I'd love to tell you all about Lucy

But I can't because I tripped on my computer cord last night and dropped the whole thing on my ankle. that was refreshing!

Lucy's great. We are all in love but I feel remarkably like I did when maddie was born. A little out of my mind. I've never raised a dog before and even though ses 7 months old, I can still do a lot wrong and find myself on The Dog Whisperer in 2 years.

The first night I don't think she loved us yet, so she didn't mind her crate to go to sleep. The second night she appears to have fallen madly in love with us and never wants to be out of our sight again.

I took her out 4 times in the night, slept on the dining room floor in front of her crate for four hours until my back broke in two. Finally she won the battle at 6am when I could t bear to put her back in the crate so we cuddled up on the living room floor.

I'd like to say it was a lovely bonding experience but I was deliriously tired and though the loving room floor is more comfortable than the dining room floor neither one is ideal for sleep.

So yes I gave into her and so now I'm sure she's won and has decided she's the leader of the pack and eventually I'll be on the dog whisperer explaining how I raised a dog that set fire to an entire city.

Sorry everyone I was just so tired, I couldn't put her back in her crate.

I'll write more later when my computer is back up and running. In the meantime I'm in my bed, Lucys to my left and on the other side of my back is a cat giving me seriously disapproving looks, "you're letting that thing up in your bed? I hope you're happy, now she'll grow up to kill 32 people in a blind rage. "

I wish I cared but I don't I just want one consecutive hour of sleep, and perhaps an ounce of instinct when it comes to raising a dog.

Comments

[risa Bliss]

I finally crate-trained my 4th dog. I'm a sucker for all the whining and scratching. With the 4th dog, I did spend a few nights with the crate on my bedside table and one finger stuck through the door. You could try putting the crate next to your bed. Dogs are pack animals and don't like to sleep away from the rest of the pack. Good luck!

[Rebecca]

Don't worry - dominance theory has been disproven. It really only applies to wild wolves, and possibly only when on the hunt. So you don't need to be leader of the pack, and sleeping with her on the floor will probably just make her feel safe and loved in a strange new place.

[Rebecca]

Also, you could try moving the crate into the bedroom at night. When we first got our dog, I put the crate on the night table next to the bed (Wally was smaller than Lucy, but also only 8 weeks old) and eventually moved it to the floor of the bedroom. The goal was to move it out of the bedroom entirely in the end, but then we stopped using it altogether.

[crabbyappleseed]

A couple people already said it, but just to add another voice to the chorus- try the crate in the bedroom. Our dog scratched and howled and whined in his crate until we moved it to the bedroom, when he happily went in and slept like a champ.

Also, when we were first training him, we had to physically put him in the crate, which is a big no-no, I guess? We used bits of chicken to tempt him, and never had another fight again. We had to use it for a month or so, but after that, he was so trained to run into his crate (and I mean RUN), he'd go as soon as we told him to kennel up.

Good luck. New dogs are tough, but it's worth it.

[WonderWoman]

Okay. I don't get it. WHY do dogs have to be crated anyways? Why can't he just sleep with you? I've never crated my dogs. They like to cuddle a bit in bed but then go to their dog pillow in either my room or in the kids' rooms. What's the big deal? Current dog is 2 and is very well behaved and never been crated.

[Tiffany]

I can't say enough about crate training. Best thing ever, and of course as soon as I move out on my own and my husband and I get a dog, I allow him to get a dog and not crate train it. I am kicking myself now.

[Miss Elizabeth]

Melissa Summers, you are being silly. Be gentle with yourself; you are only human. Lucy will not burn down the city. I promise.

[Heather]

I'm delurking to let you know that you won't be calling Cesar Milan simply for letting the dog into your bed.
I have three dogs, ages 10, 9, and 8, have had all since puppyhood and only the third spent any time in a crate: when we weren't at home to watch her, into the crate she went. At night, the dogs have always slept in my room, either on giant dog pillows on the floor, or on the bed near me, as they wished. It was just easier to hear them asking to go out in the middle of the night that way. They get off the bed when I tell them. They know I'm the boss (mostly).
Good luck with Lucy!

