Pinewood Derby 2010

Monday night I went to Max's Cub Scout Pinewood Derby and it was fun to see the cars the kids (and their dads) came up with. But then around hour 8 and bad emcee joke number 237 things got a little Soul Sucking.

Logan and Max had a lot of fun designing their car this year. Max drew the design and they brainstormed ideas to make it look like a Hot Rod, or rather a Max Rod.

It was a pretty sweet car, the engine came from a model car kit. You can see his last two cars, here and here.

The emcee was telling jokes to try and keep the boys from becoming wild animals. A useless farce because putting boys together in the same room is like putting a bunch of puppies in a pen and trying to distract them with jokes.

Some of the kids started to stand in line to tell their own jokes as the event wore on and Logan came up with a really good one. I would have given him a trophy if he'd stood up and said it.

It goes like this: "A priest, a rabbi and a gay Cub Scout leader walk into a bar!"

No, that was the punchline. The Cub Scouts have a problem with the gays apparently. They confuse them with pedophiles so they're not allowed to be den leaders.

On the one hand that's really stupid and shitty. But listen, Logan's been a den leader for the last few years and if I were gay? I'd just leave that little injustice alone, it's for your own good.

The boys are wild animals. I'm surprised Logan hasn't been mauled yet. He's debated showing up to a meeting dressed like a woman just to convince the Pack he's actually gay and shouldn't be allowed around the children.

Max lost, which was a bummer. But then we got to leave in under 9 hours so it was sort of a blessing in disguise.

Comments

[Nicole]

I remember attending my brother's pine wood derby days. Ugh, soul sucking, it can be. Max's car is awesome. In high school my physics class had to make these cars and write papers about their physics and we raced them. These kids' cars put ours to shame.

[Pam]

Did it at least go faster than last year with the 3 lane wooden track? That felt like at least a 12 hour evening.

[Laura GF]

The MC isn't the only one making terrible jokes -- it's not like you to make such ignorant, awful comments.

[Nicole]

She's not making ignorant comments...It is a fact that the Boy Scouts will not allow gays to be troop leaders because they don't understand the difference between gays and pedophiles, which BTW is ignorant and awful.

[AEMom]

Wow that track is MUCH fancier than the one we have for our upcoming (Canadian) version: Kub Kar races.

[Melissa Summers]

Sweetie, read the link, it's true and well documented.

Tsk tsk.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[Alison of a Gun]

Liss, I'm confused...what ignorant or awful comment did you make?! Or does Laura not get sarcasm? I guess it needs a special font or something.

[Melissa Summers]

Gays are prohibited from being pack leaders as policy from the boy scouts of America. I am sarcastically pointing out the only reason to ban homosexuals from working with children is an antiquated view that homosexuals have no control over their sexuality and are obviously no better than a pedophile.

Which is not a part of the cub scouts position on gay den leaders. That's just my smart assery.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[anonfornow]

Yeah, my best friend's son is getting badges tonight at Cub Scouts. My boyfriend, who is teh gay (or rather, bi), isn't going on the grounds that 1) the policy is hateful, and 2) he really dislikes children.

I completely get your sarcasm, Melissa. Thanks for reminding us that child rapists are not homosexual men.

[martha]

I think I used to share the horror of (LONG)scout events when I worked with Logan at MM (stop to retch a little - about MM, not Logan!). Pinewood Derby is the WORST. No, wait.. camp outs with no running water or electricity. Worse! No wait.. Obviously, Logan was not listening. Just glad when my son decided not to cross the "bridge" (yeah) to become a boy scout. The moms who were leaders when they were cubs were no longer welcome - it ONLY BOYS from here on out. Turns out they only wanted moms for the wild animal. Go figure.

[Sheila]

I used to have to go to my older brother's den meetings when I was a kid. All the boys wanted to do was jump up on stage in the church basement and do this thing called "Indian Leg Wrestling."

Now THAT was gay.

[Tricia]

I really wish the damn Boy Scouts would stop confusing homosexuality and pedophilia. Because, if they did, my son could join and build little racing cars and get badges and learn how to tie his shoes with the proper knot.

I'm morally opposed to their moral opposition so I won't let him be a Boy Scout. Or go to the circus (but that has nothing to do with teh gay and instead with keeping wild animals confined for our amusement, unless of course the circus is turning the animals into teh gay, then I *might* actually let him go).

