I don't know what this is going to be about...I guess it's about money.

So very little is going on over here I have cob webs on my hair, dust is collecting on my keyboard...I'm just sort of waiting for something to happen.

I told the girls at Broad Summit how I like to get up in the morning, get the kids off to school, unload the dishwasher, throw a load of laundry in, get dressed for yoga or for the day and then, I take my computer back upstairs and sit on my bed working on whatever comes up. "You stay in your bedroom for most of the day?" they asked, with concern.

And, yeah, I do. I know! I promised myself I'd stop but it's so cozy and the light is really good and I don't get distracted by the tv, or the rug that needs vacuuming or the fact that my front porch/mudroom could be a lot more efficient.

The only problem I see, aside from having to say I spent my day in my bedroom, is that not very much happens in my bedroom. (At least not things that I can write about.)(Hey-Oh!) So that's kind of a bummer.

Back in May we gave up our second car, and that's been going reasonably well.

Overall it works out reasonably well, there are really only about one or two times a week when I curse the lack of an extra car. Our friends are very kind about helping us out, picking up kids for things and helping us to juggle this experiment when necessary. We've also seen pretty clearly what a luxury (for our family and our lifestyle) having a second car is. Also interesting to note, two of our friends are also one car families, is this a recession trend?

Probably the best thing about cutting the second car payment and the related costs of it out of our budget, is we were able to put our finances back in a better place after the (painful) pay cuts we both took this year. That is incredibly empowering for someone like me who hates money and all the stress and uncertainty of it. 

Does anyone else feel like this? You cut items out of your budget and it seems as though that money just magically disappears into some other hole that needs to be filled (whoa...unintended sexual innuendo). I am a financial dolt, but we moved to save money and it was almost immediate that we took pay cuts. So thank God we moved of course but still it was kind of a blow.

Still, the fact that there's no car, and now it's a little cold outside for a bike, means my bedroom becomes even more appealing. Please send cats! I'm going to be a crazy cat person. Alone in my bedroom.

Okay I gotta go out to lunch or something. Do you want to have lunch?

Oh shoot, can you pick me up?

Damn!

Comments

[Kim Smith]

This feels like my life, except I have a car...I just don't use it. It's the family car, and my husband has a company car that he drives.
The money hole,we have that too. We cut out our medical insurance because Hey we can just take that $800 a month and put it into the savings account. We're all healthy and only go to the DR once a year so $800 a month should be PLENTY to cover any medical expenses. Only...that $800 disappeared.

We recently had to take a temporary $200 per pay check cut to pay some work expenses. We just started getting that $200 back in the paycheck and you'd think, Whoo extra money, but no, it's gone before the direct deposit can go through.

So, yeah, my bed is a nice safe place.

[Erin]

It's supposed to be 72 today. I have a new bike to try out, but napping on my sofa sounds better!

[MichelleRenee]

I would love to not have a second car.

We could save over $400 a month not counting gas and insurance.

However, since I live in the middle of NOWHERE, NH and they offer no buses for school, I would have to home school.

Then I'd become a raging alcoholic and spend all my money on therapy..

I guess I'll keep the car.

[The Bug]

I wish we could cut down to one car, but my husband & I both work 35 miles from where we live - in opposite directions. That sentence doesn't make sense, does it? He heads 35 miles north & I go 35 miles south - is that better? Our dream is for me to get a job on the same campus where he teaches & we would live right there & both bike to work. But my current job is too good to give up just now - we need the money!

[Procrastamom]

We're also a one car family and the days we really feel the pinch is on practice nights and game days when our three kids all have to go in different directions for different soccer teams. Luckily, we too have great neighbours and friends who will pick up our kids because they're taking their children to that practice/game anyways. My husband and I commute together in our little car and we really save on gas and insurance. There are more positives than negatives to it as far as I can see.

The biggest downside is watching our family of five pile out of our little Ford Focus coupe like some sideshow clown act...we always appreciate the applause, anyways.

[marymuses]

We are a one car family, if a couple and their three cats make a family. We are in the process of adopting a baby, and my husband's mom likes to make a big deal about EMERGENCIES with the BABY! and only ONE car! What will we DO? Shouldn't we buy another one? Possibly a minivan? But we love having just one car, and I've even learned to embrace the inconveniences of having just one car in a city that is very much geared toward driving everywhere. I doubt that having a baby will make having just one car a bigger deal than it is now, and for emergencies? Well, we DO each have a cell phone from which we can dial 911.

[april]

I'm only one person, so only one car is pretty much the norm, but I think in this area you can't help but feel the money pain from everywhere.

