Suburban Bliss:: Birth Control Via The Written Word

Mythical Shoes

(From here.)

A friend once said, 'I've never met someone who worries so much about money.'

And oh boy that's me. But then again, you could tag almost anything onto that sentence and it would still be accurate.

"I've never met anyone who worries so much about cancer."
"I've never met anyone who worries so much about their car."
"I've never met anyone who worries so much about ebola."

All true!

But today I'd like to talk about my shoes. I have these shoes I bought last year at Old Navy. They were like $15 and I loved them so much that at the beginning of the winter I pretended people wore shoes without socks in the winter in Michigan in a snow storm.

I've worn them, and worn them, and because I'm so cheap I haven't really worn many other shoes. $15 shoes from Old Navy aren't really meant to be worn every day in all types of weather. The sole of these things is going to fall off soon and then I'm going to be totally out of luck. Forced to wear the only other shoes appropriate for spring in my collection, the ones my mother complimented me on a couple of months ago.

My mom says things like, "I bought these shoes for kickin' around!" And they're the ugliest shoes you've ever seen but she wears them all the time anyway. Because she's always kickin' around....I guess?

This is why I was horrified by her telling me I had cute shoes. Because 'cute' to my mom....is inexplicable.

The problem is I hate shopping for clothes and such(am too cheap, and overwhelmed by all the choices) and I like these shoes more than any other shoes in the land. Except that they're wearing out and wearing them in the rain is like walking around barefoot. I walked a few blocks in the rain last Wednesday and the shoes stayed wet for 3 days.

I'm wondering if you can help me find a similar pair for under $40. Here are some pictures I just took at the coffee shop with my phone. (Not awkward at all.)

Detroit, come on.

Someone educate me.

Why did Dennis Archer have to leave to make way for Kwame Kilpatrick?

Detroit, you confuse me.

Halloween Costume Challenge:

I am going to a Halloween party tonight.

You guys, I didn't come up with a costume.

Logan had a great idea, "Let's be Mummies."

I haven't bitched about my weight in quite some time because I am mostly at ease with my body (and all its flaws) at this point. However, I know wearing skin tight anything, even gauze, will not be flattering to me and my ample hips.

I do not want to be a mummy but come 7pm, without a better idea I'll be forced to wrap myself in gauze like a mummified fat sausage.

No One Wants This To Happen.

Please, please tell me your best last minute adult costumes. Easy on the cliche's though, everyone I've seen in my search has made me groan. If I wanted people to groan I would have just wrapped myself in gauze like a mummified sausage.

Advice is needed. I am officially asking.

If you think reading my blog is a drag, try being my friend.

Wow this is hard. And a lot of fun.

As much as I'd like to continue to awe and inspire you with the contents of my troubled mind, Logan wants all that for himself. Oh he loves it. So do my girlfriends.

Like this conversation, "Let's talk about something funny, which triggers a thought about this ball of crap you're processing! Let's laugh until you look away about to cry!"

"Yes, let's and then my lip will quiver and I will cry and you'll be left wondering 'What the hell!'"

This is purely awesome.

Instead of doing that, let's talk about Chicago. I'm leaving for a long weekend in Chicago with my girlfriends on Friday. How about you tell me what we should do.

Then, you'll tell me something and I'll be like, "That sounds great...except it reminds me of this thing I'm dealing with......" (((Quiver))))

My loose list is as follows:
Drown my sorrows.
Drown my sorrows.
Keep drowning my sorrows.

No actually it's this: Millenium Park, cocktails at John Hancock, lots of photography, some time in Lincoln Park/Wrigleyville/etc. Meeting Erin and Brian for a potentially boozy lunch where I'll say, "Henry is just adorable....he reminds me of that thing I'm dealing with....." ((((Quiver)))))

Weeeee! Maybe I'll booze it a little less to help keep the quivering to a minimum.

We're going to want to stick around our hotel, (which is downtown near the Magnificently Overpriced Mile), but during the day I wouldn't mind being up in the other neighborhoods. Since Flea's sex shop closed, I'm just not sure where to do some shopping/browsing.

We're talking about having brunch at Ann Sather up near Belmont and Clark on Sunday before we leave town and then stopping into Uncle Fun and The Paper Boy. What other unique shopping should I hit while I'm there?

Throw out your downtown dinner ideas and neighborhood shopping ideas thank you please. I'll weed through them and when one reminds me of the thing I'm dealing with I'll quiver quietly to myself.

It's times like these I wish I wrote fiction people.