

And my point wasn't a compliment to you nor a slam to them, just a comment from a reader that you're posting while others are not. That's it.

[April]

I moved from Royal Oak to Downtown Ferndale a few years ago, because I liked the neighborhood and wanted to be able to walk to a downtown with establishments that I could actually afford to shop and dine at.

Now, I'm realizing that I'm paying a ton of money for a crap house that is falling apart just so that I can be right downtown. I just signed a lease on a place in not-near-establishments (unless you count a balloon store) that is much nicer and well-kept but I'm still angry that I won't be in such close proximity.

My stress is not manifesting itself by way of arguing, but by my flat out refusing to pack. Like if I don't, then I don't have to go away.

Meh.

[Jessica]

I don't know many people from Michigan, but you are this first i've ever heard call it soda, not pop. Awesome!

[Kristin]

I'm always glad to hear about other in-love couples' inane arguments. I'm getting married in two weeks. The past few months have been full of much inane arguing and drawn-out reconciliating. It freaks me right out.

Also, Tarin, easy does it. Deep breaths.

[Donnamae]

Can't you stay at in your dream house dream neighborhood with a rent to buy option? I just hate to see you move from the house you've so lovingly made into a home this past year. This is your dream home and it just seems sad that you have to leave. In this economy the landlord isn't going to be selling that house with the water problem anyway. You'd think he'd be willing to wheel and deal so he doesn't have the hassle of trying to sell a house in the dead of winter in this horrible market. Is he brain dead? Always better to have good, reliable renters than to make an extra buck raising the rent -- anyway that is our thought on the rental property we have. Good, dependable renters are hard to come by and you fixed that house into a really nice and pleasant home, Melissa.

[Jen]

Heh. I think the comments section is having a poured out soda moment about weekend posting.

I'll go ahead and admit that I have a special fondness in my heart for bloggers that post on the weekends. A little extra devotion for their extra devotion.

Especially after this fall when I had no free time at all and missed reading some of my blogs, it's very noticeable when I finally had a couple of weeks to read freely that suddenly there was a lot less to read!

It's kind of chicken and egg, too. I know people say they get fewer hits on weekends, but then again, there's less reason to check in when there's less to look at.

I'd have been furious about the soda. In fact, just yesterday, under no stress at all I found the 3/4 full Diet Coke in the fridge with the cap not firmly attached. You can believe someone got an earful.

[Rocat]

Tossing my soda would have nuclear-level fallout in this house, so I feel for you.

[Suebob]

I got my car window broken and robbed on Dec. 31 and I was all saintly and fine about it.

Then yesterday (Jan 3) my mom asked me to go pick up lunch for her and my dad, which put me about 15 minutes behind schedule. "Sure, fine," I said, glaring at her (a little old lady in a wheelchair). Then I went out and got in the car and started sobbing.

Yes, we are all insane in our own ways.

[Sarah]

Hooray on not buying! I remember lots of people here being all cray-cray criticizing you for not buying back in the day. We are hopefully two weeks of short saling our way out of Ypsi. My husband's job loss turned out to be the best thing that could've happened because it allowed us to be free of our beautiful, brand new, worth 50%-what-we-paid-three-years-ago home. Owning here is like owning a live grenade.

They say it's bad everywhere, but it's a special kinda' bad here.

I feel as though someone needs to start some kind of "Overheard in New York" type blog documenting the completely inane crap married people fight about.

I finally called a stop in the middle of one titled, "Why can't you wash the second cutting board by hand, nothing gets clean in the dishwasher when you put them both in at once?" It could've turned ugly fast as we'd ventured clear out of "bottom rack loading logistics" territory and straight into the murky waters of "How would you know anything about loading the dishwasher anyway, you haven't touched it since we moved in here?"

Right after those words were uttered, I said, "Oh my God, why are we even wasting time discussing this. Let's stop right now."

It was the first time I'd had the presence of mind to actually call us out on it in seven years of marriage/living together. I have been proud of myself ever since.

I hope you've gotten some soda in the meantime.

[Susannah aka Petunia Face]

Dude--I could have written this post! My husband and I are in the midst of selling our house to go back to renting and it seems every day one of us throws out a proverbial soda and pisses the other one off. Times are tight and so are we.

Deep breaths to you! And here's to a better 2009 for us all! :)

[maryd]

Hey Melissa, is it too soon to ask where you might be moving to? West Coast, represent!

[Canada Steph]

Well the comments have been quite interesting today.

I agree with you Melissa I totally saw the compliment/slam combo. And in my books you are a "Famous blogger".

I guess Logan is going to stay far away from the soda from now on. You guys have weathered so much - this move will be nothing compared to what you have endured. You'll do great.

[Sara]

Best of luck with the move!

[Sara]

Best of luck with the move, and everything that goes with it.

[mp]

You're thinking of moving to Portland some day? As in Oregon? AWESOME! I live in Portland - it's my hometown - and love it. Have flirted with moving elsewhere just to try life somewhere else for awhile, but there's no place like home. And you might make it yours - how cool! Tons of great places to live, both in the city and in suburbia. We're in suburbia - mostly for the better schools - but I sort of miss my former pre-married days closer to the urban heart of the city. If you ever want any insights or suggestions, please give me a shout. I'd be happy to give you my natives' perspectives (and I have a son and a daughter, too, close in age to yours.). Has Logan done or heard of Hood To Coast? Totally up his alley...

[Susie]

No, really. Why DID he throw out the soda?!

[mpotter]

this sounds like just about every argument we have at home... a lot about a lot of nothing.

at least you recognize it. me? i get so fuddled that 2 breaths later i forget what we were even fighting about! i really have to work on that.

p.s. my husband will more often than not finish all the good stuff... often before i have a chance to have any.

[Heather S]

Portland? Come to Texas! We have great food & Margaritas & no real winter! What more could you want?? :)

Really though, very happy for your move! Wishing you guys the best.

Heather

[K]

What is worse, a husband that will participate in inane arguments (pepperoni snaps, if you will), or a husband that remains calm like a robot (maybe) ALWAYS? He just glances at me like I am insane, and it either pisses me off more, or makes me feel gone 'round the bend.

Just so you know, my link to your blog used to read "Melissa's Suburban House Issues", then I switched the link to read "Suburban Bliss" - I am going to switch it back.

[kbreints]

oh yeah.. that is SO much better than pouting! ;)

[Ani]

Freezing soda = wrecked carbonation is a new one. Kudos for creative inventive excuses.

I put a fist through a mirror when I was a kid because my brother drank the last soda in the house. Do not mess with the soda! :-)

These are hard and stressful times, but we will all come out the other end eventually. Hang in there and try to keep talking, esp. when you want to chew each other's heads off. You will make it through, and it will be good.

[sumo]

After reading about all the troubles at the last place and how great the current house and neighborhood are, I was really floored to read that you were moving. However, if the financial landscape has shifted then you have to do what you have to do. I'm sad that you have to move from your dream house (with indoor pool!) but, based on your Flickr photos, the new house looks really nice. So good luck with the move and the new house! I'm proud of you guys for being smart about your money and being able to make the move to another good situation.

In the meantime, try not to kill each other.

[lauren]

Throwing out perfectly good pop is NEVER okay. Why waste?

Oh, and there is nothing wrong with the occasional fight about nothing, if it helps get out some frustrations building up regarding things so big/important/stressful that you just need to let a little steam off because a real fight about the real issue wold be just too much.

Keep on truckin'!

[Amy]

That would make me mental too. If it doesn't break up your marriage could you needle him some and find out? You know, for all of us? Inquiring minds want to know.