I'm writing this because it's Sunday and no one will read it. Sorry.

No one really likes to hear about how sick you've been. But Holy Shit, we've been sick.

And I know posting about our ridiculous illness right after a week of posts about food is, kind of gross. But I have to get this out.

We've never experienced the stomach flu in this house, I actually started to believe it was a myth and was simply food poisoning. I believed that all through the night Monday as I slept with my head in the toilet.

In those hours I developed very harsh feelings toward the hummus I ate at around 10pm before going to bed.

But then Wednesday Maddie called from school after throwing up in a garbage can in the cafeteria. She came home and her illness was pretty mild, nothing like my 8 hours of snuggling with the toilet. 

Saturday morning Max complained of a stomach ache and I can't tell you why I thought this, but I thought, "Maybe he's just a little constipated". Yes I realize all evidence would point to my son having the same stomach virus Maddie and I had just lived through but I was TRYING TO BE POSITIVE.

I was trying to be positive right up until he climbed into bed with me, mentioned his stomach still hurt and Blam-O. If you know what I mean. 

I realize being a mother for 11 years and never having to clean up vomit and never having vomit on my person is a pretty lucky break. But it's one of those milestones I didn't feel like I'd missed out on.

Like maybe I sometimes look back on my kid's babyhood and think, "I wonder what a fulfilling breastfeeding relationship would have been like....." But I've never thought, "I wonder what it would be like to wake up just to be thrown up on?"

But now my catalog of experiences has that one on it. Take that, Life List!

Looks like we're all on the mend, though still contagious for 3 days and up to 2 weeks. So Sofa-Fest 2010 continues over here through the long weekend.

I would say we've got one more family member left to get it, but for some reason Logan will never get sick. Even though I repeatedly used his toothbrush and may or may not lick his lips while he sleeps.

I realize this sounds cruel but just ask me about Tuesday morning after a night with my head cradled in the toilet. You'd want a turn to be dismayed by his failure of an immune system.

Either this week will be healthy or I'll be happily reminding my husband that everyone gets sicks sometimes. Win-Win as far as I'm concerned.

(*Note the new banner. I may or may not have fallen AGAIN on the slush on my driveway Friday night. Yes, I was wearing the same shoes I've fallen wearing every other time. No, I don't have a death wish, I just hate shopping.)

Comments

[Jen]

Personally, I love the weekend posts, even if puke isn't my favorite subject. Knowing that I'm the only one reading just makes it seem you know, more internet stalkerlike. Or creeper-like as my teens like to call it.

[Alison]

I have successfully avoided that sort of clean up. I'm neither a mother nor a frat boy, so it will probably be once I have a kid that I get to experience that lovely task.

Hope everyone recovers ASAP!

[die Frau]

Oh, dear. Thus far I have only been the kid doing the barfing having the flu and not the parent cleaning it up, but I feel for you as much as I can.

And Maddie has gone through a milestone of her own: throwing up at school. There's one for the scrapbook....

Glad you're all on the mend!

[Ricki]

When my kids were little, I was always careful to keep them facing away from me when they were sick. Still holding them close and comforting them, but not face to face. My husband, on the other hand, would always lie down with them on his chest, and of course, they'd sit up, announce their ill-feeling, and then barf on his chest. He never learned not to do that, they just outgrew lying on his chest.

[Caryn]

Ugghh. We had the New Year's Eve bug around here. Everyone else but me. I just cleaned it up. And, like you, when my daughter complained of a stomach ache I blamed constipation. Maybe it was the optimist in me? Hope you get out soon, it's miserable to be trapped inside with moaning sick people.

[Maggie May]

i just did a long whiny facebook post about how my entire family has been sick since the beginning of DECEMBER! and i was up all night with my son who was puking. and now...you guessed it..my stomach feels funny

[Pants]

Liss got lucky that time she was out of town when Maddie, in the middle of the night, stood on her bed (judging by the blast radius) and projectile vomited all over the off-white carpet in her room (after ingesting large quantities of something red, by appearances). That one required a carpet cleaner rental...