[Maura]

I third the crate in your room thing. We also put a shirt that we'd worn in the crate so she had our scent close to her. You can also put some blankets over the crate so she can't stare longingly at you or watch your every twitch.

Crating is KEY to potty training. And, they actually really like having a safe little closed in area to go to. Our pup loved her crate until we had her neutered and she couldn't fit in with the "cone of shame". After she realized she didn't *have* to sleep in the crate, it was over. Congrats! It's hard, but rewarding work! Make sure you do some dog training/socialization classes. They really help.

[Lisame]

I'm sorry but crating a dog just seems cruel and unusual. All my dogs have slept with me. Usually wrapped around my feet. My new dog (last one died after sixteen wonderful years together) sleeps between mine and my other half's leggs.

[Lisame]

and....if someone breaks in how can a crated dog defend his house?

[Kate]

You're doing a great job! Hang in there. Do you have a blanket or towel over the door of the crate? Making it dark inside is a good signal that it's time to sleep. I've had two dogs as an adult, one who loved his crate and one who just never liked it. They are both loving, friendly, wonderful dogs and I am almost positive neither has set fire to more than three or four cities.

[Kate]

Lisame -- how can an UNcrated dog defend his house? By responding in an aggressive and terrifying way to a new person? I would rather have a well-trained, sociable dog than one that over-reacts, barks and bites at the slightest provocation. I'll take my chances in the hugely unlikely event that I have a break-in.

[Frauleinfurioso]

It'll be fine; just take it one day at a time. I just adopted a dog 1 week ago, & she's currently snoring on the couch next to me. It was just easier than pushing her paws down every 3 seconds. I don't think she'll be burning anything to the ground!

[Tricia]

I got Boots when he was 4 months old. He had been crate trained with his litter mates, but there was still a period of adjustment. I slept with him on the sofa on the first night. On the second night, I slept on the floor by the crate. On the third night, I was half on the floor with him and half on my own bed, and I think he was all good by night 5. Now, the crate is at my feet in my office, and he seems to consider it home. At night when we turn off the TV, he normally hops up and runs to the crate to go night-night.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my key to potty training (BUT WE'RE SO CLOSE! as long as I keep him downstairs with me, he's fine!) But, I like his crate, and I think he likes his crate. And, even though it wasn't the key to potty training I had wanted it to be, it helped a ton. And, I don't blame the crate. I blame me.

I also don't think crates are cruel or unusual. So, good luck. Sleep tight! Don't give up on crate training! (unless you really want to!!)

[Melissa Summers]

There are a few reasons we can't have a dog sleep with is. Most importantly that the cat does. Seems unfair to her. Of course right now she's next to my head and the dog is curled around my stomach.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Alison of a Gun]

I've been following Lucy and you on Twitter and you're killing me! So cute! I have two dogs who I love SO MUCH. I'm not QUITE a crazy dog lady, but...really, my dogs are super cute and sweet, so I love them. I've had Ren 8 years and Ruby for about a year. Both were rescues and beyond puppyhood, so maybe I'm lucky. Ren came crate trained but I didn't own a crate so at first I tried to keep him in the bathroom. Total no-go, he whined the whole night. He became a sleep-on-the-human bed dog, until I moved into my current house with my boyfriend. He now sleeps in a dog bed, next to the human bed, and so does Ruby. I still don't have crates. When I leave the house, they sleep on the couch. I work from home, and they stay in their dog beds, next to me. They are really good dogs, and even the most dog-hatingest of my relatives is plotting to steal Ruby from me. I personally think crate training is unnecessary, for the dogs I own right now. I hope whatever you end up doing with Lucy works, but I am sure with enough attention and love she (and you!) will be great. Being a dog owner is really not that hard or even that much effort. Walks, love, food, water, maybe a fenced-in yard or park--they don't need much more than that. Or maybe I'm doing it wrong. Which I don't doubt.

[Amy]

To crate or not to crate. For us non-kid-dog-owners this could probably be a hot topic. I believe in the "pack" theory and adding another dog to our house proved that pretty quickly. We crate our puppy and he loves it, but like children, every dog is different. Do what works for your family.

