I forgot to tell you about this one.

Right before Easter I was walking into the market to pick up a few items in order to make Easter dinner for my family. I only needed a couple of things because I called my favorite place, The Chop Shop, to have them make up the main part of our meal. I still highly recommend that place, even above other meal prep places, because everything is put together right there. Not sent from a franchise distribution factory.

I went to the market to round out the menu with rolls and a dessert. On my way into the store a person in a giant furry bunny suit was standing in front of the store handing out candy. I assumed this was something meant for children, children who still believe the Easter bunny is a giant anthropomorphic rabbit with a bow tie, corsage and a basket of candy in front of the grocery store.   

That day I wasn't with the kids and I just wasn't in the mood for candy from the Easter Bunny's basket. So I smiled, shook my hand in his direction and said, "No thanks!" and kept walking into the store.

But the bunny followed me into the store, tapping me on the shoulder and putting his arms up for a hug.

You should know I'm not anti-bunny or even anti-furry-fetish guy, I'm not anti-candy either. But I am pretty vehemently Anti-Hugging-Furry-Fetish-Bunny-Guy. So I said, "Ha ha ha! Aren't you funny! No thanks!"

And kept walking.

And the Furry-Fetish-Bunny-Guy followed me around the produce department trying to wear me down into giving him a hug. Walking next to me, trying to put his arm around my shoulder, holding his hands up in a prayer position and finally just standing by the potatoes holding his arms up in a silent last minute plea for just one chance to rub his furry suited body up against me in a fetish-y fury.

Here's something I've learned about myself in the last couple of months. Some people make it their mission to break down your personal boundaries, and I make it my goal to tell those people to go fuck themselves. (Though in a quieter way.)

The lesson here? I should have bought more side dishes from The Chop Shop so I didn't have to go to the market at all.

Note: I will always tell you if I've been given anything as a gift from a company I write about. The Chop Shop is wonderful and I love using them but we're on a strictly friends basis. However if they want to make out behind the bleachers. Fine!

*Update: Oh geez.....

Comments

[tutugirl1345]

Creepy. Really creepy.

I think after about ten minutes of that I would have found someone from the grocery store and asked them to please get the bunny the fuck away from me.

[May]

Oh how annoying. I would not have liked that at all. I'm the killjoy that always insists on refusing to step on the podium when picked at random from the audience top "assist" at a trick or another. Same would go to bunny-hugs or some mime artist doing a demo on me. I just hate that type of thing. "Ha ha, now move on".

[tansasser]

I totally agree with tutu girl and was just about to make a similar comment. Someone from the store should have seen that and signaled the bunny lay off - because that is both creepy and rude.

[Slim]

"Some people make it their mission to break down your personal boundaries, and I make it my goal to tell those people to go fuck themselves."
That is one worthy goal. Keep up the good work.

[ashley]

I have a very large personal space bubble. I do not like weird people touching me. I won't even get a massage because it skeeves me out. You were right to stay away from the bunny.

[ashley]

I don't like people in animal costumes. It reminds me too much of that CSI episode with all the animal wearing fetish people. You should have kicked him in his ba...I mean ears.

[Bari]

ok, I really really thought that story was going to end with "...then guess what! It was my best friend from 6th grade!" and ugh, it totally didn't.

[Heather]

We were accosted by the cow at the chick-fil-a once, but that 'bunny' encounter is 10x as a creepy. Agreed with Ashley that I would have kicked the bast...I mean bunny where it counts. Reading this I kept getting confused as here in Philly the Chop Shop is the cheapie $10 haircut place on South Street.

[Laura]

OMG! Long-haired, greasy, swinger guy got a job as the Easter bunny! He's stalking yooouuu!

[MelissaS]

Oooh, you guys...that guy passed away last year! Ugh.

[Anne]

You are a stronger person than I am. I would have given into the hug and then felt violated the rest of the day. I would have been too afraid to look like "the jerk who won't hug the cute fuzzy bunny". Someday I expect to learn to not rely quite so much on other peoples' opinions of me. Maybe sometime before I retire.