[Melissa Summers]

Omg maddie does love me!!!!

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Allison]

My mom is a teacher in Bloomfield Hills and 1/3 of her class was out with a stomach bug on Friday. Don't blame the hummus!

[Zynnia]

Oh we had that stomach bug around Christmas time. Sadly, I've been thrown up on too many times. My son will through up easily if he has a cough. He has a bad gag reflex. But I can't tell you how many sheets, and clothes I changed for almost weeks in December. I was the only person who got just a small 2 hour dose of it. I was just slightly nauseous for two weeks while my son, daughter and husband all got it one after the other. I feel for you guys. It is NOT fun! I hope everyone is starting to feel better.

[Melissa Summers]

Ours is definitely the 24-48 hour version. Thank goodness.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Shawnna]

Ugg...we are just getting over the stomach bug. It started w/ my 12 month old last weekend, hit my husband on Tuesday and hit me on Thursday. I can think of no other way I'd rather spend a Saturday night that trying to teach a toddler to puke into a receptcle.

[MomZombie]

How have you managed to avoid being a vomit receptacle after 11 years of motherhood? My kids held it in until they saw me and then let loose. For years I considered having BOUNTY tattooed on my belly.

[sarah]

I'm sorry to hear you and the kids have been sick.

Please order these winter boots I'm linking to. No, I don't get a kickback. They are much less expensive than an x-ray or ER visit. :)

http://www.zappos.com/trotters-blast-too-black-smooth

[Melissa Summers]

I've got boots, but it was like 45 degrees, I thought I'd be fine. But there was a little slush on the driveway.

I bought some aerosoles, hopefully they'll have enough tread to keep me upright for the most part.

[Sarah]

So maybe it was the 45 degree angle of your driveway rather than the shoes that caused you to fall?
Oh wait, I see what you mean.

[existentialwaitress]

One spring we got the stomach flu 4 DIFFERENT TIMES - I kid you not. It was HORRIBLE. And my hubs got the grand idea to feed the kids red jello at one point (despite the fact that I said don't do it/bad idea/I predict something bad will happen). And sure enough, my daughter projectile vomited red jello everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I was not pleased. I hope you're all feeling better soon. Stomache bugs suck.

[Procrastamom]

I find myself profoundly jealous that you have never lifted a small child up from the floor and had him vomit all over your head. While wearing your good work clothes. At the food court in the mall. And had your husband turn around, look the girl at the A&W dead in the eyes and say, "I think you're gonna need a mop over here."

[Vicky]

My youngest son (not quite 2 at the time) threw up all over me at a boat show, just seconds after getting off of a $200,000 cabin cruiser. I mean, I had vomit IN. MY. HAIR. We did some creative clothes rearranging (thankgoodness for turtlenecks under sweatshirts), and I washed my hair out in the sink at a big city convention center, and we went on about our day. The boy was fine after that, not sure what his deal was. Anyway, I felt like I earned my "I'm a Real Mom" pin that day.

[Melissa Summers]

Ahhhhhhh!!!!! Omg thank god he didn't do it on the boat!

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Heather]

I am jealous. No such luck w/ that in our house and my three never fail to fall like (puking) dominoes. I've got a whole bin of old towels in the linen closet just for that use. *shudder* My husband never gets anything either. Of course I'm the one fine dining on crusts of grilled cheese sandwiches and the like. I'll never learn.

[Tina]

I can do it all...just not puke. Egads! I am so sorry...its the worst.

[amy]

Hoping you are all feeling better now...

SO hard to care for pukey sick children when you are not feeling so great yourself.

[amy]

Ha! Reading your comments.. don't get me started!

I hate vomit. As a kid I would spend hours in agony choking it down. Refusing to throw up.. Ug, when I look back I have no idea how I did it..

[small cabin plans]

Weekend posts are sometimes what I want to read because it is about the things in life that we thought are non sense but is actually a big thing.