[Kelly]

Crate training did wonders for us with house training Lola, although she spent the night in bed with us after a week or two since hubby couldn't sleep through the whining. In fact, our cats love the crate as well and we will sometimes find them sleeping in Lola's "den."

[Tricia]

haha! My cat sleeps on the bed, too. She's not the reason my dog doesn't sleep on the bed. My husband doesn't love dogs and we'd get divorced. But, it would totally be unfair to kick my 12 year old dog hating cat off the bed for the dog. She would never forgive us. We're on pretty thin ice as it is.

[libby]

I couldn't care less about the crate debate. Just here to discuss the cuteness that is Lucy. Look at those puppy lips. And the widdle puppy paw. I am starting to regress into baby talk as I write this!

[Katrina]

We crated our dog Katie during the day, and she spent the first 6 months barking. We couldn't bear to listen to the crying at night so on night 2, she was in our bed, and happy as a clam. She still sleeps in our room at night, and has the run of the house during the day. She's a good dog.

You can teach her that you're the top dog in other ways, like not letting her through the door before you when you take her outside. Make her sit and wait at the door until you go through and give her permission.

[kay]

Do we get to guess who Lucysummersdog is? (Quite hilarious,btw!) Cuz I'm going with LookyDaddy. It sounds like his 'voice'. Love it.

[Tara]

I second the idea of putting a worn t-shirt in her crate. It's very comforting for the dog. Also, we have had success with using a ticking clock and/or soft music to help sooth the dog (whether in a crate or just home alone.)

[Melissa Summers]

Ooh good guess! I thought it was Alice! (it's not)

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Lisame]

Seriously, my "cruel and unusual" was a joke.

[dmatthews]

Have her take naps during the day in her crate with the door open so she can learn she has a safe place to go. We don't let anyone touch our dogs if they are in their kennels that's there safe place. It helps with our dogs. We just say Kennel and they go. Then when people come in the house they come out when their ready.

[Lori]

I never thought I would crate train a dog, but then I got a puppy who loved to soil my great grandmother's braided rugs, eat books and pieces of wood when I left the house. It took a little while of giving her treats (and only the liver treats initially worked - that dog would learn anything for a liver treat), ignoring her cries until she had been quiet for a second and putting her crate in my bedroom at night so she could see me before she found the crate acceptable. She quickly learned that it was the place she went to when tired of playing with kids, the place that went with her on all trips - to a dogsitter or on a road trip that assures me she is safe and the new place is safe.

I don't make her go in it when I leave the house - she goes in it on her own.

It was stressful at first, but that really only lasted a month. Then she was fine with it.

[Cara]

We've always had dogs and not a single one was crate trained. And none of them burned down the city or even terrorized the neighborhood. We do, however, consider how big they are going to get and enforce the rules as a puppy that we will want as an adult dog. (i.e. Big dogs can not get on beds or couches, but little dogs can.)

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

Good luck! I just had flashbacks to the terror of training a new puppy. We have my dog Oly's crate in our room, and so those midnight potty breaks were a mad dash down the stairs out the door. I think our only break was the fact that Oly was bottle fed and hand raised (shelter dog) so she was much more conditioned to crate living.

We put up a baby gate in the kitchen and during the day I was so overwhelmed with the thought of potty training I literally closed the gate and sat on the floor of the kitchen for hours.

But as with all hard things in life, this too shall pass.

But a Dog Whisperer Marathon never hurts.

[Amanda]

We got our first dog three years ago, when he was three months old. We crate trained him because we were told that's the best way to house train as well, and because we would have to leave for 4 hours at a time and didn't want to come home to nasty surprises. The key: peanut butter in a Kong toy. We'd put it in the back of the crate and he'd go in willingly, then we'd shut the door and head out. This sounds mean, but the truth is that within just a few weeks it got so that he'd see us putting peanut butter in the kong and run into the crate all by himself to wait for it there. It really was his safe, alone space. We have only had one accident in the house after his first three days the entire time he's been with us.

The end of that story: when he was about a year old, we took him with us to visit family - he didn't seem to need the crate, and it didn't work as well b/c there were always people coming in and out of the house, so we let it go. He was fine. When we got back home, we decided to see if he would be ok - he was. We haven't used the crate in two years and recently gave it to a friend who has a puppy.