I was lucky that I moved, because two weeks later I took a pretty big pay cut. And then about a week ago I took another one. I'd managed to figure out how to whittle down, cancelled a vacation and decided what I needed vs. wanted...and then last week we found out our insurance rates were doubling. I've been at my job six years and I'm now officially making less than I did when I started.

So, um, I'll totally pick you up for lunch, but we'd have to flirt with the cook or throw a piece of hair in it because it sounds like neither of us can pay for it.

Damn!, is right.

[Calee]

Every time you post about only having one car, I wish, wish, wish we could make that move, if just for the garage space. Seriously, you just stole 5 minutes of my preschool work time while I dreamt about getting a trailer for my bike, heck, getting a new bike, and zooming all over town looking smart like I'm in Amsterdam and not Orange County.
But, both of our cars are paid off and old, but still running. And- I go to school 2 nights a week and the train does. not. run. after 7. Le sigh.
I know if we sold the car (and cut the insurance, gas, etc) the money would just go into a hole never to be seen again anyway.

[Jen]

Every time we get any extra money, something comes up that takes it away. For instance, I just got a $500 bonus at work, but then the soles of my husband's Born shoes that cost $150 broke (I kid you not), we got a note from our older daughter's school that she failed the vision test and we were required by law to get her eyes checked (and probably will have to buy her glasses as well), and the stairway to our attic which pulls down in the middle of our hallway broke and will need to be replaced to the tune of about $175.

On the one hand, I'm grateful we had the extra money to help pay for these things, but jeez! Why does this ALWAYS happen?

[Mrs Chaos]

Budgeting and money talk must be in the air. (Well, obviously the entire country is talking about it, but still.)

My husband and I have been really trying to reevaluate our budget in this last year he has of school. Its completely nuts, is what it is. It really does make one just want to stay under the covers and not come out of the room.

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

I completely know what you mean about how each time you feel as if you adjust your budget or life to guarantee you more money you still never feel as if there is enough.

I lost my job and was getting used to 'living' off my unemployment check. Then I got a part time job and thought, "Hey! It's going to feel like Christmas everyday in my bank account!" Except it wasn't, there still isn't nearly enough. Then I got a small raise, still no impact. Change cable providers, nada. Change the way you grocery shop, still an empty account. Round and round we go!

I feel ya on the whole money pit thing. Oh, and on the lovely bedroom thing. If I could live in my bedroom I'd be there right now...

[jen]

I hear ya. We cashed out one of my life insurance policies and within a couple of weeks the extra money was gone. Where, I have no clue. But I'm up for lunch - as long as its cheap. Taco Bell? :-)

[Jill]

I love reading these comments... it's so true with our family as well and seems to be less annoying when I am not the only one going through it! The universe sure has it figured out with give and take. We are a one car family too... I think fondly on the days we had two - weren't we livin' it up! Ha!

[loonytick]

To address the other point of the original post, I totally understand about picking the bedroom as the place to hang out when you're at home all day. It's just so comfy and cozy, and I feel like it's a nicest place in the house to be when I'm alone. The living and dining rooms are made for more people, kwim?

[Katg]

We have always been a one car family. We bike most places (when it's not snowing, that is), but I do use the car to get to my different clients around the twin cities.

There are totally times when I wish I could afford another car, but we can barely afford insurance on the one we have (and the only reason that we have that one, is because I was given it when my grandfather passed away). But, we do have the privilege of living in a major metropolitan area, where we can get pretty much anywhere we want to go within 20 minutes by car, bike, or public transportation which makes everything so much easier.

[superdupergirl]

I have to say I think that your "experiment" of having only one car is admirable, however relying on your friends and neighbors to pick up the slack is kind of lame. ProcrastaMom... maybe your neighbors are "going to soccer practice anyway" but what happened to give and take? I certainly hope you offer those kind people some gas money atleast.

If you can't figure out a way to get your family where they need to be, when they need to get there without relying on other people you either need to go get another car or curtail your family's activities.

Either way sponging off your neighbors doesn't seem to be a viable long term solution.

If you can't tell from my diatribe, in the recent past I offered to help a neighbor out with a similar issue and all of a sudden I am the taxi driver for her kids in addition to my own. My family has our own bills and problems and it really sticks in my craw that this woman has never once reciprocated or offered to help with gas b.c. "I am going there anyway."

[Teri Lynn]

I'm waiting to see, but we just finished paying our car off so we may have all of an extra $200 per month. Of course my husband is already spending it in his head on not-quite-necessities, but not-quite-frivolities, whereas I know that savings is going to fly out some secret mouse-hole somewhere.
We have 2 cars now, after a year of one, and I have to say I totally appreciate the 2 car thing, since he works evenings mostly, and I'm a day-worker. With the reduction in insurance on the car we paid off, the awesome gas mileage both cars get, and the fact that our newer car was a gift (hence free), our expenses didn't go up at all for having the two cars.
I love being the exception for once!

