Not really naked but the point is I could be.

All summer long people asked me, "Oh boy! Middle school! Are you nervous?"

And I laughed and said, "I'm about to kill my kids, that's all I'm nervous about."

This morning I woke up and a wave of totally unexpected anxiety washed over me.

I don't typically indulge in a lot of "MY Bayyyyy-Beeeee" stuff but.

My Baby! Is in middle school!

So it was a momentous occasion dropping her off. She's struggled with school anxiety for most of her life and this year was of course no exception. Her best friend from preschool is at her school for the first time since they were 4 so that helped ease things and unlike years past we didn't have to surgically remove her from my head.

She had decided she wasn't going to cry, it's middle school MOTHER.

I watched her face, knowing exactly how those gears were shifting in her head. "I don't want to do this. I am going to do this. I don't want to do this. I am going to do this."

I know exactly how she's feeling....and I'm surprised how hard it is to watch.

I mean it's hard, even though I'm sitting here in my living room naked eating all the cookies out of the cookie jar.

Comments

[Maureen]

Gorgeous photo of your baby. You will both get through this. (And love the new masthead, too!)

[Jill]

love this post. she is such a doll!

[Maggie]

I got a huge laugh out of the nervous comment (about killing your kids) and your last comment about eating cookies naked. Thanks for the laugh.

[Gigi]

I luh you.

[martha]

Congrats to you and she on bravely taking on middle school and cookie-eating-while naked. Was she exposed to OUR PRESIDENT ADDRESSING THE NATION'S CHILDREN? Why the nerve!! Here's hoping she did get to watch. Sheesh.

[RachelJ]

I like the new masthead also. I was the same way. I've never been upset at my kids getting older or felt like I wanted them to stay babies. But after dropping my kid off at middle school for the first time this year, I was sad. For me, it was the thought that we only 'have' him for 7 more years before he's an adult.

[Melissa]

My son started middle school this year too. While he never seemed nervous about it, I've been nervous enough for both of us! I'm still not completely relaxed - just waiting for him to get settled and into a new routine, I guess. Then come the comments he just throws out in passing sometimes wondering why he's not popular. Ugh. On second thought, maybe I'll never be relaxed! It's such a BIG change, in so many ways, from elementary school.

I hope she's having a fabulous first day!

[Laura]

Best. masthead. ever.

[mythoughtsonthat]

Man, middle school kind of scares me.

Peace.

[Kelly H]

New masthead rocks!

And for what it's worth, I think you're the real deal and look forward to every "story" you tell here on your blog. I recently came across an anti-Dooce/Might Girl/Suburban Bliss blogger and seriously, I can't believe the crap you're getting for just being real - like so many of us. Sounds like from your Tweets that you're getting some negative emails or comments so I wanted to make sure you knew, that around these parts (Northern CA) we think you're great and a big part of our daily reading.

[katrina]

Hey what's middle school (can ya tell I'm an Aussie??) and is there any other way to eat cookies?????

[justcurious]

Just found you (I also just learned about this great new band - the Beatles). I have an 11 year old daughter and 7 year old son so I'm laughing and reading you out loud to my husband. Thanks, and see ya again soon!

[ladykay]

Nothing better than cookies and naked.

So how did her big day go? After my son's first day in middle school he described it as "a nightmare, just a nightmare." When I asked him how it was at the end of the second day, he said, "Fine."

[Elizabeth]

I hope your daughter had a good first day! That is one adorable photo. Lots of luck to Maddie!

Also, I'm loving the new masthead. :-)

[Sharon]

Very funny post. Your site looks great!

[Jessie]

She's a gorgeous little girl. She gets cuter every year. Such a good mix of you and your husband.

[Dawn]

That photo is the greatest, and I know that within a week, Maddie will totally rule the school. Cheers to naked cookies! Even better is having Pants find the crumbs later...

[heatherw]

My daughter started middle school yesterday. I was thinking to myself that this is the hardest part of parenting, because my child is about to enter that phase of life that makes you question who you are for a very very very long time. At least, that's how it was with me. My heart aches for her knowing that she might not feel comfortable in her own skin for several years.
Thanks for commiserating.

[Caroline]

Love, love, love her hair! So cute. Hope she had a great time.

[Caroline]

Love, love, love her hair! So cute. Hope she had a great time.

[Jules]

Great to hear this from another mother of a first-time middle-schooler! My baby girl could hardly sleep the night before, and neither did her mother. First borns are the bravest kids. And I? Am a complete and self-admitted wuss!