[Kate]

We got a dog about 8 months ago and let him sleep in our room on the floor. Then after 10 days we decided that he needed to be out of our room and we crate trained him. We are all much happier, but we went to target to get ear plugs for the first week. If you do not cave that should be all it takes. That and a bottle of vodka straight up.

[jdg]

god, and I thought the attachment/cryitout or breastfeeding/bottle issues were contentious. who knew crate/no crate was like this!

[Melissa Summers]

Pretty funny. What's cracking me up is I never put a baby in my room or bed. But with babies I knew I could feed them and put them back to sleep. With this pup I'm not sure what to do

We've agreed to keep her crate in the dining room until Wed. If it's not better by then, logan's leaving town and I can't handle it by myself so we'll put the crate in the closet and see how that goes.

God help me.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Sheila]

It's funny- you could substitute "crate training" for "Ferberizing" or "co-sleeping" or "breasts vs. bottle" and this could be a discussion about babies instead of puppies. Everybody has an opinion, and you're always sure you're doing it wrong.

There really is no instinct when it comes to training a dog- there's only love, patience and a familiarity with spot remover. Just like babies, I guess.

[Cat]

one more vote for the crate in the bedroom. our isabelle loves it - she sleeps with us but in her own bed - best of both worlds. we leave the door open at all times so she can come and go to get a drink, stretch her legs, etc. we often find her in there during the day taking a little nap. good luck!

[Sheila]

Doh! I swear I wrote that comment BEFORE reading Jim's from above, and your response.

[retromom]

She looks like a great dane from that angle! We crate trained my shih tzu until she was house trained. My great dane is going to sleep in the crate at night and when we're at work until she stops chewing the furniture. Puppies are going to cry at first no matter what you do. My advice is to put her in the crate at night and wear earplugs.

[Lisa V]

Daisy sleeps in her "office" (cage) in our bedroom. We kept the door closed and locked, but next to our bed for the first two months. After that we started leaving the door open. Sometimes she sleeps with us, sometimes she chooses the office. And, yes, it totally chased the cat away, which I feel guilty about (mostly).

And truly, your philosophy of parenting children, mostly works with a dog. They'll eat when they are hungry enough, they'll be potty trained eventually and whether you let them cry it out in a cage or sleep with you- they'll turn out fine. Trust your gut.

Just keep your guns and liquor out of her reach.

[Cookie]

I, too, am laughing at the crate v non-craters ripping each other. Personally, we were told by the experts to use a crate with a puppy for their own protection (they get in to everything) and to aid in potty training. It really works to housebreak a dog--fast.

Yes, they will cry until you put the crate in your bedroom with you. Once our dog was trained, the crate was no longer needed. I see it as a temporary thing.

[Lisa]

Word to the wise: if you move the crate to your bedroom, don't use it as a place to drape your clothes if, like me, you are too lazy to hang them up. I lost a pair of leggings to my crate-training dog in 1994--he pulled them in through the tiny slits in the crate and ATE THEM. I see it as my punishment for still wearing leggings when I was too old and they were out of style.

[cara]

Crate training my previous dog was a complete disaster at nighttime. We listened to her whine ALL NIGHT for a month before I caved (even with the crate in our room, with things that smelled like me, with a clock that ticked like my heartbeat, with a smaller crate, etc) and just let her sleep with me.

Before we got our new puppy I read some books and found an idea that worked great for us. We put him on a leash wrapped around one of the bed posts with a puppy bed for him. Apparently since they can't get far away, they don't poop, which worked for us. I'm sure that would have failed miserably with my first dog, but for Oscar it worked amazingly well. Now (2 yrs later) he still sleeps on a bed on the floor at the bottom of our bed. It's astonishing to me after training our last dog.

[kris]

every dog should be crate trained but that does not mean that they have to sleep in the crate their whole life. (and yes, bring the crate into the bedroom, dogs want to be with their people). mostly crate training is for housebreaking but it is also to keep your dog safe when you are not at home. it stops the chewing on bad things issues, the knocking over and eating garbage things and as long as it is not used as punishment dogs generally love their crates. find a decent pet class too(i would avoid petsmart and try to find a real training place but i do obedience stuff so i am in favor of training clubs) and have fun with your pup.

