My Introversion Has Limits: You're as shocked as me!

Tonight my friend invited me out to have a drink with her and our other friend for his birthday and you would have thought I'd been invited into bed with Brad and Angelina without the personal body image issues that would involve.

Because of the talking to people that would happen.

You don't think Brad and Angelina like pillow talk? I'm sorry but you're wrong, I bet they lay in bed at night (when they're not talking about splitting up) talking about my cats and Gary's diet. I can only add to that pillow talk, because I have the inside scoop on exactly what Gary did today (still on a diet and getting pretty pissed about it if you were wondering). 

Anyway my friends like to talk about things (maybe not my cats) and the minute I got in that car I was a Cheshire Cat, a very talkative Cheshire Cat. With a big smile and words flinging from my mouth.

So happy to be out of the house with people. Who can talk.

I used to feel this way when my companions during the day were a constipated 2 year old (who was also kind of an asshole a lot of the time) and a VERY talkative 4 year old. Back then I dreamed of getting into Brad and Angelina's bed just to, you know, be quiet and maybe sleep.

So imagine my surprise when seven years later, after 3 years of being by myself during the day, with only my own thoughts (and the occasional observation of my, admittedly hilarious, cats) to keep me company.

I AM TIRED OF MYSELF!

Being out tonight for just an hour talking to several adults, I found myself pinching my own thigh to stop myself from saying, "ISN'T THIS NICE? ISN'T THIS FUN? DO YOU GUYS LOVE THIS? ISN'T THIS GREAT! I LOVE THIS!!! DO YOU LOVE THIS? I LOVE THIS!"

Not a conversation starter, so you know.

I don't know what this means for me. Probably it means some expansion of what I write about on this site.

I mean I used to write for other sites and it kept me pretty busy and I liked that. Why not find great things to buy and things you can DIY all for my own site?

It might also mean learning more about what I want to do through volunteer work and internships. YES I KNOW I'M 36.

I am a late bloomer.

Comments

[Baume Mercier USA]

Brangelina's bed is something I've been curious about, particularly because of its supposed size.

[Kathy]

That's what I did, I volunteered at my son's school in the libray, decided I LOVED it and made it my new career (gee, that sounds so easy when in reality, I had to go back to school, get a graduate degree and THEN I made it my new career). Volunteering is a GREAT way to get your foot in the door and gain some experience - good luck!!!

[jessica]

I'm 30 and i still haven't figured it out. so you aren't the only late bloomer. can't wait to hear about what's next for you!

[Tina]

I have a 2 1/2 year old and going out by myself with grown ups is like a frickin carnival to me now. I get a little too excited and talk too much....it's pathetic really...

[Jenn (dish)]

I just figured out what I want to do with my life and I'm 38, so you have lots of time. Never too late.

FWIW, my new job sprang out of years of volunteering. I kept thinking, "Gee, it would be so nice if I could so *this* as my job...too bad I can't." It only took a few more years for me to respond, "You can't? Why not?" (You're not really crazy if you don't respond to yourself right away, right?) So, I found a job posting, applied, and am now a happy camper. Do. It.

[Jinx Carlson]

I'll be 37 in about 2 weeks and in the last 3 1/2 years I've radically changed my life.
In return I'm become a happier person, found something that I love to do and am good at to boot.

[Grace]

I recently transitioned to working from home, and I so feel you on this post. I've never been a big talker, but now, by the end of the day, I am absolutely dying for someone to talk to. I feel like I've been talking to myself (well, mostly in my head) all day and I desperately need someone to validate all those fantastic thoughts. Even though, generally, they're very much in the "the cat is still kind of an asshole" vein.

[heidi]

I'm 39 and still don't know what I want to do. Although the pressure has eased since I started a job I enjoy 2 years ago.

[CCarole]

Obviously, I must talk too much. Which is surprising, because I'm an engineer, and work with men all day who talk about nothing that interests me. When I get home, after picking up my 8 yr old and 3 yr old twins (all boys), there is nothing I want more than complete silence. Maybe in 15 years when they are all in college?

