A smorgasbord with only a little whining.

Pro Tip: Make sure your kid doesn't still have a tube in his ear drum before you decide to pour peroxide in his ear canal to clean out wax. I hope only the "Whining" part of Max's brain was eradicated when I doused it with hydrogen peroxide. While my son openly wept in pain, I felt pretty good. A big shiny ball of Shitty.

We've got an ear infection. Again.

I'm thinking Max and I should just hole up in my bedroom chronicling the ways our bodies continue to fail us.

Although Max is no fun because you give him a shot of ibuprofen and he's no longer mad at the world. Unlike me, who, as you might imagine, is pretty fed up with my body and all this crap. I'm 36 body, let's keep it together.

*****

Aside from sitting around asking my body why the yoga isn't making it happy? And the mostly vegetarian dinners and the broccoli and breakfast shakes packed with nutrients? We need therapy my body and me.

When I'm not doing that I've been doing things like making homemade vanilla extract. I was going to take pictures of the process but then I remembered that everybody did this project last year. I mean I did mine naked only wearing a mustache and a flower brooch, so it wasn't totally Last Year. But I couldn't exactly share those pictures. But listen if you're making vanilla extract as holiday gifts this year? You have to do it naked wearing a mustache.

I made 24 four-ounce bottles and that's a lot of vodka. I had to make another trip to Costco for a giant bottle to finish the project. However, since I'd already done my Costco shopping, I ended up buying bread, deli turkey, cheese, to make the giant bottle of vodka less noticeable. No one really batted an eye. The turkey must have distracted them.

I also didn't have a funnel on hand so I may have used one of the kid's water bottles filled with vodka to get the vodka where it needed to go. Don't worry, I used almost all of it before putting it back on Max's nightstand. He's got an ear infection, a little vodka won't hurt. 

*****.

I thought one or two of these might be our Christmas card photo, but Logan said* "No one wants to see us."  (*didn't say but kind of meant.)

Since we're using another shot for our xmas shot I thought I'd share a few of the other shots from our fun (unedited, ignore dust on the disc) photo shoot last week with Joe Vaughn.

Here's our Christmas Miracle. No one's eyes are closed and I don't look morbidly obese. Maybe Tiny Tim will live after all.

Max loves her no matter how insane she acts towards him.

I can't believe she's 11.

Here's our very own gap ad.

(If you can read Max's shirt, make him a sandwich.)

Comments

[Katherine]

Lovely pictures! Have come back to your blog tonight after drifting away for a while (having a baby does that...) and it's amazing to see how much they've changed in a year.
Loving the idea of the homemade vanilla extract, too... we might have to have a go at that here.

[Andria]

Love the pics! Those are great.

[Kate @ And Then I Was a Mom]

Huh. I thought the giant bottles of vodka WERE the reason one goes to Costco. Oh, and the free samples. Which begs the question: Why are there no free samples of vodka, anyway?

[Sarah Brown]

I love how you can tell Max loves Maddie so much in every picture, no matter what age.

Maddie is gorgeous and like 22 now I guess?

[Melissa Summers]

He LOVES her. It's really almost sad. I hope it makes him a really patient and loving man someday.

[Maggie May]

Those photos are Awesome. Seriously. I'm jealous! We are going to do ours Saturday shot by me myself and I ( we do our three kids and maybe the two dogs, but not the Moms and Pops ) and I know the lighting won't be so cooool!

[Heather]

Those are just exquisite family photos. I've had to unclog ear tubes before and the ENT's oh so helpful advice is to keep doing it til they SCREAM because then you'll know it's clear. doh.

[Sheila]

I tell you what, you are one photogenic family. How great is it that you've got these cool shots of you and your kids. I've just got three girls poking each other in front of the fireplace for our Christmas picture. I need Joe Vaughn. (And a haircut.) (And cuter kids.)

[Melissa Summers]

Sheila, you stop it.
Your kids are beautiful I know it.
Now it might be true you need good lighting.
Seriously I always looks insanely awful in pictures and Joe's lighting and very nice camera and good shooting makes me look good.
But please don't let that make you feel bad. Promise.

[Gail]

Adorable!! Thanks for sharing.
gmg

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

Priceless is what those photos are. Gap ad indeed.

[Allison]

YOUR Costco has VODKA???

[amy]

Great family shot, blow up and frame!

[Leta]

Fantastic photos. Seriously love them. And 11? OMG, hold me, I'm scared.

[Alyce]

Those are great photos. And I think Logan's wrong about people not wanting to see you guys. You're lovely. The Gap one of the kids still has me smiling. Looks like fun!

[Sharon]

AWESOME pix. I esp. love the 'Gap' ad!

Did Maddie (and Max??!!) get to wear lipstick, or is that just editing. Either way, its SO COOL!

[Amy]

Max is so stinkin' cute.

[M]

Beautiful!

[Melissa Summers]

No lipstick. Photo color plus they really do have nice lips.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[tuesy]

An audiologist told me that a bit of olive oil in the ear can soften up ear wax. Not sure what it would do to a kid with tubes in his ears, though.

My version of Did They Eat It with the chicken tacos:
Me: OMG! This was so easy and delicious!
My husband: OMG! This is SO good!
My Daughter: ate the taco, cheese and sour cream. Managed to eat AROUND the beans and corn and ate the chicken. Said it was good.
My Son (who doesn't really count because he's the worst eater ever): As if I'm going to suddenly eat meat, Mom. This cheese and taco shell is just fine, thanks.

[ksmaybe]

Fantastic photos! I love the gap ad shot :) Your kids have amazing personality captured in these images. What a keepsake!

[Sarah]

Gorgeous. Your kids are so lucky, they got your full lips!

[Karen]

I love the pictures of you and your family! And I think you should send some out with the four of you!

[Gigi]

Even your kids are cooler than me.

[Amie Simmons]

adorable family. such great pictures!

[Kenzie]

I LOVE the pictures-especially the GAP ad! Your kids have such style!

I did NOT do the vanilla project last year and I love it as an easy hostess gift. Dumb question, does it matter what quality of vodka you use??

[kate]

My god, you are the cutest damn family!! You can't give all the credit to the photographer and good lighting.

[Tracy]

What great pics (and I like getting pics of Mom and Dad, not just the kids, on cards). We don't even have a Costco in my state, let alone a Costco that sells vodka. Talk about deprived.

[Sarah]

Beautiful!

[Grumpy Barista]

I was gonna go with the gap ad for the xmas card, but since everyone else already boarded that bus, I guess go with the family shot. It's [hard cough] [teeth gritted] lovely. Just kidding. I really do like the family shot. Go with it. Or the gap one.

[Melissa Summers]

You'll see which one we picked soon...it's none I'm showing.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[R]

Ow!
I bet the brooch left a mark!

[amy]

Hope you went with the family one as apparently (according to my family, bastards) like seeing ALL of us.

Thinking I am going to use the homemade vanilla recipe for next Cmas, thanks!

[Momfever]

Nice pics! And in the picture your body seems to be holding itself together!

[Kimberly]

That's a gorgeous family photo. Logan is wrong. ;-)

Hope you and Max are feeling better soon.

[HouseofJules]

These are so much fun! Great shots, Melissa!

[Caroline]

I've been reading for a few years now... I'm kind of a lurker, but I wanted to say, Maddie and Max have grown up so much! Ya'll look great.