[Laurie S.]

Our dog sleeps with us (purebred Lab) and she is not at all dominant. The biggest problem (besides that she is a bedhog) is the dog hair, not being able to have beautiful linens on the bed due to her shedding and sometimes dirty feet. I was like you, some nights sleep was the most important thing - she definitely wanted to "go out" less once she was in the bed.

Good luck - there are a lot of good books out there, I have one from the library that belongs to me now because the puppy took some bites from it - it is called "Housetrain Your Dog Now", an older book, very straight-forward.

[Kathryn]

she is adorable!

I ahve 2 dogs - 1 crate-trained, one not

while I am a HUGE advocate of crate-training, the fact that Scout is not does not make her a bad dog

and (HORRORS!) they both either sleep on the bed with me or they don't and NEITHER of them has slit anyone's throat or raped and pillaged the neighbourhood

welcome to the joy that is having a dog in your life!

[Tammy]

Speaking as a woman who regularly ends up hanging half out of the bed to avoid the border collie sleeping on her back and starshaped in the middle... I'd say try persevering with the crate.

[Tammy]

OH and here's a tip for you...a ticking alarm clock wrapped in a towel is great for a puppy..it gives them a sense of security (sounds like Mommy Dog's heartbeat)

[Jessica]

But she's a baby girl. I so get it.

Which is why my right arm is constantly sore because of how my baby girl sleeps against my side, so I have to sort of wrench my arm into weird positions. She brings me so much joy and is so worth it. She really is a delicate princess that must be handled with care.

Why yes, I do realize how ridiculous that sounds and how ridiculous I am. But I don't care. She's my baby princess.

[Samantha]

Or ...wait for it... put her in Maddie's room? Isn't she the one who wanted the dog? Personally, I'd try moving the crate into her room, next to her bed so she can fling an arm out for Lucy to lick. At Lucy's age, she should be able to hold it through the night so Maddie wouldn't even need to get up.

This would make Gary happy, Logan happy, Lucy happy and quite likely Maddie happy. You could get some sleep, so Melissa would be happier. (Afraid to say actually "happy", just seems so anti-Melissa). Might PO Max but not enough to burn down any villages...

[rachel]

We sleep with two dogs and one cat IN our bed. No judgement here. None of them has burned down the city - YET.

[katrina]

we have a no pets in bed rule, as it gives us a definative 'private' space where they don't bother us. The last thing you want to feel is a cold wet nose in your nether region when you are trying to get your luvin on with the husband.

That said, we have 2 dog beds in our bedroom, on the floor. That is where they sleep. We crate when we leave the house only.

[kasey]

I am delurking to say HAHAHA! I have a 4 month old baby boy who refuses to sleep in his crib so I have been bringing him to bed with us just to get some god damned sleep. I totally sympathize with your plight. Also, I have a non-crate trained pound puppy who sleeps in bed with us when she feels like it and she hasn't microwaved any cats yet, so there ya go.

[JennyM]

Fuzzy snuggle puppy! Y'all will be fine. And when she burns down the city, she'll do it *cutely*.

Somehow my snuggly puppy has decided that when my husband is out of town, she will sleep on the bed with me, and when he's in town, she sleeps on her bed on the floor and only jumps up on the bed once my alarm clock goes off in the morning. I'm not sure how she learned that, but I'll go with it.

[Melissa Summers]

Oooh! That would be PERFECT!

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Stacey]

Our dog sleeps in bed with us and has since he was about 6 months old. We too are suckers. The key is to have a king sized bed. And even then the dog will somehow end up edging you off the bed. But our dog is sweet and calm and I am convinced it's because we gave in and let him sleep with us. Good luck!

[ella]

Put her crate in your bedroom. They need to feel part of "the pack".
She does need to learn to "crated". Important for when you need to leave the house. There's nothing wrong with them sleep in your bed. Our chihuahua slept with us. It was wonderful.

[Lynne]

Our dog weighs 95 lbs so he can't sleep in the bed with us. When he was a puppy we put his crate in our room and he whined a bit for the first few nights but got used to it. He's very comfortable in it now and actually prefers sleeping in there at night. Whatever works for you and makes you calm, will also make the dog feel at peace - they feel your energy. Just relax and have fun with her, do basic obedience training and she'll be a good dog.

