Sight Reading

Last week we had an emergency girls night in because I am not handling my life very well right now. So we got together and talked and planned a trip to Florida in May so that I would have something to look forward to other than leaving The Best Block In All The World.

Aside from the amazing tale I had to tell about an old "girlfriend" of Logan's from 8th grade sending us one of the Cray-Ziest emails we've ever gotten in our lives (I used to write for an AOL blog...I know crazy emails), other people had good stories to share that night.

For example, a friend told us the story of her husband taking their 3 year old kid out to run errands. He decided to grab some lunch for them and pulled into Arby's. The kid, not being able to read, yelled out "Yay! Arby's!"

The dad was surprised because the kid couldn't read yet so he said, "Hey, how did you know this was Arby's?"

The kid said, "Because of the the giant penis on the sign ."

And now I can't watch an Arby's commercial without seeing a bunch of people walking around with floating penises over their heads.

Comments

[HomeSlice]

hey, we wanna hear more about the cray-z!!!

[Why Mom Drinks Rum]

OK, I just had to google that...Arby's now on my list of things that are ruined. LOL.

It's like when people do that to songs...make up different words and then that's ALL you can hear.

For instance (because I'm a sharing soul)

The Pussycat Dolls (I wish they would die) song..."When I Grow Up"...instead of groupies insert, "I wanna have boobies..."....not kidding. That's all I hear now.

Or that ooooold school song, "Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me..."...only insert "Piggy, Piggy, Piggy..."...over a decade that has been plaguing me.

[Momsy]

I think I'll have to avert my eyes during every Arby's commercial from now on!

[Erin]

Someone sounds a little embarassed/bitter. Yeouch!

Ed note: Woah...seriously. The note she sent Logan and I was even more bizarre. [Referring to deleted comment.]

[Ashley Gailey]

Uhhh... Interesting comments thus far.

[Janssen]

Ah, I hate when I miss the juicy deleted comments :)

[Cat]

The kid probably got the idea from that one Arby's commercial where the husband makes the wife dress up like she works at Arby's and deliver a tray of food to him on the bed, and then right when a normal man would pop a boner, the commercial guy pop's the symbol up over his head.

I could see how he might be confused - that commercial even turns ME on a little bit.

[Anna]

I've thought the same thing about the Arby's sign since they started running those new commercials. Then they had the one where the Arby sigh, umm.. comes to attention, over the guy's head and now I can't even think about it without giggling like a school girl.

This is the one! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaHDN3_X4QY

[Melissa Summers]

the email (and the comments from the girl who sent it) aren't all that interesting, though my friends and I have gotten a few good "WTF" laughs out of it.

It was the misguided attempt of an old eight grade "girlfriend" to reconnect with Logan by making some false assumptions and filling in some important blanks with things that simply are not truth. (For example the reason my in laws and I are not in touch and the reason Logan and I are moving our family.)

I *think* she was trying to reach out to Logan to find some intimacy she's currently lacking in her marriage. But I"m not entirely sure.

Maybe I'll publish the letter, I don't know. It's really a pretty bad.

My favorite part was the part about the 20 diamonds in her ring and how she learned, from reading my site that she has to be content with her 20 diamonds and not always be reaching for more.

(Like say, someone's husband....wierdo)

[Tricia]

Seriously bummed that I missed the deleted comment(s)...all by just mere minutes, too.

[Dorothee]

Melissa, I think you should be incredibly proud of yourself for taking your lives into your hand and taking conscious steps toward your goal. Not very many people are capable of that when it involves doing things you rather wouldn't - such as down-sizing.

You have come such a long way since I started reading your blog and I think a big fat compliment is in order!

[MomZombie]

As a child, I never understood what the Arby's logo was supposed to be. I could never see the cowboy hat. It just looked like something gross and weird.

[kbreints]

That.is.awesome.

[Cara]

Those Arby's commercials crack me up when the dude sitting in bed has the Arby's logo pop up above his head...esp. the way he says, "Meeeee likey!"

Now what I want to know is, why is there a Google banner ad on your left nav that says "Gay Bear Dating Join 100% FREE"?

[Tonya]

Oh, come on!! You can't just leave us sitting here wondering what was in the letter! Publish it.

And, not taking from Logan's greatness, but why an eighth grade boyfriend?? Nobody from high school to chase?

[The Dreadpirate Wesley]

You know, to be honest, I didn't really see the penis thing (and I have one) when I looked at the sign. I just saw a really crappy cowboy hat, which coincided well with their crappy food.

Obviously though I am watching the wrong TV. I followed the link Anna posted in her comment, and really it seems Arby's was either GOING for the penis look, or someone pointed it out and they said "run with it".

[Amy]

Ah, crazy ex-girlfriend emails are the best part of ANY relationship. She sounds like a peach.

[A]

What is it with old girlfriends suddenly appearing out of nowhere, with this "need" to "connect"? My husband received a very bizzaro e-mail from a high school ex and I came to the same conclusion as you ... intimacy or something must be missing from her marriage. WTF indeed. I hope that you publish the letter ...