[Mary]

Oh Melissa! I'd love to take you out to lunch :)
I too love spending time in my room, so don't feel bad. It's the reason I have a mac book pro.
& yes, $ troubles sucks...

[Amanda]

I work in my bedroom a lot - often in jammies, sometimes under the covers. Our house is really inefficient to heat, so the bedroom is usually warmer then downstairs, and I sometimes find my home office distracting especially if I'm trying to focus on a creative project. Also, my bed is very comfy.

I do have some kind of weird guilt about it though - like I'm not really working or the lazy police are going to fine me or something. The point is you're not alone in your work habits. I'd say "Bedroom Workers of the World Unite!" but that's far to easy to misinterpret.

[MelissaS]

Superdupergirl, I can understand what you're saying and believe me we drive carpools as well and my husband picks up at least one other kid each morning when he drives Maddie to school.

The thing that doesn't sit very well with me is how angry you feel about being "used" for rides.

No one uses you without your permission. I trust the people I ask favors of to say no when they feel taken advantage of, or when they simply can not help out.

I think that's each person's responsibility in a friendship. I hope you'll remember that next time you feel taken advantage of.

Next year they're likely dropping bus service in our town so I'll either have to drive Logan to and from work every day or we'll have to save for another car. Hopefully we can pay cash for it and skip another car payment.

We'll see how 2010 works out. So far things are looking brighter. OMG maybe I can even get Sharon to come back and make my house clean again!!! Well I just jinxed that. Oh well.

[Norm]

Oh dear gob, yes, YES. Of course I have two kids in college and am making a vain attempt to keep the aggregate family debt level below seven figures. I do almost all my grocery shopping and commuting to work by bike, which means a whole lot less car use. I know your climate won't permit this to be a 100% solution (particularly with the kids to deal with) but I did some spreadsheet work and we're saving a LOAD without all the extra car use.

[Rebecca]

I'll be right over. Although it may take a bit of time as I am on the West Coast of Canada, but put on your makeup, brush your hair and choose your shoes because I don't wanna wait around when I get there. :)

[kate]

Sounds like my life too. I work at home. We don't own any cars. We bike to work and our daughter's school, but now I've broken my foot which means my husband is taking care of child transportation (until it snows) and I am a shut in. I never meet anyone. I never see anyone. I only talk to my best friends online. I'd like to think I'm just thoroughly modern and ecological, not pathetic.

[Erika]

Melissa, don't be worried, but I think that Alice/Finslippy took over your blog today. :)

And all I'll say is that I *wish* I had a bedroom w/ nice light, where it's so cozy I'd like to stay all day. Mine, sad to say, does not. If I did, I'd be only too happy to hang out all day in my yoga clothes.

But I do have a lovely view of the neighbor's garbage cans...

[Amy]

I quit my job last year in order to stay home and take care of my wheelchair-bound husband (he has FSH Muscular Dystrophy). I was taking classes last year but this year am just home. We took my car to the shop for annual maintenance and 3 weeks later remembered to go pick it up. After that we realized we could sell my car thereby freeing up some cash. Now I just drive my husband's handicapped accessible van. He doesn't drive himself much anymore and we haven't even missed my car let alone the insurance, plates, tabs, and gas costs.

[Petey]

We're a 2 car family. We have to be. But his car is 13 years old (and not fit for our 3 children) and mine is 7 years old (and barely fit for our 3 children). We have no car payments but we also have no money. And that's with 2 full time jobs and 2 part time jobs. Things just suck right now. Can you scooch over - I need to lie down.

[Lisa V]

We cut out TV, the Y, the paper and one of our cell phones. Yippee! $250 extra dollars a month. That was on Friday.

The following Tuesday our level pay on electricity went up $50 a month, our car insurance $40 a month and the transmission in our old, old truck needed a $700 repair.

Sigh.

[Melissa Summers]

We cut similar stuff...housing by $600, car and insurance by $400 a month, housekeepers $100, gym $80...

That was february to may and only now do I feel like we're catching our breath.

There's hope!

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

On Oct 21, 2009, at 6:00 PM, typepad@sixapart.com wrote:

[windylou]

We are a one car family. Mostly due to divorce fall out and other unforseeable circumstances. We've had only one car for 3 years and we've been fine, although sometimes I feel trapped in the house. Luckily my husband works from home, so 99% of the time the car is available with some schedule juggling.

I like being a one car family, I just wish our one car were a little bigger.

