Parenting Fail.

Okay we're done throwing up. Logan once again avoided this illness sealing my long held belief that he is not human and sealing his long held belief that only assholes get sick.

I do a lot of comparing my life at the ages my children are to theirs right now. This is especially acute with Maddie because she's a girl and because she's so much like me.

In fourth grade I had started to do poorly in school. I stopped doing homework most of the time and signed the notes my teacher sent home to inform my parents. It got worse from there and I was barely passing most of my classes by the time I was in high school.

I've always berated myself for my poor performance in school. Once Maddie was in school I worried I would pass on my seriously terrible academic skills to her. So every year I've watched, wincing to see how she does.

I've been pretty fortunate with her, school has never been particularly difficult and when she struggled with math we got her a tutor and now she's an A student in that too. I've thankfully never had to model good work and study habits, which is good since I don't possess those. She just gets it. She rarely brings homework, she finishes it in spare moments through out the day. She furiously works to finish a project and then tells me, "Oh, it's not due until next week, I just wanted it off my plate."

Obviously not my kid, must be the robot DNA.

So I've become a little complacent with Max, assuming he also had the same internal drive to succeed. This is the first year homework has been any significant work for him and he's been pretty good at doing a piece of his homework package each night so he's not overwhelmed at the end of the week.

Of course this week he came home on Tuesday and said, "Oh yeah, my book report is due Thursday"

And I said, "Oh yeah? What book did you read?"

He hasn't picked a book yet, so that's lovely.

I don't want to be a helicopter parent, but I really dropped the ball here.

But I'm sure that robot gene will kick in any minute now, he'll read all night and create a video production and it'll be ready to go bright and early Thursday morning.

Comments

[Maureen]

I am a total procrastinator... thankfully I work really well under pressure, so school was never difficult for me. But with my kids, I'm way too "helicoptery". As soon as my son walks through the door, I go through the backpack, find out what assignments are due and when and we try to get a head start where we can. He's just in 1st grade, so maybe it's OK, but I have visions of myself still sitting right by his side each night as he writes his senior thesis:) Maybe it's overcompensation because my parents had no idea what was going on with my own school work.

[Sugared Harpy]

I wonder how much abuse played into it for you? I know, for me, it did and I did well in school but like a SUPER INSANE PERFECTIONIST girl.

[nelking]

You didn't fail. This is typical. Our school district has grades on line so I can tell how my kids are doing project by project test by test.

Better he have to have the consequences now than in high school. I only stepped in when it kept happening.

[joslyn]

Considering what was going on in your private life as a child, I wouldn't berate yourself about your poor performance in school. Just wishing someone had been on the ball enough to figure out what was causing the problems in school.

[angelawd]

Sounds like your kids are showing normal first child/second child dynamics.

[Mary]

I was a second child, but I guess my family wasn't normal, since I was the serious overachiever.

Oh wait, I KNOW my family wasn't normal. Like Sugared Harpy, "I wonder how much abuse played into it for you? I know, for me, it did and I did well in school but like a SUPER INSANE PERFECTIONIST girl."

[Melissa Summers]

I think I've always been a pessimistic perfectionist. I just give up when I realize I can't do it perfectly.

[Tina]

and then there is me....Thursday morning...don't you just want to stay home sick? bah ha ha.... Seriously, just because you care enough to carry the "parent ball" means Maddie and Max are ahead of MOST of the public school population.

[Tina]

Saw on twitter Max (& Mommy) may be in the clear!!