I have said repeatedly that I could work alone with no problem. I would relish in the peace.

Do what you love. The rest of us will live through you vicariously.

[Betty]

Yes, Melissa! I have been reading for a long time and I have been waiting for you to get excited about your own blog. I think you have a lot of readers and a tonne of potential sista. Reach out and grab the world by the balls.

In the words of a true Canadian GIVE 'ER SHIT.
Write, write, write. and the ad revenue will follow and then all of your pillow talk fantasies will come true, or at least all of your real estates dreams.

Cheers
Betty

[Laura]

I've lurked for a long time now and wondered when you'd realize how talented you are. You are a very gifted writer and take fantastic photos. When I see the "Did They Eat It" entries I am always anxious to see how it came out. PINS AND NEEDLES! Okay, I exaggerate. And I'm NOT even going to tell you how I enjoyed the holiday booze recipes. I kid. I kid. Kind of.

I don't read many "mommy blogs", but yours is different. In a very good way.

[followingtheroad]

At 31 I am still trying to figure out what to do with myself. I think it's a never ending process: The evolution of self. Imagine how boring you would be if you figured out exactly who you were at sixteen and then NEVER changed that person. Yuck.

I can't wait to see what you do with this inspiration. I loved what you accomplished with your kitchen and bathroom when you sold your house. Even the paint was delicious. Good luck!

[Julie]

I'm a late bloomer, too. Still not fond of social situations, but I certainly get the feeling of being tired of myself. It's nice to see someone blaze a trail I'd like to follow.

[danish]

Funny, it seems like you have a great social life on the weekends, what with the salt contest, the cocktail-making, the camping, etc. I wouldn't think you would be so starved for socializing, like I am! (I get that you are home alone during the day.)

We have like no friends to do stuff with on the weekends and it is really starting to bother me. (our peeps have slowly moved out of state and I am lonesome for girlfriends!) Maybe once the weather clears up and we can take our son to the park and we will feel like part of society again.

PS- I love your "will they eat it" segments too. I made the crockpot mexican chicken 2 weeks ago and it was excellent!

[Melissa Summers]

It's true, I am lucky to have great friends and an active social life. But something's lacking during the day.

[Shrewish K]

It is time to go to work. Seriously. I see myself in you.

[Melissa Summers]

I actually like what I do and make decent money at it, but it's time for an adjustment for sure.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Jenny]

We just moved to a (much) smaller house so my husband can quit his job and figure out what he really wants to do. Nursing? Social work? Maybe. We'll see. You're not alone.

[Sunny]

I noticed you weren't posting any longer on Mighty Junior and I was bummed because you always found such great things!

[Grumpy Barista]

While I was excited to have dinner alone with my kids, it was soe much better having you and the others there, too. Thanks for helping to make it a great day for me, Mel! And believe me, I always enjoy the conversations, too.

[Lenice]

Hi Melissa!
It's been a long time but I still try to read your site when I have time.
I'm 36 and can say I'm a late bloomer too. A little over a year ago I was feeling the same way. I decided it was time for me to go back to school (for social work). I'm doing my internship right now at an alternative high school for pregnant teen moms. It's good knowing it's never too late to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. Good luck & take care.

[Liam's Grandma]

Melissa - I have to tell you that I read your post about 1/28. And then I read the TELL link. Dear, beautiful girl/woman....I know you may have heard this from others and maybe my own message won't have any impact, but you ARE an incredible woman. You HAVE risen above. You are a wonderful wife, mother and friend to all who can claim you as such.

What you have been through, no child should have to go through. And yet, you somehow rose above it and have a writing ability that is, to say the least, mind-blowing. You are way better than so many of the rest of us.

May God shine His love on you deeply. May you be blessed with abundant love always. May you find great peace, love and harmony in everything you see, touch and hear.

Love to you always,

Liam's Grandma (who will make sure that this child has the most incredible life he could ever imagine)....