[Barb]

I completely understand. It really is very much like having a baby. But it does get better much, much sooner. Congratulations!

[kate]

I totally vote for letting the dog sleep on your bed, nursing her until she's in 3rd grade and crating your children.

[Hippittee]

We dutifully had our Basenji* in his crate the first night home, which was kept in our bedroom. And to hear him, you would have thought we'd brought home a screech owl with opposable thumbs. He whined, snorted, and shook the cage with tremendous protest -- for hours! At 3 a.m. it ceased with a "THUD". Literally, a thud - him hitting the bottom of the crate as he passed out from exhaustion! Our laughter (because, trust me, that long into it, it's funny) quickly subsided with the thought that we might wake him. He slept in the crate from then on, without issue. And ultimately, we moved the crate into our dining room.

Good luck -- in the mean time, love the stories!

*we bought this breed in particular because they don't bark -- but that in no way suggests (as this comment would illustrate) that they are mute!

[die Frau]

We crate trained our Wheaten terrier, Penny, for all the reasons others have listed. We always put a sheet over the crate so she'd have a sort of cave, and we put a mat and some toys in there, too. She did like the coziness of it--we'd give her a treat for going in there, close the door, and give her one more. She was fine with it. We said we'd do it until she was a year and then my softie husband caved at 11mos. Now she has a dog bed next to ours and sleeps upstairs with us--either on the bed or on her dog bed, or somewhere on the floor. She doesn't care as long she's with her people. She never, never goes in the crate any more, by the way. But it's there and it's HER PLACE, which is most important. We learned that if she goes in there, we must not, cannot pull her out because that is her safe space. We can entice her with a treat, but that's it. Ditto for her dog house in our yard.

So glad that Lucy has a loving family to be with! She's a lucky girl and the training will all go just fine.

[Emily]

We brought out puppy home this September and the thing that really worked for us to stop nightime crying was letting her sleep with an old sweatshirt of mine in the crate. I wore it all day the first day so it smelled like me, and then just tucked her in with it. Didn't hear a peep from her at night from then on. Only downside is that I will never, never get that sweatshirt back... she now carries it around the house with her during the day.

[The Domestic Goddess]

We put the crate in the bedroom with our second one. She's fine. The first dog? Yeah, we caved on her, too. And she still can't be out of her sight, she's always underfoot and literally has to be touching us at all times. Some dogs are like that. And despite what Cesar Milan says, some dogs are JUST LIKE THAT.

You are doing fine. The puppy has been through quite a bit, think of it that way. She needs time to mourn, transition and heal.

[Kristina]

The Maddie's room plan was my first thought, too. But doesn't she sleep with another cat? Then again, if Lucy's crated, does that matter?

And re: the crying while you're sitting right next to her. That's really a perfect Dog Whisperer moment, IMO. Let her know that that behavior is unwanted by you. An old roommate had a bulldog who'd do that, and it's bad for both of you, I think — encourages anxiety in her and frustration in you.

Also, I've actually started using the tssccch! to communicate displeasure elsewhere, and can report it works well with smallish people, too.

[Amy]

Oh! I hope that you can filter through all of the poor information about raising a puppy. Remember that she is having to make a HUGE adjustment right now and cuddling with you - and sleeping in a room with you or Maddie present, even if she is in a crate - will go a long towards making her feel more secure. Of course she is going to cry and feel some anxiety about being separated from you. She is going through so many new things right now. Just love her and concentrate on bonding with her for the next couple of weeks. You won't ruin her. I have raised two beautiful, well adjusted, obedient puppies in the past 2 years - and they both slept in our bed as pups and cried when first being crate trained. And we're all ok. :-)

[erin]

We kept our lab gated beside our bed on a dog pillow until she was 100% house-broken. Then she had the privilege of sleeping on our bed, but only at our feet. She has her own little blanket that she curls up on. 10 years later, the only furniture she gets on is her blanket on our bed. It'll get better. Once Lucy gets used to your routine, it'll get better! She is a beautiful puppy!