Pro Tip: Make sure your kid doesn't still have a tube in his ear drum before you decide to pour peroxide in his ear canal to clean out wax. I hope only the "Whining" part of Max's brain was eradicated when I doused it with hydrogen peroxide. While my son openly wept in pain, I felt pretty good. A big shiny ball of Shitty.
We've got an ear infection. Again.
I'm thinking Max and I should just hole up in my bedroom chronicling the ways our bodies continue to fail us.
Although Max is no fun because you give him a shot of ibuprofen and he's no longer mad at the world. Unlike me, who, as you might imagine, is pretty fed up with my body and all this crap. I'm 36 body, let's keep it together.
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Aside from sitting around asking my body why the yoga isn't making it happy? And the mostly vegetarian dinners and the broccoli and breakfast shakes packed with nutrients? We need therapy my body and me.
When I'm not doing that I've been doing things like making homemade vanilla extract. I was going to take pictures of the process but then I remembered that everybody did this project last year. I mean I did mine naked only wearing a mustache and a flower brooch, so it wasn't totally Last Year. But I couldn't exactly share those pictures. But listen if you're making vanilla extract as holiday gifts this year? You have to do it naked wearing a mustache.
I made 24 four-ounce bottles and that's a lot of vodka. I had to make another trip to Costco for a giant bottle to finish the project. However, since I'd already done my Costco shopping, I ended up buying bread, deli turkey, cheese, to make the giant bottle of vodka less noticeable. No one really batted an eye. The turkey must have distracted them.
I also didn't have a funnel on hand so I may have used one of the kid's water bottles filled with vodka to get the vodka where it needed to go. Don't worry, I used almost all of it before putting it back on Max's nightstand. He's got an ear infection, a little vodka won't hurt.
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I thought one or two of these might be our Christmas card photo, but Logan said* "No one wants to see us." (*didn't say but kind of meant.)
Since we're using another shot for our xmas shot I thought I'd share a few of the other shots from our fun (unedited, ignore dust on the disc) photo shoot last week with Joe Vaughn.
Here's our Christmas Miracle. No one's eyes are closed and I don't look morbidly obese. Maybe Tiny Tim will live after all.

Max loves her no matter how insane she acts towards him.

I can't believe she's 11.

Here's our very own gap ad.

(If you can read Max's shirt, make him a sandwich.)