[mel fan]

poop, I can't see the photos. Am I the only one that says "photo not available"? Love your stories Melissa.

[Jen]

I admit that I'm just the slightest bit happy that the Boy Scouts have maintained their discriminatory ways because...it allows me to take the moral high ground while avoiding any extra work. If they didn't have the rule, my boys would likely have done boy scouts and just the thought of it makes me tired.

[Melissa Summers]

Ugh I made a huge error with my new iPhoto. Will be replacing pix tonight. Gaaaaaaaa. This day is incredibly annoying.

Sent from my iPhone with fat fingers on tiny keys.

[mary]

My son is 7 and we "reluctantly" allowed him to join scouts. We had a little problem with the God stuff... and mostly with the anti-gay stuff. Then his good buddy joined. His buddy has two moms. We figured, what the heck. You make it what you want it to be. They're tying knots and making race cars and hiking and doing lots of cool stuff and so far... so good. My husband just signed on to be Pack Master, so watch out people!

[Melissa Summers]

I always say the best way to change an organization is from inside.

We have aquaintances who are gay and very involved in a very traditional catholic church here. That's how they reconcile the two things.

I reconcile it by enjoying the experiences my son gets to have and mercilessly teasing the Boy Scout organization for their silly rule.

I'd accept their religious stance on homosexuality if they also wouldn't allow adulterers to be den leaders. Infuriates me.

[anonfornow]

Pack meeting last night was...interesting. Afterwards we all went to Culver's for ice cream, and my gay boyfriend met us there to celebrate the kid's badges/patches/bling. I had cheese curds. Mmmmm.

[AEMom]

Thankfully, Scouts Canada is more open minded. So there is hope in the US.

http://www.bsa-discrimination.org/html/scoutscanada-gay.html

[Alice]

Tricia, I agree with you 100%. And living in a circus-heavy town makes the 'no circus' stance way tougher to deal with! Thanks for reminding me that I'm not the only one.

Melissa, I'm glad that you keep pushing the BSA on their awful ridiculous policy from the inside - I think that it's helpful when dissenting voiecs come from everywhere, not just from us crazy outsider types. I don't know that I could do it, but that's one of the many reasons I'm glad that Girl Souts are way less homophobic. Laziness, camping and cookies FTW!

[p/f]

I had my son in Boy Scouts against my better judgment in the first grade; and he loved it! I could not help but feel terrible about supporting the organization's policies by letting my child participate. I wondered how they would feel when they were older and knew that we put them in the hands of an organization that purported to support good values except when it comes to accepting homosexuals or atheists.

When I was in fifth grade, I found out that my parents' club had an 'unofficial rule' that didn't allow blacks to become members. I was shocked and hurt that my parents would support that garbage. Their excuse was that it was either that or no club. How about no club?

We didn't join Boy Scouts the second year, and told our son and BSA why. There are other clubs for boys that are more inclusive, ironically one is run by the YMCA. I really do support your decision as right for you. Seeing my kids stare at the school trophy case filled with Pinewood Derby cars gives me a little pang of guilt for making my issues theirs. But sometimes what's right for them doesn't make me feel great, it makes me feel less bad.

[Cincy]

Sheila--THAT was hilarious!

[Dave M]

They probably wouldn't let me anywhere near the place either since I'm atheist. But I don't like kids anyway so it all works out.

[Melissa Summers]

See there you go. It's like a battle you win by losing.

[Alana]

Our Pinewood Derby is next weekend, and I am dreading the week-long process that is going to take place to build my son's car. He won first place in his pack for the last two years, so there's quite a bit of pressure riding on this year's race.

[Tricia]

Alice, thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one out there who rains on my child's parade by not letting him go to the circus. And the circus is in town right now, with lots of ads on local tv, so I'm definitely the bad guy right now.

I'd never thought about comparing the BSA with clubs that once (and many that still do) exclude blacks and jews. I guess it's possible to try to make change from the inside but unless you are really making it known that you don't support their anti-gay stance, how does one do that without basically tacitly supporting just by being a part of the group, giving $$, etc etc?

Honestly, I'm asking the question because I don't know the answer. So, yeah, no boy scouts for us. Perhaps we could start a different kind of scouts that includes merit badges for best bedazzeling of your sash and ability to strut in the parade in 6" heels! :-)