[beyond]

oh no! how disturbing and rude. i think you were way more tolerant that i would have been. i would have threatened to talk with the manager seconds after the bunny started following me. seconds. i have no patience for that sort of thing. (at the same time i know that it was just an out of work actor in there trying to make a few bucks. but no.)

[HouseofJules]

Oh! I can so relate! I once got felt up (do people still say felt up? I'm 35, have I lost touch with the slang of the younger generation?!) at Great America by Wile E. Coyote. It was right after my mom took a photo of my friend & I, with Mr. Coyote in the middle, and then he 2-handed it. I'm a classic over-thinker, which slowed my response time down. My brain was too busy processing how forceful my kick would have to be, to get through all that fake fur and make contact. All I really had time to do was yell at him, and that made *ME* look like the idiot. Good times!

[homeslice]

OMG. can you call his bunny boss and get his furry ass fired? how creepy.

also, appreciate the transparency on the paid versus free commments - some bloggers are not very great about that.

[Cary]

'Some people make it their mission to break down your personal boundaries, and I make it my goal to tell those people to go fuck themselves' - same here. And I am REALLY stubborn about it too. it's very frustrating for the passive aggressive people in my life.

[Lily]

Why is it that people like that - the ones who want to break down your boundaries - also do it in a way that tries to make *you* feel like the jackhole for not letting them? Grrrrr.

I was willing to let the shoe store clerk slide, but this bunny following you through the store is easily ten times more annoying to me.

I'm pretty sure I would have gritted my teeth and quietly told him to fuck off. Your sense of restraint in that situation is really impressive.

[die Frau]

I was with Bari, thinking/hoping it was someone you knew...and then it just wasn't. Ech. I think I would've patted him on the shoulder and then told him to get the eff away from me if he'd kept following. Once again, I applaud your restraint.

[Laura]

Now I feel like an asshole. What happened to him?

[MelissaS]

Oh Gosh, don't! I felt like an ass when I found out, so much so I couldn't even bring it up here.

No one really seems to know. I got just a brief email from someone at our old elementary school.

[AmyinMotown]

"Some people make it their mission to break down your personal boundaries, and I make it my goal to tell those people to go fuck themselves."

This is probably my favorite quote ever.

And seriously?? WTF is wrong with people???? NO MEANS NO, ASSHOLES. Jesus.I just really have an issue with that, especially since you know damn well he wouldn't have done such a thing to a guy. But, you know, women are supposed to just let anyone violate our boundaries at at any time and if we don't we're a bitch who needs to be mocked and humiliated. Grrrrr.

[Krissa]

I probably would have stopped in the middle of an aisle, turned around, and just stared at the bunny. No talking, no trying in vain to escape, just stare at the eye-holes, blocking the way.

[Mysh]

Sounds like you need to get Bunny Man and Shoe Savings Club girl together. She can take his candy while he saves money! ;O)

[Laura]

That is too bad... I wish I could think of something clever to say, but it would be mean to do so... I understand you not bringing it up here earlier.

Well, hopefully your dreams are not filled with Easter bunny stalkers!

[Lori]

It sounds like the bunny and the DSW sales girl went to the same school of agressive salesmanship.

[amie]

Freaky. Did someone in the store management think that an aggressive bunny would be good idea?

[Deanna]

You haven't been watching nearly enough sitcoms on TV. The appropriate response would have been to beat him senseless with a bunch of carrots!

[sevedra]

Furry-Fetish-Bunny-Guy creeps me out! I hate you had to live through that. *shudder*

[Suebob]

Not to pimp myself, but I couldn't help but think of a blog post I wrote. Here's my long, drawn-out story of someone trying to break down my boundaries:

http://redstapler23.blogspot.com/2007/02/count-me-out.html

[norm]

This would have been a perfect time to withdraw the 8" U.S. Marines K-Bar survival knife from your purse and idly start using to clean your fingernails.

[Ms.carson]

"Some people make it their mission to break down your personal boundaries, and I make it my goal to tell those people to go fuck themselves." I will be adding this to my list of favorite quotes... ever.

[northerngurl]

Omg. I hate that kind of crap.

[April]

Jeez, what an asshole. (Bunny guy, not you, just to be clear.)

[Kat]

yikes. Update link probably NSFW.

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