[Lisa]

Melissa, don't listen to superdupergirl! You sound like a good friend - the kind with a lot of what my husband calls "social capital" (i.e. good karma (haha! get it?!) built up from the continuous give and take that happens in a community. If I lived near you I'd give your kids a lift to practice! (Alas, I moved to Australia ... where we survive nicely with one car due to copious public transportation. Some of our friends have, gasp, NO cars!)

[Kathy]

haha! You crack me up! If your bedroom is where you want to hang - so be it!
You know - everything is relative. We got our home tax rebate check (I live in NJ - taxes are CRAZY) We sign the check and my husband's truck breaks down! He is a contractor - no truck - no work 9no pay) So there the check goes. Seems to always work like that.

[amy]

I hear you. Once you start saving $$ or feel secure something breaks down and needs to be replaced.

Lovely score by hubby today replacing dud microwave with one from a thrift shop for 20! Like new!

Now we just have to replace the fridge and dishwasher ;)

[amy]

BTW we were a one vehicle family for a lot of years and it was ok. I got my exercise walking to town (not so far) pushing that twin stroller with son holding on. Actually remember those days fondly. We all got out and two of us got some exercise!

Now the two vehicles is warranted as hubby works out of town 4 out of 8 nights a week and I NEED a vehicle. Or do I.....??

[TJ]

I work at home, and I live in a completely new state across the country from where I lived earlier this year, and I don't know how to get anywhere, so I never take my car anywhere, ever (I mean EVER), and... I admit that many days, I don't come out of the bedroom. At all.

While I am completely aware of how odd and unhealthy of a life I am living at the moment, it does make me feel a LITTLE bit better to know that there is at least one other person who does not always see the need to leave the bedroom.

[Maureen]

We are a one car family. My husband bikes to work every day year round - even in the dead of winter (in Toronto) - around 15km round trip these days. He's nuts like that. We find that with a little planning (and some winter cycling gear) we manage fine. Also, we use Gail Vaz-Oxlade's jar method for budgeting. Google her - it's amazing. Just input your numbers and it calculates it all for you!

[Maureen]

We were a one car family for about 2.5 years. My husband rode his little scooter to work and I had the sedan. Finally, we decided to sell the scooter and buy a really cheap used car. It has made life much easier getting kids to two different places, but it has cut down on our walking. If it's gone, you make do, but if you have it, it's easy to forget that you have two legs.

[Coury]

Love working in my bedroom....

As far as the other, I would prefer to have my kids ride with others, or to be the one driving a group of kids. I think that it teaches my kids to respect other parents as authorities. It also exposes my children to other families rules and fun. Plus it saves on gas. My neighbors and I have worked out many carpool agreements.

[Molly]

We're a one car family, and we have been for five years. At first it was because we lived in D.C., and now that we've moved back to Michigan, it's because we just don't need another car. We've both found outselves being a little more efficient about what we do--my husband is more likely to just pick up milk on the way home, rather than asking me to do it, or we save our errands for the weekends. I'm finding it's given me more time, rather than less--my time doesn't get nickle-and-dimed away like it did when I had a car.

You're right, though, it's gotten a little chilly for a bike.

[Sunny]

Melissa - I only wish I could stay in my bedroom doing something that I loved all day!

My husband and I struggle with finances all the time and are shocked that even in this horrible Michigan economy, making fairly decent money, that we still scrape by some months.

If you ever get the car from Logan and happen to be in Ann Arbor, I'd love to take you out for lunch on Main Street...my treat!

[CinAA]

I'm glad to hear your one car experiment is mostly working, because our second car, which is 12, has probably hit the repairs that cost more than it is worth us to make. We don't use it that often but oh, does it come in handy. The kids missed the bus the other day and the damn thing wouldn't start so I had to call a taxi, which was mortifying to my easily mortified middle schooler.

One car in the Michigan winter. Hm.

[Heather]

We've had one car for ten years! It is not easy and all of our friends think we are nuts. Luckily we have mass transit and my husband takes the train to work. The car is pretty much mine until the weekends. Now that my kids are getting older (4 & 10) it is getting much more difficult to get everyone where they need to be. I'm holding out as long as I can because I don't want the extra payments either.

[Beth]

When I was little, I think all of the families in our Chicago neighborhood were 1-car families. Most of the moms worked at least part-time, too (including my mom). Hm. We must have walked or biked a lot (even in the freezing winter).

I'm lucky enough to live in Europe now so I don't have to own a car (oh, how I love my commute with my book on a clean train), and I never want to live away from good public transportation again.

[Jenny]

We have one car (our kids are 4 and 2.) We've recently cut cable, phone, grocery, eating out, and a bunch of other budget items, and it's worked well against the medical emergencies and pay cuts. Now we're trying to sell the house and move to a smaller one. That's proving the be the really hard part in this market. So far, 6 months on the market and no nibbles.