[AshleyN]

Wait...Florida? You're coming to FLORIDA?!? Like where I LIVE? OMG... if I see you on a beach holding a fruity drink I'm totally giving you an awkward hug. Kidding! :)

[Cary]

and the one commercial where the wife dresses up as an Arby's cashier, replete with a tray of Arby's fare....and the logo pops up over his head, boner-style? yeah, that doesn't help either. Arby's was totally ruined for me after I saw that. going there now, just feels like going in the back (adults only) room of the video store.

[jana]

I've always thought that Arby's sign was a phallus...my husband thinks I see them everywhere!! *wink*

[Hayley]

Long time lurker... love you because you are as much a smart ass and basket case as I am, but much more eloquent.

Yup... ex-girlfriend intimacy-seeking emails are as unsettling as the new-girlfriend-of-the-ex emails that either want advice/juicy info/weird psycho bonding/or to tell you off for imaginary offenses. It's been FUN.

If I ever turn into the either type, you have permission to shoot me with a tranq gun.

[Beth]

It wasn't until I read the first comment that I even entertained the idea it was anything other than "I wanna have boobies..." in the Pussycat Dolls song. I just figured it was the Pussycat Dolls, so, you know...

[Amy]

I worked at Arby's for two years during high school and I never noticed that giant penis aspect of their logo. Now that I see it though, I think it is a giant SINGING penis. We should all be so lucky.

[kristi]

Well thanks a lot. Now Arby's is thoroughly ruined or uh, much more entertaining.

[joaaanna]

Yeah, that new commercial where the husband gets a woody (or gets an arby) skeeves me out. Big time.

So now I'm gonna be seeing a giant, red wang everytime I see the sign.

[Johanna]

That. Is. Epic.

[KYouell]

Well, now I totally feel like a creep. The week after my apartment burned down (1992) I called up tons of friends that I'd lost touch with. The only one not happy to chat for 5 mins was a guy who was *not* an ex but his mom and fiancee sure acted like I was chasing him down. It was bizarre.

Cut to earlier this year when I found out that my best friend in high school passed away from a brain tumor. Again this made me reach out, but with the help of Google. And again the only person who seemed weirded out was this same guy. Perhaps my email to him was different in some way from the emails I sent the other friends? Perhaps there is some old rumor that makes him think I'm still carrying a torch? I dunno. But after reading this and the comments I feel like I'm a total freak for even reaching out. (Not as freaky as the Google ad though.)

I really don't want to be the type of person who doesn't reach out to others, but I think I can at least get in touch with what must be perceived on his end by weirdness.

[Jeanne]

now that's funny - because I ALWAYS thought that hat thing looked like a penis and now with the TV commercial running - it's even worse! yeah for Arby's

[melissaS]

In my opinion KYouell it's not at all weird to reach out to an old friend. I'm in touch with one of Logan's old friends who admitted to me that she always had a crush on Logan (we're seeing her when she's in town in a week or two) and I've had lots of great email exchanges with old girlfriends.

I love hearing about who Logan was and I think it speaks volumes about his character that the women in his life are not angry or feel poorly treated.

It's also as close to a reunion as I'll get since Logan has no interest in those and neither do I.

I really don't think contacting an old friend or boyfriend is creepy on it's own.

HOWEVER, this letter was not just a reaching out. She was lying to me and to Logan, saying one thing to me and another to Logan. Then, in her final email managed to insult me and my marriage in a really bizarre and nonsense way that has both Logan and I shaking our heads in amazement and disbelief.

That's when it turns creepy and inappropriate in my eyes.

Now you can't control what other people feel or do, and I can imagine if someone was feeling particularly insecure about their marriage or maybe about themselves they might see any contact as "competition" or a "threat" but that's not how I personally see it.

Hey! Who knows maybe you dated Logan. Drop me an email!

[Kingsmom]

Thanks for the laugh. I never really did like Arby's all that much.

[kingsmom]

My link came up wrong....sorry.

[ali]

...and now none of us will ever be able to watch a penis-less arby's commercial either...so, um, thanks for that. hahah!

[Father of the boy who ruined Arby's]

You think it is funny now? Try driving the car right after I realized what he was saying. I nearly peed myself.

[FlippyO]

Wow, my whole life I've seen the Arby's sign and not once have I seen the penis in it. And now, now that's ALL I see. We pass the big giant penis, I mean hat, on just about every single errand we run. This is something I'll never get over. Uh, just like that 8th grade "girlfriend" and Logan, I guess. ;)

Twenty diamonds, huh? I have ten diamonds in my ring (just now was the first time I'd ever counted them) and it cost all of $1200, and most of the cost was due to it being platinum. So, twenty diamonds could make it worth all of maybe two grand. Wowee, she must be filthy rich. Heh.

[Me]

OMGGGG!!!

I literally LOL'd at the Arby's comment now I will always see a penis, I can't believe I never even noticed that before as dirty as my mind is.

[Tom]

I worked at Arby's in 1976 and was told (unofficially) that the sign was deliberately designed to look like a penis, so people would
subconsciously want to eat there (figure that one out). It might have been an urban legend
then, though.